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britswriting · 1 year ago

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Devotion (22)

Devotion Masterlist

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- Unedited - I've read through this so many times over the past month, that honestly if there is an error, I wouldn't notice it anyway lol

*Leighton's POV*

Gemma's fourth birthday went as well as a spoiled four year olds birthday could.

Colby and I woke G up with a pancake breakfast before we got ready to pick up Noel; having lunch with Logan, Cynthia, and Harper followed by us all playing at the park.

"You excited to have your first sleepover, bug?" Colby asked her as we drove back to our apartment, car full of excited toddlers.

"Yessss!" She squealed, making our ears bleed followed by an echo of toddler gibberish over how excited they were to play with all the Barbies and watch all of the Disney movies in one night, their words, not mine.

Colby joined in on their excitement, ramping Gemma up about all her new toys waiting for her at home, ready to be unwrapped and played with. I swear Colby was more excited to give her her gifts than she was to open them.

Gemma spent the night at her dad's to celebrate her birthday a few days ago, giving Colby and I ample time to go gift shopping for our now four year old; Gabe and I having worked out the whole birthday thing due to his school and work schedule.

The five of us got up to our apartment and the girls roped us into watching Tangled followed by Aladdin and finally Toy Story as they colored, played with new Barbies and Littlest Pet Shop toys, running all over our apartment screaming and laughing.

I was convinced we were never getting them to bed, that was until pizza came and we thankfully we had hit a food coma. I have never felt so grateful when all three of them were crashed out cold in Gemma's room, snuggled in all of the blankets I could find, more than I was as I very slowly, and as quietly as possible, left the bedroom door cracked open.

"First sleepover down" Colby huffed, plopping down on the couch as a breathy laugh escaped my lips, plopping down next to him. "I am ex-haust-ed"

"You're one to talk! Try being pregnant and chasing toddlers around to get the pizza sauce and grease off their fingers! All walls almost had greasy toddler fingerprints on them"

"Hey! Try getting them all into pj's!" He countered, my quick "I helped!" ended us both in laughter, Colby pulling me into his chest, kissing my temple as we stared at the blank tv.

"I can't believe she's four. Feels like just yesterday I found out you were pregnant and Amber and I were rushing you to the hospital. She's growing up so fast" He said quietly, a hint of reminenacne in his tone.

"And now we've got another little one on the way" I matched his tone, craning my neck to look up at him. "She still needs a name you know. And a home" I chuckled.

"You're dads coming with us to Minnesota, right? To go look at those houses?" Colby asked.

"That's the plan. We need to get it done before I can no longer fly"

"Working on it, baby. You know just as well as I that moving is a whole thing. Moving states is even more of a chaotic mess"

"Yeah but we've moving a family. It's a little different. Let me know when you book flights so I have time to check up on Lexi. I know she says she's been fine, but I mean.. are you ever really fine after an abortion? I'm sure there is all kinds of conflicting emotions. I just... I don't know, I want to be there for her. Do my sisterly duties" I expressed, guilt seeping out of my heart knowing how much time has already passed of me being a shitty sister.

"Did she ever tell Brennen?" He asked, chewing on his cheek.

"I don't think so, and honestly? I don't blame her. Granted, I'm not in that situation, but I mean.. it's kind of understandable why she wouldn't want to. Either way, it's her life, her choice. I'm going for moral support and to be a good sister. I'm trying to make up for loss time" I sighed.

I wouldn't say I had regrets in life because I somewhat believe in the butterfly effect, and how everything works out in the end like it's supposed to for you, but I do wish I could change the way I handled certain situations.

My actions have made me lose a lot of people and make some pretty poor choices. If I were to regret something, I'd definitely regret acting out the way I did with Aaliyah, or the way I handled Lexi's situation; it has although taught me to be more patient, and really hear people out. I wish I would've guided Lexi more than lash out. Thankfully I was given time to do that. To correct my mistakes.

"Is she ever going to tell your family? Or is this some sisterly secret I'm in on that I shouldn't be?" He asked, eyeing me as if he can read my thoughts.

I shifted, shaking my head. "I don't know what she's doing, but she's over 18. Yes we're blood, but I've already done her wrong. It's not my place to out the abortion. Her life. Her choice. I have no right to tell our father like this is some tattle tale over a toy"

The day before our flight Gemma and I brought over food for Lexi, spending a couple hours with her as I made sure she was okay.

I walked into the unfamiliar

Gemma, Colby, my dad and I all made the flight to Minnesota over Thanksgiving, spending the holiday with Uncle Garrett and Aunt Ginger.

"I can't believe you're thinking about moving back home" Aunt Ginger expressed, setting another christmas ornament on the tree as I sat on the couch and watched, snacking on Saltine Crackers like my life depended on it as nausea kept hitting me in waves.

Being only five months along and feeling this miserable felt like a joke. Every morning I wake up and already wish to go to bed the second my feet touch the floor.

"Feels right. I don't want to raise my children in California. It almost feels like a disservice to them" I laughed, my hands resting on my belly as I imagined two little girls growing up, playing in the snow and swimming in the lakes.

"They say your heart comes back where it's fondest" She eyed me over her shoulder, grinning.

"Is that so? I thought the saying was time apart makes the heart grow fonder or whatever" I snickered, watching her eyes light up.

"Maybe that's it! You're just missing your uncle and me and you need a good ole' cooking dance party!"

"You know what, maybe you're right" I laughed, "I just can't imagine staying in a place that holds so many unhappy memories; I feel bad though for taking Colby further away from his family. I mean, we're leaving behind his family in Arizona, my siblings in California.. I just... can you really stay in a place that holds all the worst moments of your life? Not to mention Gemma and her friends, and I know she'll make more friends... I just feel so goddamn guilty all the time. Like no matter what choice I make, I can't win. I'm going to be hurting someone in the end"

"What about the best? Having Gemma, meeting Colby, getting sober. Glass half empty, or glass half full, you know?"

"I think I'll just always view California as the place that's ruined my life and maybe that sounds dramatic, but I can't help but view it so tainted"

"You guys gossiping about me?" A voice interrupted, my head turning to look behind me, Uncle Garrett walking through the kitchen into the living room with Dakota hot on his heels.

"Aren't we always?" Aunt Ginger grinned, standing up on the tips of her toes, attempting to hang an ornament. Uncle Garrett making his way to her, placing a kiss against her lips before taking the ornament out of her hand and placing it higher up on the tree.

"How you feeling, Leighton? Named that precious baby yet?" Uncle Garrett questioned, my body scooting forward on the couch so I could pet Dakota. "You're only going to be an incubator for so long" he teased, my jaw dropping as I laughed.

"An incubator?!" I repeated, Uncle Garrett chuckling. "You're lucky I love you"

"The luckiest!" His eyes crinkled as his cheeks tightened.

"No we have not named the little one yet. I'm trying to make sure she has a home. Hoping we can find one on this trip. I'm nervous Dad and Gemma are going to be a pain in my ass; Colby would tell you I'm the picky one though"

"I personally think Garrett is a great name" He smirked, my brows raising as I nodded.

"Ah yes. I can't imagine how she'd ever get bullied in school if her name was Garrett" I teased.

"Are you talking naming my daughter without me?" Colby's loud, dramatic voice called from behind us, the sound of a patio door closing followed by screaming giggles and thumping paws hitting the tile.

"There's the newly found four year old!" Uncle Garrett swooped up the giggling toddler, Bentley still barking which made Dakota start to bark, enabling the chaos that surrounded me.

With the barking and the laughter and the loud talking over each other... it felt like home.

No stress, no worrying.. just laughter and smiles.

I could feel my heart swell as tears prickle my eyes, imagining this to be my life.

Coming over whenever, hanging out with the family; my daughters laughing and running around with the rottweilers, my uncle cooking and singing obnoxiously as my aunt and cousins tried to somewhat keep us under control.

It all felt perfect. Like I had finally found the missing puzzle piece.

This was home.

That thought was only solidified as the six of us: Colby, Gemma, my dad, Uncle Garrett, Aunt Ginger and I, walked through what would be our final house tour of the day.

It was perfect.

"Why are you crying, Leighton?" Colby asked quietly, pulling me into his arms.

"We have to make an offer, Colby. This is it. This is our home. It just... Colby" my voice cracked as my vision blurred. "The room closest to the stairs? Imagine a beautiful nursery. Our daughter growing up in there. Gemma right across the hall; them fighting over the shared bathroom between them. The master bedroom at the end of the hall? The most amazing sex of our life could be help in there-" he laughs, "and the most comfy cuddles and our girls driving us wild. The beautiful backyard where they can go play with maybe a dog, or our family. The kitchen that's so fucking perfect.. this is it. It just feels right. Tell me you feel it too. Tell me this is the house" I begged, wiping under my eyes as I looking around the upstairs hallway, feeling like my future was rolling out on film right in front of me.

"This is our home. Let's make an offer tonight, alright? We'll fight for this one. The twinkle in your eye as you look around this house is the only thing that matters. I swear you were about to drool over the kitchen appliances" he laughed, pulling me into a kiss as I giggled, my cheeks warming up.

"Don't act like you weren't melting over that room that would become your office!" I pointed at him, loving the way he smiled, not saying a word.

Back at my Aunt and Uncle's house, we made an offer through our agent and tried to keep ourselves busy as we waited to hear something back.

"What about Riley Colette?" Melissa suggested, the entire family lounging in the living room as we tossed around baby name ideas.

"It's cute for sure" I acknowledged, my hand moving back and forth over Dakotas side as she snuggled into my leg.

"Jessie Paige?"

"Brock? Jessie Brock? No" My head shook, hating the imagery of a girl with a cowgirl hat and some sort of yodel dialog line dancing around my home.

"Johannah?"

"Brock? No" I vetoed yet again.

I swear hundreds of names were listed and we were getting nowhere.

Colby and I laid in bed that night, still scrolling through different names, testing them out when silence fell between us, his soft voice finally breaking it.

"I found a name I really like, but it's kind of out there"

"Shoot"

"Lennon? L-e-n-n-o-n?" He spelt, my head wobbling side to side as I thought it over.

"Lennon Brock? It's not bad. It's not that strange"

"Lennon Paige? Your family seemed to like Paige"

"Paige sounds weird with Brock, I veto it"

"Alright. Do you like Lennon? Should we test it out for a while or should we keep scrolling?" I asked, already scrolling through his phone again before I could respond.

"We can test it out" I nodded, leaning my head against his shoulder, my eyes closing.

"Really?"

My eyes opened, "Why do you sound surprised?"

"I thought you wouldn't like it" He shrugged, jostling my head slightly.

"Hey!" I winced, "Careful! I'm fragile, you know" I teased pinching his thigh.

"You are far from fragile" he cackled, his head hitting the headboard, my loud laughter drowning out his "Ow", unable to stifle it.

"Are you okay?" I asked through laughter, shifting so I was sitting upright, leaning forward slightly causing my head to have to turn further to see Colby who has happened to roll his eyes.

"I'm fine, not that you care" He teased, my own eyes rolling this time.

"You know I care; just sometimes you have to laugh first" I grinned, giggling as he pulled me back into his chest. "Careful! I'm housing a child here!" I jokingly panicked, Colby's hand coming to cradle my side, pulling me closer to him so I didn't fall off the bed.

"And you look very beautiful doing it" He sweet talked.

"Shut up" I groaned, trying to pull away, only to be stopped and somehow moved onto Colby's lap.

"It's true. You look very beautiful pregnant. I've always told you that"

"Not true. Everything is swollen, and everything hurts and your baby is murdering my ribs and my bladder and how did you do that? I weigh as much as an elephant and I know you've been slacking in the gym!" I whined, attempting to move off of my fiance, only to be held in place by his strong hands gripping my hips.

"You do not weight as much as an elephant" he smirked, both of us laughing at him not denying my gym comment.

"Alright well if you keep my crotch on your dick things will start to happen and we can't be doing that with my daughter asleep next to us in my Aunt and uncle's house"

"I thought pregnancy sex was your favorite kind of sex?" his thumbs hooked into the waistband of my sweatpants.

"Mhm" I moaned, falling forward a bit, scooting back slight on his crotch, Colby's face scrunching slightly as he moved under me, "But not when my daughter is asleep on the floor, snoring, might I add"

"You don't think I'd actually initiate anything with her right there, do you?" His eyes clouded with concern, my head shaking.

"No, but I don't want to be soaked through my underwear and have to go to bed needy and desperate. So, I'm just gonna-" I carefully got off his legs, laying back down next to him, "and we are gonna pretend each other aren't right here so my you know what can calm down"

"You want to pretend I'm not here?" he asked, my head nodding as my eyes closed, only to feel his warm breath on my neck followed by warm lips.

"Colby, stop" I groaned.. or well.. moaned.

I do not feel like slathering makeup on my face any day, let alone to cover a hickey!

"I love you Leighton Rae" he murmured against my skin before backing off, my head falling back as I huffed.

"I hate you" I grumbled, Colby chuckling next to me. "I love you too, now leave me alone. Don't you have your own situation over there?"

"Feel and find out"

"Colby!" I whisper shrieked, extremely aware of my four year old not even ten feet away, the audiotrack of her snoring being a painful, yet sobering reminder of why I cannot do exactly what my vagina wishes I could.

"We can always go sneak off to the bathroom" He suggested.. or well, reminded.

"With this pregnancy bump? No way. You know I need pillows to be comfy and I will murder you if you're the only one who gets a release" I grouched, Colby's chuckle against my skin making a shiver go down my spine as I snuggled closer into his warm chest.

"I'm excited to start our life together, Leighton. I hope they take our offer and we can finally start this whole moving process" He sighed, lacing our fingers together, his thumb rubbing against my knuckles, eventually landing on my anxiety ring, spinning it a few times.

"I can't believe we're buying a house and I'm ready to start putting together our nursery. I really want to do this whole baby thing the right way"

"You're having a home birth, I don't think you understand what the traditional right way is" he laughed, my eyes instinctively rolling as I snuggled closer to him when something dawned on me.

"Shit!" I hissed, "We need to find people here for that!" I quickly - well as quick as you can when you're five months pregnant - snatched my phone to go into research mode, Colby's hand grabbing my arm, pulling me back into him.

"One thing at a time, Leighton. We can do it tomorrow, just lay here with me, please" His soft words lulled me into his chest once again.

"You're offly clingy lately" I noted, inhaling his chest, my eyes closing as I felt his chest rise and fall under my touch.

"Just feeling grateful. I've been talking with Sam a lot lately and it's just reminding me how grateful I am to have you. To have Gemma. This baby. Is it a crime to want you close?"

"Only if I can't breathe" I fake choked, gasping, Colby swatting my ass making me laugh before kissing him.

The next couple of days felt like we all could barely catch our breath as we awaited the conformation that the house was ours, along with researching nearby facilities for our at home birth. I knew in the end I wouldn't regret the choices, but in the current moment I couldn't help but feel like I was way in over my head as Colby and I searched high and low for our best options as well as calling backup hospitals in case of an emergency.

Who moves halfway across the country when you're due to give birth in four months - an at home birth at that, with a four year old?

Psychotic people. That's who.

"Have you heard anything yet?" I asked Colby for what was probably the tenth time since we've awoken and it was only 3pm.

"No, Leighton"

"They said it would be a few days! It's been a few days! Do you think maybe other offers came in?" I worried, tugging a shirt over Gemma's head before letting her step into a pair of leggings, getting ready to go to the park.

"I don't know baby, we've just got to wait"

"I hate waiting" I huffed.

"Me too!" Gemma chimed in making me laugh.

"See, she gets it!" I pointed to Gemma, G grinning as she nodded.

"Yeah! I get it!" The peanut gallery communicated, a sassy grin on her face.

"I also hate waiting, so why don't we go to the park and bypass some of this waiting time" Colby reached for Gemma's hand, the two of them leaving me in their dust as they made their way outside.

I sat on the bench, listening to Gemma's screaming laughter as her and Colby played on the swings and then the slide, followed by monkey bars.

"Mommy! Come play with us!" Gemma squealed, running around in the sand before climbing up the playground stairs.

"Mommy's resting, G" Colby reminded her, a sigh leaving my lips.

"But I want to play with mommy!" Gemma whined, staring down at Colby from the playground landing.

"But G-" He started, my voice quickly interrupting.

"No, no. It's okay. We'll play" I confirmed, wincing slightly as I pushed up off my thighs.

Ignoring the ache in my back, the soreness of my feet and the shortness of breath, I plastered on a smile and walked the best I could over to my daughter.

"What do you want to do lovebug?"

"Come up and play!" She squealed, bouncing on her feet.

"You alright" Colby asked, eyeing my tight smile and head nod. "Leigh-"

"My daughters waiting"

I carefully climbed the stairs, Gemma's "Come on mommy!" was the only thing I was focusing on.

Fuck the back pain, the lack of deep breathing, and my puffy ankles.

"Where to honey?" I huffed out.

"Slide! Coco, catch us!"

Oh god that's a long way down.

"Slide with me mommy!" Gemma demanded.

"Okay baby, one sec.."

How the fuck am I gonna do this?

The ground was a long way down. Once I'm down, I'm not sure if I'm getting back up again.

"Come on, mommy! Come on!" Gemma rushed.

Slow and steady win the race...

I carefully eased myself to the ground, attempting to block out Gemma's persistent rushing. By the time my ass hit the slide, I felt both relief, and panic. Relief because I was sitting; panic because now I have to slide with a four year old and I can't even see my feet over my belly.

"Colby you better catch us! I can not afford to fall on my ass with this baby in my womb!" I warned, Gemma crawling over my thighs as best as she could, proving this whole sliding whilst pregnant thing to be difficult.

"Careful, G" I reminded her, not wanting her pressed to hard against my stomach. "Ready?" I cooed, wrapping my arms around her tummy, pressing a smooth to her cheek before sliding down the slide, Gemma's giggles being drowned out by my slight fear and panic of how quick we're going down the slide.

"Coco! Catch me!" She squealed, Colby crouching, arms wide, swooping Gemma up and setting her aside before stopping me and helping me up.

"You alright?" He checked in, my head nodding as my heart pounded. "What do you say to mommy, bug?" Colby asked, Gemma already climbing back up the playset.

He sighed, a smile plastered onto my face as I went to go join her again.

"Hey, you don't need to chase her around" he reminded me, cupping my face between his hands.

"In a few months it won't just be her anymore. It's okay. I just need to be careful and go slow.."

"Leigh" Colby's warned, my back already turned towards him ready to meet my child back at the slide.

"Just make sure you catch us"

"Your baby is kicking my ass" I groaned, a heating pad on my back as my ankles had ice packs draped over them. "You were on the phone with Sam for a while out there, everything okay?" I checked in, having not heard from him nor Kat in a while.

"Yeah. He said they're moving back to California" Colby dropped his bombshell, nonchalantly scrolling through his phone. "We also are scheduling a filming trip at the end of December.."

"The end of December?" I questioned, my brow furrowed as I stared him down. Colby's head turned, catching my eyes as he nodded. "Like.. as in.. Christmas time?"

"After Christmas"

"When would you be back?" I questioned, nervous that I would be losing him for the holidays.

I thought about inviting Sam, Kat, Aaliyah — if she'd actually reply and meet up with me, and my siblings over for some sort of holiday party before we end up moving, but if Sam and Colby are out filming, there goes that idea.

"I don't know Leighton, but we need to stockpile content before Lennon gets here" He said, my ears piquing in intrigue.

"Lennon?"

"We're trying them out, right?" Colby asked, eyeing me almost like he was waiting for me to punish him.

"Well what about Riley?" I half teased, still shell shocked out of him suddenly using Lennon.

"It just doesn't feel right" His head shook, turning away from me to look back at his phone.

I snickered, "What doesn't feel right? it's a popular name"

"Has that ever really been your style? Trend following?"

"I'm dating you, aren't I? Mr. I Run paranormal side of youtube" I grinned.

He smirked, an eyebrow cocked before shaking his head, "I just mean, I can't see my daughter being named Riley"

"Lennon is just so out there though" I faux teased, chewing on my lip, expecting banter back only to sigh through my nose as he replied, grumbling, "No worse than what the Kardashians are naming their kids" my lips pursing as I caught the quick attitude change.

"I'm not vetoing it, Colby. I'm just saying we should keep our options open. There are millions of baby names. It's a big choice"

"I understand it's a big choice, but you're also due not that long from now" he expressed, my own brow furrowing.

Was he.. nervous?

Typically I'm the one running around like a chicken with their head cut off freaking out over how soon my baby is going to be born, and how many things we have to get done.

Was it finally hitting him?

"I'm due in April" I reminded him.

"And before you know it, it'll be here"

"It?"

"Your due date"

"Oh! I thought you were calling our daughter and it" I cackled, Colby's eyes rolling. I quieted down, my shoulders dropping, wishing I could touch him but he was too far away from me, "Are you alright?" I worried.

"I'm fine"

"Colby..."

"I have a lot to do Leighton. With the baby coming, the move, Gemma... us always being on and off and Sam breathing down my neck about.. about.. about our channel.. I just.. I just want to at least check one thing off! What's wrong with Lennon?" He asked again, shifting his whole body to face me on the couch.

"Nothing's wrong with it babe, I just think we should keep our options open"

His bobbed black and forth slowly, "Meaning you don't like it"

"I didn't say I didn't like it. I just said it was out there. It caught me by surprise when you said it so nonchalantly. I'm sorry if my reaction seemed negative. I just wasn't expecting you to so blanelty call her that"

"Why wouldn't I? That's what we're doing, right?"

"Well you haven't been too receptive to the idea" I murmured.

"There's just a lot on my mind" He took a deep breath through his nose, leaning back against the armrest of the couch before straightening out again, glancing around the room before looking back at me.

"So I've heard. The Move. The baby. Filming" My eyes rolled, "We're all stressed Colby, and god knows I like to complain about it, but at least I complain, or well, cry about it. You just stew in it until you practically shove me out of the way to go explode somewhere. Do you really like Lennon that much? Then let's try Lennon. It's not that I don't like it, or that I'm saying yes to just shut you up. It's just scary to me to name a baby. It's their name for at least 18 years, if not their entire life. It's scary to me to make such a big commitment so quickly"

"You did it with Gemma" He grumbled, unlocking his phone again.

"Like hell I did" I snickered, "I had a million ideas for Gemma, but nothing felt right and by the time I chose Gemma, I still questioned if it was right. If my mom would've liked it. If it felt like a name my daughter would have. If you like Lennon, let's keep using it. See how it feels"

"I like Lennon" He confirmed, his eyes locked on me; studying me.

"You like Lennon" I repeated, nodding, watching the way his brow pulled together.

"You say it like you disagree" his eyes narrowed.

"I'm not going to keep going in circles Colby. I said what I needed to say. Let me just sit on it, okay? Let me look at nursery decor with the name in mind, look at it in different fonts-"

"Different fonts?" he interrupted.

I nodded, "Different fonts. I just want to imagine the name in our life" A snicker threatened to slip out, but I shoved it far, far down like my life depended on it, trying to figure out what his deal was.

"Okay" He hummed.

"Okay?" I reconfirmed, struggling to read his expression.

"Okay" he reconfirmed, "Pull up the fonts"

"Fonts? Now? With you?" I faked appaul.

"Yes with me" He scooched closer to me, our thighs now touching as he leaned over me, grabbing my laptop.

"It's a personal matter" I tried, Colby turning on my laptop.

"Personal matter? I put a baby in you. That was a personal matter"

"And what a good personal matter it was" I reminisced, grinning when Colby's cheeks gained a red hue. "You remember it well, don't you?" I teased, missing our intimate moments together.

"I remember a lot of our sexual altercations well"

"Altercations?" my jaw dropped.

Who calls sex an altercation? It's not like I trapped him into putting a baby into me!

"What fonts do you want" He distracted, scrolling through different ones, the name "Lennon" written out, sized up to be very in your face as he shuffled through fonts.

"How's this one?" He questioned, showing me "Lennon" in Caveat, followed by Georgia and then Dancing Script when I finally stopped him.

"Colby, I was just joking. We don't need to go through every single font." I eased, "Why do you like Lennon so much?" I pressed, having this inkling feeling that there were some reason he was pushing the topic so hard even though I've already stated we can keep trying it out.

"Does there need to be a reason?" he asked.

"Is there not a reason?"

"I don't know" Colby sighed, "You keep saying it has to feel right. That there is this.. what, connection? Or whatever. It just.. it feels right. Leighton, Lennon and Gemma. My girls"

I felt my heart swoon softly at the words "my girls", feeling pathetic as I stared at him with heart eyes.

"L's huh?" I teased, "Sure G won't feel left out?"

"Then we better hussle this kid out and get another one in and give them a G name" He smirked.

"You want three kids? You want to deal with my pregnant ass a third time? Are you sure?"

"You're right. Maybe we should adopt, or do surrogacy"

I watched Colby pace on the patio, phone held up to his ear as I dipped another potato chip into my chive and onion sour cream.

Colby's been talking to Sam a lot lately, but instead of their casual catch ups, talking about work or figuring out their next hang out... it's been hushed voices, popping veins in his forehead and Colby acting a little too clingy afterwards.

I knew he was hiding something; I just didn't know what.

Christmas surprise maybe? I know he likes his vacations, but what would that have to do with Sam?

Crunching on another chip, I watched him pause, his back to me before his head fell back for a moment, then resuming the slight pacing.

"Mommy!" Gemma whined, a piece of paper clenched in her fist as she walked up to me.

"Hi sunshine, what do you need?" I smiled softly, turning around.

"I cwlor-"

"Color" I corrected, her brow furrowed.

"Cwlor"

"Color"

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" She yelled, shaking her paper at me.

"Hey, no yelling at mommy. I'm just trying to help, bug. What's wrong?"

"I cwlor on paper but..." She grumbled, shoving her paper in my face, "I get out da lines and.. and.. and.."

"Hey, breath baby" I coaxed.

"I messed up! And.. and.. and.. it was for.. for.. Coco! And I... I.. I do.. do bad job!" She began to cry, showing me the "messed up paper"

"Let me see, bug. I'm sure it's not messed up"

She handed me her paper, and I looked at the precise coloring, different colors slightly out of line but it appears she tried her hardest.

Surely this would've caused a meltdown ages ago if she noticed the "imperfections"

"Where did you mess up baby? I don't see anything wrong. It looks beautiful bug" I complimented, Gemma frowning.

"I cwlor da puppies nose.. nose... rwed.. not.. not.. bwack and.. and.. and.. I try fix it! But.. but.."

"Hey, look at mommy" I carefully crouched, both of us eye level to each other, my hand clutching the countertop for dear life. "Inhale, exhale" I coaxed, "Mommy's not going anywhere. You don't need to rush" I wiped away a tear, my hand staying on her cheek, cradling her face, "It looks beautiful, my love. Coco will love it. Not every mistake is bad. It just makes it more unique. Coco loves unique things, Gem"

"But.. but.. see!" I whined,

"I'm sure, lovebug. Coco's on the phone but once he's done, I'm sure he'd love to see it. You did such a good job, sunshine. No more tears, okay?"

"Otay.."

"Okay" I chuckled, offering her a hug, Gemma walking into my arm, her arms wrapping around my neck.

"I love you Gemma Lorraine. You know what we could do in the meantime?" I asked, Gemma pulling away to look at me.

"What?"

"We could go find Papa and show him your beautiful artwork! How does that sound? We go find Papa and show him the puppy you worked hard on?" I asked, watching the light come back to her eyes.

"Yesssss!" She squealed, snatching the paper, "Come on, mommy!"

Gemma and I found my dad, Gemma happily showing her artwork, a pride to her tone now as she explained how long it took her.

I heard the patio door slide open, turning to look over my shoulder as Colby stepped inside, softly closing the door behind him.

"Hey" I chimed, his head snapping to look at me.

"Hey" He replied bluntly, walking over to the kitchen island, opening the fridge.

Okay..

I walked over to him, taking a seat on the barstool across from him.

"Everything alright? You've been stressed after talking with Sam lately" I asked, "Something going on with work?" I guessed, attempting to pick his brain for any sort of clue of what was going on.

"Works fine" He replied, taking a drink from his glass.

"Communicate Colby. I can't read minds"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Oh, great. So should I just sit around and wait for you to explode? Or are you just going to keep stuffing it until you decide to leave one day and go cliff drinking and land back in jail?" I hissed, keeping my tone low as I stared him down.

"That's not fair" He challenged, my brow raising in, ready to go head to head about this.

"How is it not fair? I'm asking you to share with me what's stressing you out. I'm asking you to communicate. To let me be your shoulder to lean on, and you're telling me you don't want to talk about it? I get it, maybe you need space, you want to process things but dammit Colby! I'm not doing this again! You don't get space. You don't get to process. We do this shit together. I cannot lose you to drinking again. I've seen this movie one too many times and guess what? The ending fucking sucks. So suck it up and tell me what's wrong!" I whisper yelled.

His palms laid flat on the counter, his arms outstretched as he leaned forward, shoulders up towards his ears; staring at me. "I'm not leaving you to go drink. I just want to think. Okay? Can you let me do that? Can you let me think?" He asked, or well, belittled.

I Iicked my lips, my jaw clenching as I kept my eyes locked on him.

My own shoulders hunched forward, my hands pressed against the edge of the counter, "You do not talk to me like that. You do not disrespect me like that. You do not belittle your future wife, the mother of your child. You do not get to act like I'm a child when I'm the only one acting like an adult in this conversation; and fyi, Gemma wants to give you something and I'm only telling you this once. If you as much as think about talking to her the way you just did to me, I will personally buy your flight to Nevada—"

"Nevada?"

"Nevada. You can go back to Sam and leave me, and my daughters the fuck alone." I pushed myself off the stool, ready to walk away, my head looking over my shoulder as I said, "I'll give you space, but I expect you to tell me what's going on, or this isn't going to work Colby" before finally waddling towards the bathroom, desperately wanting to decompress.

I stripped out of my clothes in the bathroom, staring at my belly in the mirror.

There is life growing inside of me again, and if that wasn't crazy enough, it's Colby's.

That fact alone felt fake. How the hell did I go from wanting nothing to do with him, to carrying his child, not to mention having his ring on my finger being a physical reminder of our promising future together.

I stared at my protruding belly button, a shiver going down my spine; I'll never get used to that.

I've always hated it. Hated the way it looked, the way it felt. It always gave me the heebie jeebies.

Staring at my perfectly imperfect bump, I couldn't help but have Colby's name suggestion swirling around in my head.

Mentally, I started to test it out;

Lennon.

Lennon

Lennon?

"Lennon" I whispered, my fingertips feather touching my skin, feather light touches skimming over my skin sending a shiver down my spine.

"Lennon" my voice got a little bit louder, not ready to commit to fully testing it out.

"Riley?" I murmured, my head tilting before I changed to view from the side. "Riley? Is that your name? Riley? My daughter Riley. Gemma and Riley. Riley's birthday. Riley's going to school. Riley's missed you Cole-" I froze, my tongue wetting my lower lip, my head shaking. "You're not Riley, are you baby girl? You've never been a Riley, or a Jessie"

My eyes prickled with tears as I faced the mirror again, staring at my belly.

My feather light touch dragged down, then over, spelling out Lennon against my skin, the tickling feeling making my body shake, followed by a baby kick; my face breaking out into a smile as I laughed, a tear rolling down my face.

"That's your name isn't it baby girl? Your daddy was right wasn't he. You're going to be such a daddy's girl aren't you. You and G are going to have him wrapped around your little fingers. Is that your name baby? Lennon? Did daddy name you munchkin?"

I started to cry harder, staring at my belly, imaging holding my beautiful baby girl, kissing her sweet little forehead, watching her cute little smile. The way her eyes opened and closed.

God I can't wait to see those beautiful eyes.

The way her nursery would look with Lennon written over the crib.

Lennon Brock.

Lennon Paige Brock?

Lennon Colette Brock?

Lennon.... Lennon... Lennon what?

"What's your middle name sweet girl?" I asked softly, cradling my belly between my hands. "Daddy didn't give you a middle name"

"Lennon and Gemma, Gemma and Lennon. Gemma and Lennon Brock... Gemma Brock? Lennon Brock? Leighton..... Leighton.. Brock?" I struggled, chewing on my lower lip, sniffling the tears away. "Lennon... Fox? Lennon Fox..... Lennon Fox?"I tested out, my heart heavy with guilt at the thought of baby Brock not having Colby's last name.

Could I really walk away from him if it came down to it? I mean, I knew I needed to protect myself, and my girls, and that he has no right to take his shit out on us... but could I really leave him? Give his baby my name? Lose this ring yet again and fully cut our ties?

The thought of never seeing him felt wrong. Like saying goodbye to someone suddenly lost all too soon.

Sighing, I turned on the shower, letting it warm up before stepping in, sighing of relief as the warm water washed away my pain and tears.

There was something about hot water hitting your sore muscles that made me want to melt in this shower and stay here forever.

Eventually stepping out, I wrapped a towel around my body, grumbling as it didn't fit. I stared at my stomach, and part of my boobs that weren't covered. "You're killing me munchkin" I sighed, "I swear if my boobs are growing again.." I compared, jumping, my head quickly turning to my left at the sound of a knock. "I'm naked!" I called out, all of a sudden on edge, the fear of being walked in on - even if the door was locked - as I was naked becoming very real.

"Leighton? Babe? You alright? You've been in here a while.. I was hoping we could talk? I want to apologize for earlier" Colby's

"I uh.. yeah I'm fine. I um.. I'll be in our room in a few. Let me get dressed please" I called out, scanning the room for clothes... shit. "Wait— Colby!" I called out, waiting, trying again when there was no reply. "COLBY?!"

"What? Are you alright?" Colby's muffled voice asked, a thud being heard against the door.

"Yes! Sorry.. I just.. can you bring me clothes? Those black wide leg yoga pants — you know what I'm talking about right? With the belly band? In my suitcase? Can I have those please? And um.. like a flowy sleep shirt? — And underwear! I need underwear too!" I yelled, afraid of him having already walked away.

"One sec" he replied, leaving me alone, naked, barely covered in this bathroom, dependent on him to complete the task due to this damn towel not fitting around my boobs and bump.

I ran the towel through my dark hair, my eyes landing on my tattoos.

I smiled softly, bringing my hand up to Gemma's tattoo before letting my hand trace over the empty spot on my other collarbone.

Lennon? Riley? Jessie? Hannah? Colette? Paige?

I stared at the spot, imaging a mirrored tattoo of Gemma, but of this baby's name, losing track of time as my mind wondered about what that would look like.

"Leighton? Can I come in?" Colby asked, lightly knocking on the door.

I quickly held the towel over my body, opening the door, careful to not turn around, holding out my hand for the clothes, his eyes fell down to my open palm, slowly handing me the clothes, refusing protest as I shut the door.

He looked like a kicked puppy.

I walked into our bedroom, dressed, crouching to dig through my suitcase for a hairbrush when the door shut.

"Hey" His soft voice started, taking a seat on the bed. "I'm sorry for how I talked to you earlier. I've just been stressed with work, and figuring things out with Sam. G showed me her picture. She did a good job" he rambled slightly, my brush getting caught in my hair, myself wincing as I brushed through the snarls.

"She did do a good job" I agreed, nodding.

"I'm sorry" he repeated, silence falling between us, "Leighton" he sighed, a grumble to his tone gaining my attention.

"What?"

"Why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you. I just have nothing to say. I thought you were the one that was supposed to be talking?"

"You're pissed" he observed alone, his tone flat.

My eyes rolled, tossing the hairbrush back into my suitcase.

"Why do you do this?" I sighed, turning around to face him.

"Do what?"

"Stop playing dumb. You know what you're doing. You're avoiding the situation. You said you wanted to talk, so talk! It's incredibly frustrating when you drag me in here with the intention of talking and then just staring at me like I'm the problem. I don't understand how your brain works! I'm trying so damn hard to communicate with you, and to have a better relationship with you — something you said you also wanted to do, and you just sit there letting the silence linger instead of talking to me like a damn adult"

"I wanted to apologize for how I talked to you. I'm not ready to discuss what's going on right now" he communicated, the look he was giving me told me that he thought he had cleared his name, when in fact he just made me circle it in permanent ink.

"You not wanting to discuss it with me makes me feel mad. It makes me not want to stand here and talk with you. It makes me feel like you don't think I'm capable to comprehend, or to help you in this situation and that's extremely frustrating. I'm tired of crying, and I'm tired of yelling. I don't want to fight with you, Colby. I'm going to go hang out with Gemma and the dogs.. I need some time away from you for a little bit. You said you want to process whatever is going on, and I need time to think. If you hear about the house offer, please let me know" I told him, grabbing a hair tie off the dresser before leaving the room.

It had begun to snow, dusting the ground in a crisp white which overexcited my toddler, wounding us out in the backyard trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues.

"I got one!" Gemma cheered, jumping up and down with her head back, tongue out as she tried to catch more.

"Good work lovebug! Are you excited to have snow? I know I've missed the snow"

"YESSS! Getta build snowman like Fwozen!" She grinned up at me before running after Dakota, giggling with snow between her mittens.

I watched Gemma play in the snow, a warm gooey feeling in my chest as I listened to her laughter and the dogs barking as they played.

Everything about this trip has felt like hime.

"Leighton?" Colby's voice carried throughout the yard, his head poking out from the patio door.

"Yeah?"

"I got an email about the house"

I traded places with my dad, not wanting to leave my four year old unattended outside whilst I joined Colby in the kitchen.

"Good news?" I questioned, sliding the door shut behind me, toeing off my shoes.

"I haven't opened it yet. I saw the notification on my phone"

We both sat down on the stool, Colby having already snatched my laptop from the couch.

With a quick log in to my email, my heart pounded in my chest as I held my breath, Colby clicking the email.

He groaned.

"What?"

"It says to call him" he huffed, grabbing his phone to dial our relator.

I listened to it ring and ring and ring before finally hearing "Hey, Colby! Thank you for getting back to me in a timely manner" followed by a chuckle.

Colby cut to the chase, "Did we get the house?"

My heart dropped at his sighed, "The owners got back to me. They decided to go with the higher bidder. I'd say we could counter offer, but it's already a done deal. They informed the buyers about an hour ago that they were taking their deal"

I felt like the rugged just got pulled out from under me. That warm fuzzy feeling in my chest was replaced with stone, crumbling into rubble right in front of me.

I saw Colby's lips moving, but I wasn't listening.

How couldn't we have gotten the house? We put a good offer in! More than they were asking for!

The house.. it felt like our dream home. Like it was the one. How couldn't it be ours?

Everything felt like it was falling into place.

I guess the saying is true;

If it feels too good to be true, it probably is.

* * * *

I struggled a lot with this chapter, not going to lie. To be honest, I struggled a lot with description of tone. My brain kept going blank at the descriptive words and it was giving me writer's block; I apologize if the lack of descriptive words made things feel more repetitive. I truly couldn't get it together lol

I posted a 1k word deleted scene from this chapter in the Extras book if you want to read it It's Colby attempting to tell Leighton, but I didn't want it to happen yet so I deleted it and posted it elsewhere.

I took an accidental hiatus. My mental health was rough :/ sorry for disappearing. I'm doing my best to get stuff done. It's just hard sometimes (:

I'm still having a hard time, but all I can think about is how I haven't updated in ages.. so I'm finishing this up with music blasting in my ears so I can decompress and focus and hopefully get this out. Well.. I guess if you're reading this, it happened lol - December 18th. This would've been out on the 10th.. but I got writers block on the ending..

Update, it didn't happen lmao - December 20th I finished writing this at exactly 12am lol

Written on: November 25th, December 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 10th, 20th 2023

Published on: December 21st 2023

Word Count: 8170

Part Twenty Three

#colbybrock #colbybrockfanfiction #colbybrockimagine #colbybrockimagines #colbybrockoneshot #colbybrockoneshots #colbybrocksmut #samandcolby #samandcolbyfanficti #samandcolbyfanfiction #colbybrockwattpad #colbybrockblurb #samandcolbywriting

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eureka-its-zico · 4 years ago

Text

Irrevocably Yours Pt. 2

Part 1

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has some of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So Part 2 is that slow burn build up (with possible cute moments?) and part 3 will be the actual SMUTTY goodness. Hopefully this is something cute and fluffy that is enjoyable and helps progress the story a little more so when a full length next part of a bunch of smut comes it all makes sense. Or idk anymore lol I edited this thing four times and I just really hope you all like it Please enjoy this wordy mess. I wasn’t sure how to properly write it out the end and yeah...I winged it. If it needs to be fixed lmk please!! As always, I hope you all enjoy. Much love, Jenn

P.s. when I wrote this I listened to Lauv’s “I Like Me Better,” and Pink Sweat$ Feat. Kehlani’s “At My Worst,” on repeat like crazy.

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 15,496 (I know:it’s a hefty boy)

Genre: Fluffy/Smutty, slow burn,

The next day at school you weren’t a hundred percent sure what was going to happen. And sure, maybe you did wake up from a dream replaying that moment in the mud. The ending is a little bit different. This time, dream you didn’t let your chance to kiss him go by. When the opportunity presented itself, and you were both looking at one another like before, you��d leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t surprised to feel him kissing you back.

You could still feel the ghost of the imagination of him leaning down to press his lips against yours. The way he leaned in; eyes soft with longing as his body leaned deeper in against you. The weight of him pressing you into the mud until you were sure an imprint of this moment would be there forever. This imaginary kiss you’d shared was sweet, chaste, and everything you could’ve hoped for. Deepening at the last second as your alarm blared you back into realty.

It made you want to ring your hands through your hair in frustration.

Your whole walk to school was nothing but foggy images of the dream on repeat. A mixture of yesterday’s events accompanied them with each frame until you weren’t sure which was the actual moments or what your head had created. I mean, you did know he didn’t kiss you, but...the look in his eyes. Maybe Jungkook hadn’t, but there was that moment you swore maybe he felt the painful comedic romance moment of it all too.

All these unanswered what if’s you'd created had built an impossible chasm that seemed to stretch infinitely wider between you in your head. In the end, you were your own bully as your mind stayed up until three that morning playing out every scenario you could think of. Even the ones that ended with you probably reading everything wrong, because what did you know about body language? Or, more specifically, boys built like Jeon Jungkook.

It didn’t matter that you had two tests today and never finished your homework for home period, but what the hell. Nothing like hopelessly daydreaming about the boy who may or may not have flirted with you and harmonized along to songs with a hidden voice of an angel, am I right? And sure, a large part of your night was spent chastising yourself half the time to remind you there was no way in hell Jungkook could feel that way towards you. Even just a little. Your inner monologue of bringing yourself back down to earth, another culprit in the growing list of reasons why none of your assignments were completed.

What can you say? You were a mess.

Your only game plan you’d been able to agree on was just to daydream out the window. Writing out your own hapless love story starring the boy who sat across from you in the home room. With a silent plea to the universe that you weren’t called on to answer any questions.

Your arrival at homeroom was met with barely seconds to spare. The bell rang behind you, and a few other students, as you rushed towards your desk.

“Hurry, hurry to your seats! Or I’ll write you up as late!”

Mr. Choi was all talk. Everyone knew it and his excessive arm movements to rush every body that passed his desk made him look exactly like a conductor. His crazy movements were enough to distract you for a split second from the one person you were desperate to ignore.

“Good morning, class. I hope you are all fully rested and awake for class this morning. Let’s have us open our books to page two hundred and forty-two and continue on with our lesson.”

In unison the sound of backpacks unzipping with students reaching in their backpacks to bring out textbooks filled the class. The only person who didn’t currently have said book was holding his hand up, and seated directly across from you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

“Seonsaengnim, I’m sorry. I haven’t received my textbooks yet.”

“Ah, that’s alright, Jungkook. You can go ahead and share with Y/N, again.”

You hoped your face wasn’t giving away the panic you felt rising up to match the blush that was streaking across your cheeks. Jungkook’s hand was already on the leg of your desk. His fingers tips grazing across your knee in passing as his hand wrapped around the bar and used it to bring you closer to him. You kept your eyes glued to page two hundred and forty-three and refused to look in his direction. Jungkook seemed to find a way to remedy this; his hand came into view and grabbed hold of the book corner and slid it over to his side. And as if he was the world’s greatest magician, he now had your attention.

Your eyes immediately shoot up to acknowledge his presence, instead of staying on the book. You knew that devilish smirk of his would be there to greet you even before you actually saw it.

“Well, good morning to you too, Y/N.”

His voice practically hummed a tune as he spoke. His eyes heavily searched your face, and you prayed whatever he found wasn’t any lasting signs of rosy cheeks.

“Good morning, Jungkook. I hope you slept well.”

“I slept very well, thank you.”

“That’s good-“

He cut you off fast, his next words a hush of teasing: “Even though some crazy girl tried to smother me in mud yesterday.”

Your world narrowed in on his smug position in his chair, but quickly realized he just wanted your attention. The smile he wore softened around the edges as his eyes tried to look away from you and yet found their way back. You did your best to hide your smile and must have failed miserably for his face noticeably brightened.

“I’m sure if that’s what she was doing - which I doubt - you probably deserved it.”

Jungkook pretended to be wounded and caused you to practically jump out of your seat when his free hand landed on top of yours.

“I can’t believe you think I deserve to be smothered,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes in a weak attempt to look away from him. Anything to not be swallowed up by how stupidly cute he looked in this exact moment. The fingers that held your pencil lazily tapping on the pages of the math book to bring his focus to something else that wasn’t you.

“We need to pay attention.”

It was the only valuable excuse you could come up with to look away from him. But who were you kidding? You didn’t have to be looking in Jungkook’s direction to be painfully aware that he was there. His own gaze burned straight through you and left a trail of heat everywhere his eyes seemed to land.

Right now, you were aware they were on your lips and stirring every emotion from your dream you tried to suppress. Plus, you weren’t being cute. Unless Jungkook found the sight of you chewing your bottom lip into dust attractive.

It was a terrible nervous habit that seemed to only backfire right this second. You were sure he was ready to make a comment on it. You waited patiently for it to come in between you mindlessly copying equations off the board and the sea of arms flying up to answer whatever it was you’d just written. My gosh, you were trying so damn hard to not pay attention that you were doing nothing but paying attention to him.

Please don’t let him just see I’m doodling.

Mr. Choi was in the middle of showing how to work out a long equation when you decided it was safe to give Jungkook a glance. It was instantaneous how quickly you regretted it.

You jumped back against your seat in a weak attempt to recover some space. You weren’t exactly sure how you’d missed it -missed him- getting so close, but you had. Jungkook’s face was mere inches from yours and it took everything to not show him you weren’t at all bothered.

“Jungkook,” you whispered fiercely. “What.are.you.doing!”

Jungkook ignored your question. His eyes squinting as they looked around the side of your head. The gesture made you increasingly subconscious until you couldn’t keep your hand from going up to brush alongside it.

“What? What is it?”

You were expecting the worst.

“I think I see some mud still stuck inside your ear.”

And like magic your earlier blush reappeared. Your tongue rolled against the bottom of your teeth in a weak attempt to keep yourself from smiling. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to stop it as the urge to give in tugged mercilessly at your lips. The playful glint in his eyes was enough to keep the panic of how incredibly close he still was. Your eyes hopelessly glancing at the pair of lips that plagued your dreams.

Jungkook noticed.

And how did you know this, you might ask?

Jungkook gave it away by the dramatic way his lower lip was drawn in by his teeth. Every movement he made sure was exaggerated and stupidly slow. His eyes watch for your reaction. He didn’t have to wait long; your eyes were glued to them long before his teeth joined the equation. You should’ve felt more embarrassed at your own blunt display - or maybe at his -but, god help you, you weren’t.

You tore your gaze away from him and did your best to pretend whatever part of the lesson you’d missed was interesting. The dirt on your shoes could’ve been more interesting at this moment; anything to keep you from looking back at him.

“I rinsed my hair three times in the shower. Thank you very much.”

“Did you think of me while you were washing yourself clean?”

If what Jungkook was after was seeing your face light up brighter than a tomato he’d succeeded. Your cheeks instantly flushed and felt scolding hot. The only line of defense you could think of to fight the devilish look in his eyes was to give him a smack on his arm. The motion only caused his sinister smile to turn into a full blown grin; a bark of laughter leaving him seconds later.

Jungkook chuckled out an, “Ouch!” His body leaning back, faux wounded, and rays of sunshine pouring out of him in waves.

“I meant when you were getting the mud out of your hair.” His voice carried the singing sweetness of his laughter; airy and light. This boy who you did think of in the shower. All hard edges and softness; sour and sweet. Your very own sour patch kid. “I mean, I thought of you when I tried scrubbing it out from behind my ears.”

Your heart gave a brief jump at his omission. What you wished you would’ve focused on was the fact he’d admitted to thinking of you...in his own shower. But nope! Instead, your mind appeared to focus more on the fact it was while he scrubbed at his ears.

“I scrubbed my ears too.”

Oh. My. God, you inwardly cringed.

Is that really what your magical brain decided to say in return? Jungkook leaned back in, eyes inspecting not just your ear, but your entire space. Recklessly moving in dangerously close, and your heart was ready to beg for mercy. Whether to completely close the space between you or to stop teasing, of which you weren’t sure.

“It appears you didn’t do that good of a job,” he huffed.

A gurgled scream flew into your throat; the sound was utterly ridiculous and Jungkook ate it up. His head flew back in laughter as your hand moved to swat at him again.

The disruption turned the attention of your teacher directly to the two of you, and Mr. Choi was quick to address it.

“Jean Jungkook! Y/L/N, Y/N!”

The both of you rose from your seats in unison. Jungkook’s rise the definition of graceful, while yours in comparison was met with anxiety and your knees colliding with your desk. Your small “Oomph,” of pain sending him into a fit of giggles beside you. The hand you sent in to pinch at his leg only sent him into another fit.

“Y/N!”

Stupid, stupid! Of course he would see.

“Seonsaengnim!”

To appease him, you felt your body respond in a ninety-degree salute. Your face keeping down to stare at your shoes and praying you weren’t about to be sent out of the room.

“Would you mind explaining what Jungkook and you found so interesting that the two of you felt like you didn’t need to be a part of class.”

God, it wasn’t a question. He really wanted you to tell him, and what could you say?

“Oh, he was just asking me if I was in the shower...thinking of him. And he was thinking of me too!”

Which wasn't a lie. Maybe it wasn’t as dirty as he might have intended, but it was enough to make your cheeks flush to life with their usual color these days. Your mind was still racing with an appropriate answer for Mr. Choi. You were taking so long you were ready to blurt out anything he might want to hear.

“Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook gave a respectful bow and lifted his head. His full attention now resting on the impatiently waiting man at the front of the class. “We were discussing the fact that you, respectfully, have written the equation wrong on the board.”

The entire class seized up. A collective air was taken at Jungkook’s bold attempt to correct him. It was awkwardly obvious that he wasn’t happy at the idea of being corrected. However, Jungkook remained unfazed and waited for the right time to speak.

“Is that so?” He snapped. “If it is so wrong, Jeon, then please, come and fix it for me.”

You were sure his order for Jungkook to go to the front would make him back down . No one enjoyed doing class work on the board up front for all to see. But you’d forgotten Jungkook wasn’t like everyone else. He kept his head high and moved to grab his cane; his hand wrapping tightly to its handle. Jungkook stepped out from inside his desk and let his feet carry him forward. He walked with a noticeable lack of a limp and you were willing to bet that strike of pride was costing him.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t believe that Jungkook was able to walk without it. It was just that your memory forced you to recall the pain he was in during the field trip. The flashes of frustration as his eyes threatened to spill over with tears.

Jungkook came to stand beside Mr. Choi. His hand reaching out to take the marker that the older man had held out waiting for him to prove his equation wrong. He plucked it from the older man’s hand and moved the last few inches to stand in front of the board. His eyes scanning the problem quickly. Your breath held tight in your chest as you watched him get permission to grab the eraser. The class transfixed on his every movement.

You wondered how many of the girls in your class focused on him like you were. The same way your eyes ate up every simple movement he made. The notable flex of his back while he stretched to erase the middle and last part of what Mr. Choi had written out.

“You had a good start here, Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook paused to stretch out his hand. Fingers marking underneath the start of the problem. “But you didn’t multiply these after they were divided, and because of this the middle became wrong. With your core of the problem being wrong the solution was never able to end in its final conclusion.”

With every word, Jungkook’s voice became more self-assured. His presence enveloping the room and demanding the attention he’d already received without question. Mr. Choi watched on with his arms crossed; index finger hugging his mouth in concentration as he watched Jungkook work. From the back of the class, you could see students writing down the new formula. Some of them realized the obvious error Mr. Choi had made.

Jungkook looked at the problem over again on repeat. If it’d been you, you would have left it where it was knowing you’d done what no one else did. But Jungkook wanted to know, for himself, that it was correct.

Finally, he stepped back from the whiteboard and handed the marker back to Mr. Choi. Who looked measurably impressed with him. His index finger he’d used for thinking now covered up a timid smile before he dropped it to grab a hold of the marker.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Jungkook.”

Jungkook gave him a passing bow as he made his way back towards the back of the class. Back to you. It took everything you had not to notice how everyone’s view of him seemed to change. Even the honor students; the ones bound for scholarship glory to prestigious colleges now seemed to take new interest in him.

You’d heard stories about Jungkook, like everyone else did. The Boy Wonder. The boy who seemed unfairly good at everything. Before you’d ever met him, a part of you believed there wasn’t a way the universe would seriously do that. And yet, as he moved to sit back down beside you, you suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of being below average. Your subconscious rose up to stop whatever sunlight you’d felt at his earlier words, and crushed it until it began to dim. All but snuffing it out.

Jungkook fell back into the seat at his desk riding the high of confidence he’d gained from proving he’d know how to fix the answer. Not just know it; teach it. The air around him completely changed. He was the sun and the rest of you were becoming helplessly lost in his orbit. From the backwards glances of the others around you, you were pretty sure they weren’t going to mind one bit.

Either Jungkook was honestly oblivious to all the attention or he just didn’t care. He practically beamed as he leaned himself closer to you completely unaware at how breathless he made you. That smile you’d admired during your field trip showed itself beaming and bright. He was so damn pleased with himself his eyes sparked with joy and you wish you could’ve pouted. Maybe found the strength not to care or to wonder if he could see how he affected you.

You wanted to pout and be in your own bubble, damn it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I don’t think he’ll bother us again.”

Us.

Those butterflies you’d sworn to yourself you were not feeling towards him began to come to life. Or were they butterflies? You weren’t sure what to call the feeling Jungkook gave you.

Sure, Jungkook made your heart thunder in your chest like a caged animal. And yea, maybe you swore to yourself there was an attraction there that you couldn’t explain, but that was just your dopamine talking. That didn’t mean the two of you were soulmates or the universe decided to bring you both together by a mess of unseen choices.

But...when Jungkook looked at you this way it was hard to tell your thundering heart anything else.

The two of you continued to look at one another. A heartbeat of time passing between you with Jungkook waiting for your reply. You watched the edges of his smile start to wilt as realization set in that you weren’t planning to reply. No smile or teasing remark was headed his way, and just as fast as he noticed it, determination swiftly replaced the light weighted joy he’d shown moments earlier.

“Hey, you don’t have to worry. I’m positive he will leave us alone the rest of the class. I promise.”

God, why did he have to make things so difficult? When Jungkook spoke the words, “I promise,” they’d been so earnest. He meant them. Here he was trying to turn the tables and be your knight, instead of you being his. It would have worked, but what he didn’t know was that you weren’t worried about Mr. Choi. Not really.

No one could tear you down further than you were able to do to yourself.

He was still waiting for the answer that you would never give. You turned to face forward in your chair and tried to forget the ripple of sadness that moved over his face. The cost of your stubbornness suddenly felt too high. No matter how it made you feel though, you refused to look over in his direction.

An awkward chasm had built between the two of you. Mostly, well, obviously it was all because of you. You figured Jungkook would eventually stop looking at you. You prayed he would stop. Every time he did it your body became painfully aware of his gaze, and the longing it held for you to acknowledge him. And every time you remained facing front. You no longer could pretend to focus, however, and that seemed to be all the signs Jungkook needed to know you were in some way paying attention.

Your notebook that’d been left unattended on the desk became his private art museum. The doodles started off silly and slowly morphed into small faces and objects that held impressive detail. You tried your best to ignore it; his arm practically took up most of the space on your desk. The angle forced him to shoulder into your space to the point that if you did finally turn to look at him you’d run inches away from his cheek.

You were doing your best to pay attention to whatever your teacher was doing at the front. Your eyes watched as a wave of hands went up to answer questions you’d never heard. Yours kept sliding back down to the latest doodle he was making. The latest one he was working on had forced Jungkook to move further inland on your notepad. His forearm getting dangerously close to having to rest in your lap.

It continued like this the remainder of class. For all the effort you’d put in the last half hour of pretending he wasn’t there, Jungkook shattered it within seconds.

He’d repositioned himself with each new doodle he started. His shoulder wedged itself against yours and his forearm had completely taken up what little space was left on your desk. You were trying very hard to not pay attention to how said forearm was dangerously close to your chest. There was no hiding the redness of your cheeks.

Without thinking, you whipped your head to look at him and almost yelled. You knew he was close, but nothing prepared you for this.

“Excuse me,” you whispered, voice incredulous.

Jungkook turned to look at you and...was he pouting? His eyes played up on the childish quality as he turned to you and batted his eyes.

“Can I help you?”

“Ugh, can I help you? Do you need paper or something?”

“I have paper right here. Thanks.”

Jungkook patted the notepad with the end of his pen. Satisfied with his answer he turned his attention back to his latest artistic endeavor.

“You know this is my desk. Right?”

“I like to think of it more like our desk. Sharing a space like we shared music.”

“Ya, Jungkook. You realize you blackmailed me into using my ipod.”

Jungkook feigned shock. His mouth dropping open and his eyes brows going too high up into his hairline. The entire scene was exaggerated and ridiculous. The scene forced you to roll your lips against your teeth to keep from smiling. The effort it took to hide your grin wasn’t unnoticed by Jungkook, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that’d been his goal all along.

“Blackmail sounds so crass. I like to think of it as bargaining.”

“So we agree it’s called blackmail, then.”

The theatrics of his face dropped into a serious stare that left his face completely blank. Void of all emotion except the annoyance that drew a heavy frown from his face. It was stupidly cute and this time you did allow yourself to smile. Your fingers reached out to grab one of his puffed out cheeks and gave it a sweet pinch, like a grandmother, and cooed in his direction.

“Oooooh Jungkookie, don’t frown. We’ve all gotta be wrong sometimes.”

He playfully nipped at your hand to make you snatch it away. It took everything in you not to make a sound at his sudden movement. Your mouth hung open in an awkward smile-shout as you brought your handle against your chest.

“I think you’re misinterpreting the facts here. Maybe you hit your head on a small pebble or something when you fell in the mud.”

“You mean when you pulled me in.”

He shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “I don’t think I recall any force being used yesterday. You just fell on my chest trying to take advantage of me in my time of need.”

Now it was your turn to look deadpanned in his direction. Jungkook didn’t try to hide his wicked smile, however, and the cage of butterflies that were housed in your gut were released all over again.

“Your appa must be a lawyer. It’d explain why you’re so good at bullshitting.”

“CEO, actually. But I would say you’re close. They are also full of shit.”

You weren’t sure what to say to this omission about his father. Underneath the sarcasm felt like a heavy chasm that spoke of the death of a relationship. Your curiosity threatened to get the best of you, but you decided to just throw it away. Filing it away inside a little folder you’d made for little known facts about him.

The bell rang and the mass of bodies in class all began to rise from their seats. All of them eager to rush from the classroom and do whatever plans they’d made to enjoy their little bit of freedom. You were reaching for your bookbag when Jungkook’s hand was just there. A part of you worried he’d decided to play a game of keep away, or something that fit his playful mood, Instead, he placed it down on the desk.

“Oh, thank you, Jungkook.”

God. Why were you staring? Why was he staring?

The room was still filled with the small display of chaotic teenage energy. Most of them had already filed out of the classroom, while some were still putting things away. Honor students were arguing with the teacher about markings he’d left on papers. Small groups of friends chatting happily as they moved in tight clusters through the door. So much was going on around you, and yet the only person you were aware of was him.

“You’re welcome. Have a good lunch, Y/N.”

The playful air that’d been around him had completely disappeared. This boy who stood before you now was more reminiscent of when you’d first met than the boy you’d grown to like. What had made him grow so distant?

“You too, Kookie.”

It slipped out. You couldn’t stop yourself. He’d already started to walk away in his retreat. As soon as his pet name you’d given him hit his ears he completely stopped moving. His head whipped around to glance at you with that devilish grin raised high on his cheeks.

“Kookie? Are you calling me a snack?”

If your eyes could’ve gotten any wider, they would’ve left your skull. The embarrassment was hot on your cheeks and you knew Jungkook would tease you without mercy for the slip up. By the look in his eyes you could tell he was never going to let this go. Not ever. He would be too happy to remind you of this until the day you died. Or until graduation. Whichever came first.

This time you scooped up your bookbag and snatched your book off the desk clutching them to your chest. In your haste to grab them and go, your knee collided with the edge of the desk, but you’d worry about that possible bruise later. You just needed to flee before Jungkook got any closer.

“No, no. It was an accident.”

“You called me a snack by accident?”

You were backing up towards the safety of the open hallway. Your shoulders shrugging too high and your laugh too high-pitched in your attempt to play it cool.

“No snack nicknames here. It was just a slip of the tongue. I must just be hungry, ya know.”

“Are you hungry for me?”

Oh, he was intolerable sometimes. It didn’t matter how flustered he made you. A part of you knew his endless teasing was growing on you. You liked it, and the sane part of you wondered if you’d gone crazy.

“Ya, Jungkook-”

“I think you mean, Kookie,” he cut in.

Jungkook held a single finger up to silence you. He’d stopped moving towards you and let out a laugh as you tried to swat his hand down. He looked so much happier than he did moments ago. That alone made his teasing at your expense worth it.

“No I mean, Jungkook. It’s the name your parents gave you.” You stated, proud that your voice sounded more stable than you felt. “I’m gonna go eat my lunch now. You should do the same and I’ll...see you later.”

You waited for him to argue. To continue to make comments in passing to keep your face rosy and flushed. He surprised you by just standing there in silence. His smile wide on his face and eyes looking at you like you’d held the moon. A look you weren’t used to and made you unsure how to respond.

You started to walk back towards the door and found yourself disappointed when he didn’t follow. You sent him an awkward wave as your arms still held onto your things from your desk. Jungkook showed his amusement by giving you a wave in return.

“See you later, Y/N.”

At his words you turned on your heel and headed out towards the courtyard. No longer eager to eat your lunch that you’d packed. Your mind replayed his words and knew, without a doubt, he would keep his word.

—————-

Lunch went by as quickly as it came. Instead of eating your lunch with friends, you’d opted for sulking in the auditorium. Absentmindedly taking small bits off your food as you considered what had happened between Jungkook and you.

There was flirting there. You may be a little delusional, but you weren’t delusional about this. It was obvious to anyone who witnessed it and yet you tried to deny its existence at every turn. Of course, you knew why.

It just didn’t make logical sense. You were two opposites that shouldn’t be in the least bit interested in the other. Well, that didn’t really seem correct when it came to Jungkook. He was attractive to everyone and probably even inanimate objects. But you...you just couldn’t see yourself that way. You’d only ever had one relationship in your life and it had been short-lived and in the third grade.

Throwing what little was left of your sandwich back inside it’s little brown coffin, you removed yourself from your spot. A huff left you as you reached out to pick up your mess and started to hop back down the steps one-by-one.

You weren’t sure what walking around was going to do. For the hundredth time since this day started, you were lost in your own head. The only thing you knew for certain was that you’d hoped to run into him again. A thought came to you that maybe, just this day, he’d shown up in the school's cafeteria.

You could think of a million excuses for why you’d need to go into the cafeteria and it wouldn’t be weird. Just the thought of not coming off weird, while most certainly being weird, made you beam at your own creativity.

You’d reached the last step and we’re crossing the field when you noticed, on the other side, the very boy you were looking for. He was alone and sitting under the shade of the only tree next to the amphitheater. His back against the bark and a knee drawn up to give his notepad a place to perch. Whatever he was writing, drawing, or formulating held his interest and refused to let him look up.

All your previous bravado deflated in a second. It would be harder to deny you weren’t actively seeking him out if you went to him now. But, who said that you wanted too?

Grabbing the strap of your book bag tight, you started back on your mission. Your legs made quick work across the field. It wasn’t until there was only a few feet left between you that he looked up. His brow still furrowed in tight creases of concentration as he decided if you were a friend or foe. Your feet almost tripped over themselves when he smiled at you.

“Y/N!” He called happily. “What brings you over here?”

“I came looking for my snack.”

The surprise on his face made your bold choice of a response worth it. Jungkook, being who he was, quickly recovered and set his notebook and pencil down beside him. He placed his arms casually on his propped up leg and leaned forward as if he was about to tell you a secret.

“Well, you found me. Why did you come looking for me? Really.”

You tried to think quickly of what to say. The idea of telling him the truth, that you’d just wanted to see him, felt painfully honest and might press him to ask for you to explain. How could you explain that in the short time you’d met him he was both the most interesting and infuriating man you’d ever met. But he was also the most beautiful, and had a delicate softness under his hard exterior that you were growing to love. He was basically the perfect description of the onion from Shrek.

An idea clicked in your head and your hands quickly moved inside your bag and produced another brown bag.

“I wanted to come see if you’d eaten. I had some spare kimchi rice ball’s my omma made.”

You extended the bag out to him. Your eyes locked together as you waited for him to either accept it or deny it. Jungkook surprised you by leaning forward and taking it gently from you. It took some effort, but he crossed his legs -his bad one in an awkward position - and plopped the bag down between his legs.

You moved to sit beside him in the grass and took your book bag off your shoulder and into your lap. You watched as he moved to open the bag and peered cautiously inside.

“It’s not a bomb,” you chided.

“I never know with you.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile spreading like wildfire across your lips. Jungkook was so charismatic it felt inevitable and fighting against it was futile. He took a large bite of the rice ball and practically swooned. His eyes had fallen shut and a ridiculous chanting of endless “Mhm’s” had started rising up around you.

“Should I leave you two alone?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open and for a moment you were worried maybe you did pull him out of some weird food ritual. His eyes were blank and then, all at once, he was back to being his usual animated self. The hand that held the rice ball shaking in your direction before shoving what was left inside his mouth.

“This is unbelievably delicious.” He mumbled around his food. “You said your omma made these?”

“Yup!”

You’d said it in English just to dramatically pop the P at the end. Extending out your own kind of dramatics to match Jungkook’s. You leaned your hands back into the grass and noticed Jungkook watch your every move as you did.

“Is your omma married?”

Your face fell into a deadpan stare as you replied, “Seriously? Of course her and my appa are still married, you creep.”

“If you can cook like your omma, Y/N I’m willing to lend you my amazing tutoring services. All for the low price of making things as delicious as this.”

He was already mid-way through shoving the second rice ball in his mouth. His head tilted back to drop it down. A piece of rice must have dislodged itself from its balled shape, because he erupted in a coughing fit. You couldn’t help but laugh as you handed him your water.

“I think I’ll steer clear of rice treats. Just to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

Jungkook was about to lift the bottle up to his lips and stopped. His eyes falling on you with a playful glare. You held your hands up in mock surrender as you leaned forward. Your hands clap together to get pieces of grass and soil from your hands.

While he drank the water you’d offered up the two of you fell into companionable silence. You didn’t mind waiting and Jungkook was happy that you did. When he’d finished with the bottle, he set it down beside him. His hand moving like a flopping fish in your direction to make you give him something that you’d had no idea he’d asked for.

“Come on. Let’s see your math homework.”

“For what?”

“To start your tutoring. Duh.”

You hated how cute he’d made the word sound. The way his lips smiled around it and left him beaming at you like a little kid on Christmas.

“Can we pass? We just left the class and I hate math. A lot.”

Jungkook tsked you but didn’t look disappointed.

“You can’t get better at something if you give up on it. Luckily for you, you’ve got the best person in the subject to tutor you.”

“For a fee,” you pointed out.

“All the best things come with a price. I’m most definitely one of them. Now. Book.”

His hand movements were more controlled now. His fingers simply waved once -twice- for you to hurry it up and place what he’d asked in his hand. You really didn’t want any part of this. The thought was sweet, but when you said you hated math you meant it. So yeah, maybe you were grumbling a little as you reached inside your book bag and taking a little longer than was necessary to hand it over.

Jungkook took it from you in one smooth motion and had it open to the spot previously in class. All your homework problems you’d left unfinished glaring against the white of the page. His eyes were already scanning over what little problems you’d written down. A clicking noise from his closed mouth reminding you why exactly you hadn’t finished more of it. The reason was sitting right in front of you.

His hand flicked back out and he held it open. His eyes never lifted off the page as he demanded, “Pencil.”

“What the heck? Why am I supplying everything.”

“Cause I’m supplying myself,” he shot back. His hands taking the pencil you handed over to him. “Plus, I also can’t seem to find any in my bag.”

“You didn’t even look.”

Jungkook gave a graceful shrug. His attention was fully engrossed in the problems. You weren’t ready for how cute he looked. How adorable those concentration creases in his forehead made him look, even deadly serious, with his fingers tapping the pencil absentmindedly on the paper. When he figured out what was missing from the equation he quickly erased and reconfigured everything on the page.

You were staring intently at him, both because his angle’s were ridiculously handsome but also, the way the sun fell down on him here, peaking through the trees, felt like magic. It was hard to believe the universe was more than just molecules and that luck was thrown out randomly. If it was, maybe you’d caught some.

Your thoughts were running wild and your concentration was no longer in the safe zone. Maybe that’s why when he finally looked up from the notebook and found you staring he’d smiled. Not his teasing one. Or the condescending either. This smile was soft like a secret, and directed only at you. \

“See something you like?”

His voice was gentle in his playfulness. As if he wanted to take the cautionary approach in case you were spooked.

“Maybe I do.”

A smile of your own spread to match his and Jungkook wasn’t surprised. He was just happy, and it was a lovely sight to see. He looked away from you with his hand moving up to smooth out the hair on the back of his neck. He flicked the pencil down on the notebook and brought it forward for you to see.

“Let’s get back to this. I’ll be honest with you. It’s pretty bad. You missed a whole line on the third problem that left you with an incomplete answer. Not to mention,” he lifted up the notebook and motioned towards the whole page, “Where is all the rest of the homework?”

Jungkook’s voice was filled with the beginnings of laughter. Not specifically towards you, but just the blatant fact you did not care. You gave him your best nonchalant shrug. In reality, you did care. It bothered you it wasn’t finished.

Your fingers were digging in the grass and ripping some of it up and throwing it out into the field.

“I had a hard time concentrating last night. Plus, if I’m being honest math has always been the hardest subject for me.”

“And that is why I’m going to help you.”

“For a fee,” you reminded him.

“I’ll teach you the easiest way I know how to do these and I promise you, you’ll be flying through these problems in no time.”

The sincerity in his voice was evident. Jungkook really believed it and he wanted you to believe it too. You just couldn’t understand why and you found yourself speaking your mind.

“Why are you wanting to help me?”

It was his turn to shrug his shoulders. His face went blank as he looked at you one last time before he looked away. Whatever he was looking at he wasn’t really seeing. He just needed someplace else to look than the person he was talking to you. You did it plenty of times yourself.

Whatever he’d decided on to say had caused his shoulders to square. Determined that whatever he needed to say he would make sure it meant something.

“I like spending time with you.”

The smile you’d worn completely shattered as you stared at him. The butterflies rushed up and up until they trapped themselves in your throat. Jungkook’s admission was basically three words dropped away from just saying he liked you.

This surprising admission should’ve been enough to make yourself not care who you saw walking. Or care when he stopped, his small mob with him, and start gesturing at his imaginary watch. His fingers rubbing together for money owed.

It was worse when Jungkook looked back and took notice. Even worse when he looked back at you with questions swirling in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Your eyes looked down to the safety of your hands. The way they were helplessly fidgeting back in the grass and tearing it apart like a miniature tantrum was brewing inside you. You hated that after all this time, you let Lee Kwon upset you by making you feel embarrassed about your dad. That he felt the need to tell everyone the business deal between his father and yours. How every time he told it he’d turned him more and more into a villain of his own misfortune.

Without a reason why you took back your notebook from Jungkook and shoved it inside your bag. You were ready to leave. You didn’t want to explain, but you knew Jungkook wouldn’t let you just leave without one.

He reached out and his hand gently wrapped around your wrist to stop you. There was no force. Nothing that hinted that he would keep you there if you didn’t want to be kept. Looking at him felt harder. His genuine worry almost threatened to let the tears from your frustration spill forward.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head. Your vision dragging away from him and back to the retreating back of the sociopath, Lee Kwon.

You didn’t try to shake him off. You actually felt comforted by his worrisome touch. The way he leaned in closer as if he would pull you into his arms at any moment. As much as you wanted that to happen, you knew it wouldn’t happen. A deep sigh had built up in your chest and you released it while you looked back at him.

“Look. Eventually, I know you’re going to hear about it: my dad, I mean.”

“That’s kind of odd high school kids would talk about someone’s appa.”

“You and me both,” you agreed. “But Kwon’s dad is a banker who doesn’t believe in client confidentiality. So he tells his son about his day over dinner and-“

“And he decides to bring it to school to make your life miserable,” Jungkook finished for you.

He understood and didn’t need you to simplify it anymore. His hand left your arm and you suddenly found yourself missing his comforting touch. It was still there, that comfort, in the way his eyes softened and he leaned in intent to listen to whatever you needed to get off your chest. You appreciated his attention, but also hated it at the same time.

“What’s your Appa’s thing?”

God. He did understand. Maybe just a little too well for your liking.

“Gambling. It started when I was in the seventh grade. At first it wasn’t anything too crazy. He’d always been able to even it out. But then he became obsessed with the idea of winning big. Kept betting on things we couldn’t afford to lose. Eventually, he bet too high and ended up losing the business he and my mom built together and our house. They had to pay the bank back.”

“A bank this dude’s Appa works at.”

“Correct. My Appa...he isn’t a bad man. He’s paid his debt and hasn’t gambled since. What good is it for me or anyone else to make him feel bad for the rest of his life?”

“I don’t get it. Why does that have to do with you, though?”

You’d wondered the same exact thing half of your adolescent life. You shrugged and looked at Jungkook wondering if maybe he’d be able to make sense of it better than you could.

“Twelve year old boys enjoy making up stories. First it was that we became so poor we lived with pigs. That's why I smelled.”

You put air quotations around smelled and Jungkook practically howled with laughter. You tried your best to show no emotion, but could feel the corner of your lips threatening to curl into a smile.

“He probably said it because you didn’t know how to wash back then and, judging from earlier, I still don’t think you do.”

You moved to playfully shove at his shoulder. A scoff of laughter leaving you even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. Jungkook was waiting for you to make a move and when you did he easily grabbed a hold of you. The feeling of intimacy, just like yesterday in the mud, was swimming back to the surface.

Your eyes looked up into his with your laughter being met with a wide grin. The way he was looking at you now made you believe in fairytales and left your lips aching to be kissed.

Before either of you could decide what to do next, the bell for the end of lunch sounded. You could hear it going off all around you, but still the two of you stayed holding each other. Your bodies close enough that if he wanted to make a move all Jungkook needed was to lean down. To say your heart dropped a little when he moved away was an understatement.

You focused on getting up from the grass. Your hands patting down your uniform as you struggle to find something not so awkward to say. You wanted to sound confident. You wanted to sound like you weren’t affected by him at all.

“Well, I’ll see you around.”

God, you sounded awkward. You turned to start heading to your next period. You closed your eyes tight and mouthed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You’d gotten a few feet away when you heard him call to you.

You turned to look back at him and found him still standing under the tree. His hands in his pockets and his eyes solely on you.

“Would you let me walk you home?”

Did he really have to ask? You’d let him walk you to the edge of a volcano. You didn’t say that, however. You wanted to play it cool, but on the inside you were screaming.

“I’d like that.”

When you turned back around to make your way to class, the memory of how his face had brightened at your reply, stayed with you. You couldn’t wait for the day to end.

_________

True to his word Jungkook waited for you after school. You couldn’t help looking for him over the countless shoulders as you walked with the sea of students towards the entrance. The hole in the pit of your stomach opened back up from the underlying dreadful thought. That he wouldn't show up. You’d be left standing there waiting for him forever. But Jungkook continued to prove your pessimism wrong.

The closer you got to the school’s gate, you were able to spot him instantly. He was leaning coolly against the gate. His bag at his feet and his cane positioned strategically out of view. If anyone just casually walked up, they would’ve never been able to tell he’d needed one. Maybe that was why he’d done it.

He looked to be searching for someone in every face that passed him. It came to an end the minute his roaming eyes found you. No longer did he appear cool and composed. His body became animated with what you could only explain as a giddiness at your oncoming presence.

By the time you reached him, Jungkook was wearing his backpack on his shoulder and his cane in his hand. He was standing and waiting for you. The happiness at being next to you was intoxicating and you could only hope you looked the same.

“It felt like I was waiting forever,” he admitted.

The two of you started in sync out the gate and turned left onto the main road.

“It felt like an eternity just to get to you. I have Mrs. Chun’s chemistry class for the last period. The classroom is pretty far.”

“Mhm, like on a planet far far away.”

Your eyes rolled up to look at him. The affection you found in the warmth of his eyes was startling, but not a surprise.

Your mom used to tell you to always be careful with smiling. It caused laugh lines. It helped make crows feet. That smiling was a woman’s secret enemy she never knew about when it came to aging. She told you over and over to be careful who or what you wasted smiles on. Smiling up at him now, Jungkook was definitely worth it just to see him respond with his own.

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only, like, one planet away.”

A soft hush of laughter left him as he looked away. His gaze roaming around the street signs and their multiple names before looking back at you.

“Are we going the right way to your place? I just realized I never even asked for your address.”

“Does it matter? I mean, with your leg and all.” You hated yourself for spoiling the moment by bringing it up. You knew it was a touchy subject when it came to his leg for Jungkook. So you weren’t surprised to see that spark of warmth fade ever so slightly from his face. His smile wilted at the edges of his lips before it all but disappeared. “You know I’m sorry I said anything. I shouldn’t have. I mean obviously you know yourself and your limits. You wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t able to do it.”

You were rambling. You were fidgeting and waving your arms around while you talked, because why not? You were doing everything else besides hyperventilating at this point. All you knew was that you felt like a jerk for even bringing it up. When all you wanted was to know he was okay.

You were so lost in the space inside your head and worrying that you didn’t notice him laughing at you. You were mid-arm swing. Inhaling for another round of mouth babble to start asking for forgiveness when he waved for you to stop. A finger tip landing on your lips to quiet the words in your throat by shocking you into silence.

“You really don’t have to apologize so much, Y/N. It’s alright. I understand why you would ask.”

You were tempted to lick his finger away, but it felt too intimate. But so was a finger on the lips. Before you could decide your next move from your internal dilemma, Jungkook solved it for you. His finger detaching from your lips as quickly as it’d come.

“No, you don’t. I’m just worried about you. I know I should trust you to know yourself better, but-“ you did an over exaggerated shrug as you finished: “I’m a worrier.”

“I’m flattered, I have you to worry over me.”

You knew he was teasing you and you couldn’t have been happier. You preferred it to making him sad. Plus, he was back to looking at you like you controlled the stars and oh, what a wonderful look it was.

“You should be. I’ve only got so much extra space up here.”

You tapped your head for added effect and were rewarded with a soft laugh that was followed up by a smile. God, you could get used to this.

“I guess I need to work harder to take up more space.”

“Please, no. Let’s not do that. I need my sanity.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing so well at flirting. Usually, your sarcasm won out and you resorted to awkward winking, but this was definitely an improvement.

“I’m not sure you have much of that left either,” he joked.

You tried to hide your laughter with a scoff. You knew you were failing miserably at being offended. Your mouth fighting too hard to ward off a smile as you playfully bumped your shoulder into his arm. Jungkook was ready for you with his cane digging into the sidewalk to give him extra stability.

“Ya, if I do finally go crazy it’ll be your fault, specifically.”

“I think you’d have a hard time proving that in court. My counter argument would be pretty persuasive.”

You looked at him in shock.

“Court? Wow...that escalated quickly.”

Jungkook nodded his reply. He stopped in front of a bookstore and pointed at a manga in the window. You weren’t too familiar with the title, but it's a cover you’d seen plenty of.

“It would happen as quickly as an infection from a zombie’s bite. It would seem all slow until suddenly you jumped up and tried to eat me.”

You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face as you glanced at him and back down to the manga. A part of you wondering if it was one he’d read before or just wanted to use to make his point.

“Question: why are we together during a zombie outbreak?”

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I’ll be walking you home. I’ll try and save you and while feeling all heroic about it, I won’t even realize you’d been bitten until it’s too late.”

The two of you moved away from the bookstore window and began to walk back down the sidewalk. Your mind trying to dissect what he was trying to say, but all it left you with was imagining a zombie version of you trying to take a bite out of him.

“You must watch too much Walking Dead.”

“It’s a good show,” he shrugged.

“Did you know that there’s actually a fungus out there that’s sort of like a zombie infection. It’s called Ophiocordyceps. It basically infects the host and within nine days of infection it takes control of the host's body movements.”

You were still walking and looking around while you spoke. Your fingers running gently over a row of gardenia’s that were planted in carefully placed pots in front of someone’s home. You were aware Jungkook had left your side by the sudden coldness of his absence. You turned to look for him and found him standing a foot away from you. A mixture of astonishment and amusement etched on his face.

“Why do you know something like that? Actually, how do you know something like that?”

His eyes were dancing with curiosity as he moved to fall back into step beside you.

“Let’s just say I like to read. I like strange things and facts. And science is full of both facts and strange things.”

With each small statement you held up a finger. When you ended on the third and final small fact about yourself, you wiggled all three fingers at him. The motion earned you a giant smile that only seemed to grow wider as his head shook slightly back and forth.

“You are the strangest girl.”

“How am I strange?”

“You just told me about a body snatching fungus,” he chuckled. “What other girl is going to do that?”

Jungkook had a point. A very strong point. For all your new found confidence when it came to him, you couldn’t keep the heat from rushing to your face. Or the back of your hands from trying to hide it.

“I would tell you to stop being embarrassed but it’s cute when you blush.”

The two of you came to a complete stop at the crosswalk. The red light blinking to tell you two it wasn’t safe to cross. It felt like a weird metaphor for this moment in your life.

Stop! Do not keep staring back at him as if he strung every star in the sky. Stop! Don’t continue to entertain the thought that he looked like he wanted to kiss you or that you desperately wanted to kiss him back. Stop! Even though you already knew it was too late.

You had plans. It’d all been strategically mapped out in your head until you could read it forwards and backwards to yourself. Do your best to graduate high enough in the percentage range to get into a decent college. Get a degree for a job, it didn’t matter what it was, that made enough money to help your parents. For all your careful planning, none of it had included him and yet, the universe had you both standing at a stoplight looking at each other like there couldn’t be any other reality where you weren’t meant to end up right here. Standing at this exact light and looking at one another like no one else existed.

Luckily, the light changed signaling for you to begin to cross. The mass of bodies that had accumulated behind you began to push you both forward and, reluctantly, broke your gaze free from him. Your brain was scrambling to pick up a conversation you weren’t sure how to resurrect. Your mind too busy daydreaming all the scenarios you would’ve taken in different realities if you were braver. Clearing your throat, you did your best to wipe the thought clean and focus on your current reality.

“If it makes you feel better,” you started your body turning to consider him as you spoke, “the study was only ever done on the tropical ants that resided in the forest. The actual effects and what it could do to humans has never been studied. Yet. But I’m willing to bet it would take longer than nine days for it to take hold of a grown adult's nervous system and larger batches.”

He was looking at you in inspired mock horror. You weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Or if your unusual fact telling about zombie fungus had completely killed the mood. You got your answer in an excited hush of, “Holy shit it’s like you’re writing your own super villain backstory.”

A smile erupted on your face as you playfully rolled your eyes away from him. It was hard to miss the mischievous glint in his eyes or the way his whole face still swam with the playfulness that lurked underneath his teasing. Jungkook was so alive. A force that required you to hang on or else you would get swept up in him without even realizing it’d happen.

You wondered if this is what falling in love felt like.

“I would make a terrible villain. I’m too clumsy,” you stated. Your weak attempt at downplaying yourself being met with a stern look.

“How clumsy are we talking?”

“Hmm, I would say, ‘Kronk giving the llama potion to Kuzco,’ kind of clumsy.”

A hiss of air whistled between Jungkook’s teeth. A mock look of worry on his face as his hands moved to reposition his bag.

“Can we call that clumsy, though?”

“What else would it be?” You asked.

You could feel the lines grouping together in your forehead just trying to figure out what he was getting at. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in any rush to answer you. The two of you walking a few feet before he must have decided you’d waited long enough for him to reply.

“I always thought Kronk was stupid throughout the whole movie, but really, he was just a good person. He’s a good guy tasked to do a bad thing and he just wants to make people happy. Even if it means doing the wrong thing.”

You wanted to ask if maybe he was talking more about himself than The Emperor’s New Groove at this point. He faced forward with his brow creased in deep thought and whatever it was that held his thoughts didn’t appear to be anything good.

“Or,” you started, voice light enough to drag him out of his head, “it’s just a kids movie.”

Sure, Jungkook was looking at you, but he didn’t seem to actually see you. Somewhere inside his head, he was reenacting or seeing something that ate up all the sunshine that lived in his bones. It felt silly to feel a sense of panic about something that might not even be true. And yet, you couldn’t stop the awful thought that sadness was trying to make a home inside his soul.

Without giving it another thought you reached up and pretended to wipe away a pretend rogue eyelash from his cheek. The suddenness of your fingers brushing on his skin jolted him from wherever his thoughts had held him hostage and back into the present. His eyes darted around your face and his own hand came up to gently take yours.

“Sorry.” Your words came out breathy as you struggled not to focus on how he was practically holding your hand. “There was an eyelash. The wind must have blown it away.”

The earlier sadness that’d hollowed out his eyes was gone. What replaced it was one of knowing you weren’t telling the truth. His head tilted slightly down to inspect your empty finger of the proof you knew your words didn’t have whose eyes sparked with his usual teasing and something else. Something that left a different kind of heat flooding your cheeks.

“I’m sure there was.”

Reluctantly, you removed your hand from his and continued to walk. It only took him a couple seconds to fall effortlessly into step beside you making you wonder if his leg was as injured as it seemed.

A warm silence swelled around you as you continued to walk. A comfortable pace setting between you as he looked in the windows of every store you passed in between the changing streets. He never once asked if you were getting close to your home or how much farther it might be. It was like the moment on the back of the bus. The two of you enjoyed that the other was there without ever feeling the need to say it.

But you knew it was soon coming to an end. In only a few blocks, you’d be home and your fairytale moment would end. You were struggling on how to break this, more to yourself than Jungkook, when you noticed he pulled a Nikon camera from the side of his bag. He was squinting through the lens and taking photos of something up ahead. Of the landscape or the people and buildings that framed it you weren’t sure.

He must have sensed your silent question as he snapped a few more quick photos before turning to acknowledge you.

“Y/N, I have a serious question for you.”

It was hard to keep the amusement off your face as you both came to a stop. The place felt random, but it was anything but that to Jungkook. Whatever he saw in this space you both inhabited must have felt like magic to him.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Do you think we have enough time for me to take some photos?”

It felt like such an odd request. Why should anyone have to ask to do something that they loved? Jungkook didn’t fully say he loved doing it, but no one spent that much money on a nice camera if it wasn’t something they enjoyed doing. The look on his face was just an added bonus of proving your answer meant something. One that made you wonder why he felt like he needed your permission at all. And then it hit you: he wanted to stay in your company while he did it.

You considered teasing him, but he looked too vulnerable standing there. You weren’t even sure if he was breathing. A pleading in his eyes that reminded you of a child asking a mother to go on just one more ride before they were forced to go home. You considered giving him the bad news that you had more than homework to do when you arrived home. But that could come another day. On this day, with him, you could spare an hour just to make him happy.

Instead of coming right out and letting him know you’d made up your mind, you decided to play coy. A soft, “Hmm,” hummed around you as you looked everywhere but him. Your index finger tapping on your lips for dramatic flare.

"Ok," You shrugged. "I think I have some free time I could spare."

His eyes squinted in question as you moved to stand in front of him. The movement simply to let a couple go by in peace, but somehow placed you closer in front of him. Jungkook’s gaze was roaming your face to find an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“You planned on saying yes this whole time, didn’t you. You were just trying to make me suffer waiting for you to answer.”

You gasped in pretend shock and did your best not to smile at his accusations. By the growing smile on his face you knew you were failing miserably.

“Me?! I would never do such a thing.”

“You’re secretly a sadist!”

Jungkook’s smile only widened as a scoff of disbelief passed from your lips. Your own smile grew to match his own when his hands lifted up his camera. Seconds later the sound of the shutter clicked and you felt your soul leave your body. The earlier playfulness was swiftly swept in your own dark cloud and the idea you probably looked hideous in that photo.

“Oh god, Jungkook delete it,” you pleaded.

Your hands were reaching out to grab tightly at this shirt. Your fingers curled in the white fabric until there was a small chance you could tear holes. The camera in question was being held far from your reach. His hand easily held it above his shoulder as he used one hand to steady you against him. You’d invaded his space without even realizing, but you had no time to be embarrassed. Not when he had a picture of you forever saved on that camera.

“Why would I delete it?”

He was his usual amused self you could tell, but he wasn’t egging you on. His question was out of curiosity. His own eyes brimming with it as you considered keeping one hand tightly wound in his shirt and the other to jump up and reach for the camera.

“Because Jungkook I’m not cute. You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t ruin the camera.”

All his earlier playfulness drained from his face and what was left made you instantly feel like you were about to be scolded. His hand that had firmly planted itself on your hip was achingly apparent now as his fingers gripped you closer to him. Your own awareness at how close you actually were to his chest made your lips feel dry. Your tongue flicked out to wet them and god, it took everything in you not to focus on the fact his eyes had followed the movement.

“Y/N, why would you say that? You shouldn’t let anyone talk down about you, and you shouldn’t do it to yourself either. You’re beautiful.”

He spoke like it was a fact. A statement that not just the two of you knew, but the universe did too. And what were you supposed to say back? While you were held captive to the thought he was still looking from you to your lips. The determination for you to understand his words and believe them setting soft lines in his face. You tried to keep looking at him, but under his watchful gaze you couldn’t keep yourself from fidgeting. Your eyes moved down the line of his body until it landed on the tops of your shoes.

You weren’t sure what to say back. Thank you didn’t fit here. It didn’t feel like a moment where he was trying to boost your confidence the way a friend did. This felt more like someone who noticed something in you while you hadn’t been looking.

So instead of saying anything remotely clever back you began to dislodge yourself from him. Your hands releasing their hold on his shirt and forcing his hand off of your hip. Standing there with only inches between you, your body was achingly aware that his hand was gone. It’s weight leaving a burning of longing to have it back forced your hands into your pockets and your body turning away from him. You waited for him to start moving back down the road. The motion forced him to either join you or stay where he was.

“We should get going before we run out of time.”

You hated yourself for dismissing him. For not being bolder like you’d promised yourself earlier in the day. It would’ve been the perfect time to thank him. To tell him how you were pretty sure there wasn’t a soul on earth more attractive than him, but that what made him beautiful is what he refused to let people see. The soft tone of his voice still singing along to the songs on the back of the bus had ended up being an unspoken lullaby when you’d gone to sleep.

A part of you considered turning on your heel and telling him this. To tell him that you saw him; actually saw him for who he was and not who he felt like he needed to be. But you just kept moving forward and weren’t surprised when Jungkook found a steady rhythm back beside you.

The both of you stayed quiet. This time it felt more forced than the easiness of earlier. Like the two of you had so many missed starts at creating a conversation that neither of you could understand why it ended.

You watched him as he focused on the area around him. His camera training on an old couple who sat waiting for the next bus. The husband had clutched his wife’s arm close to his side. In his hands he was peeling what appeared to be an orange and with each freshly peeled slice, he gave one to her and one to himself. No one knew what they were conversing about, but it didn’t matter. To them, they were the only two people there. The wholesomeness of the moment made you wonder what they were like back in their youth.

You listened to the flutter of the shutter click repeatedly. His hand twisting on the lens to bring it in and out of focus, while he himself remained deadly focused on capturing their moment in time. You were curious how the photos would turn out in the end and wished there was a way to show them how their love translated on film.

You were in the middle of watching Jungkook turn his attention to a couple birds inside a cherry blossom when he spoke.

“Thank you for agreeing to walk with me while I do this.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jungkook.”

A sad smile curled his lips as he dropped his camera down in front of him. His thumb skimmed over the buttons to quickly go through what he’d previously taken. The last one he landed on made his entire face light up and you felt a pang of jealousy at what it could be. How you wish he would look at you like that.

“Maybe, but I feel like I do. Ever since my accident, my appa hasn’t been able to force me into things. For once, I get to just do what I want. Sucks it only had to cost me a friend and a leg to get some freedom.”

Your feet had carried you to the next stop sign. The sudden halt in moving forced you to look at him, really look at Jungkook, like you’d never seen him before.

He wasn’t looking at you now. His ears a screaming red while his fingers danced over every part of the camera. His eyes roaming over its edges and flicking too fast through pictures to actually even be looking at them. For the first time since you’d met him Jungkook was scared to look at you. Scared for what you might see if you did.

Looking at him now, you couldn’t have been happier to indulge him. You’d indulge him for the rest of your life if he’d let you.

“Well, I’m happy to be of service.”

You mentally smacked yourself at your choice of words. Jungkook, however, was backing to his beaming self as he finally glanced in your direction. His eyeing ate up your embarrassment as it was your turn to face forward. Your feet hopping in place as you waited for the light to flash it was okay to walk.

“I’m supposed to be at physical therapy right now.”

“Wait, what?”

The light was flickering finally for you to all move. Your feet moved to carry you forward unintentionally, just to keep with the flow of traffic, as Jungkook gave you a small shrug for an answer.

“Did you say you were supposed to be at physical therapy?”

Another shrug and another long pause with no answer. It seemed he had been waiting for you to round the corner onto a quieter pedestrian free street before he replied, “After school. I have appointments almost everyday and I never go.”

“But why? It’s meant to help you get better, isn’t it?”

“Get better to do what, exactly?” He huffed. Jungkook’s entire body took on a broodier tone. His cane practically dug small holes with each press into the pavement. “Who even says that I can get better?”

“Well, doctors for one,” you pointed out. “I’m sure they wouldn’t have signed you up for it if they didn’t believe you could get better.”

“If I was going to get better it would’ve happened already.”

It felt like walking on eggshells. This side of Jungkook was the boy you’d met on his first day of class. His guarded demeanor up on high alert, as he kept his gaze stoically forward and his chin held high.

“You’re not an idiot, Jungkook. You know injuries take time to heal from. It doesn't just magically happen overnight.”

“Who says that I want to get better?”

The coldness in his words forced your legs to stop working. Your feet were unable to move as he continued to push on ahead of you. His own movements became slower now as the long walk was beginning to take its toll on his leg. He knew you weren’t beside him anymore and still he tried to keep pushing forward, before eventually he had no other choice but to turn around.

The look on his face was as defiant as ever. Underneath that defiance was a sadness so raw you only wanted to reach out and hold him. If just to remind him that he was seen and that his pain mattered.

That’s when the realization hit you.

“Unless you feel like you deserve this.”

The stone façade he’d worked so hard to create in the past few minutes began to chip. His eyes being the first to show by the soft uprising of tears that you were right. Somewhere deep inside Jungkook believed that he deserved what happened to him. That this was punishment for losing a friend at his own hands, even if it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

The tears that threatened to spill never did, but they were there. They floated dangerously at the surface of Jungkook’s control and he refused to let go. The rawness of his pain hit you and all you wanted was to help ease it. You weren’t sure if he would accept any kind of affection, even in a small hug. So your only option was to move closer to him. As close as he would allow without pushing you away.

With each step you could see his jaw clenching tighter; pulsing like he was fighting from saying something wicked to send you skirting back. He was just as afraid of what you were about to do as you were at being the one to do it.

When the tips of your shoes nudged against his you drew your eyes up until they landed on his. A spark of something; fear or uncertainty, flashed in his eyes. Was he expecting you to be cruel? To yell at him to stop being a child and to grow up? How much had he already heard those words shouted by adults? How long had he been standing there like this, in a world full of grief, and no one there to pull him out to breathe before the next wave suffocated him once more.

You weren’t sure if it was you or if what you said would matter, but it was important he heard it. It was important he knew that this was okay too.

“You got to forgive yourself sometime, Jungkook.”

The words themselves were simple. Simple and spoken between you as if there was a secret meant only for the two of you to hear. All you really wanted was for him to feel the sincerity of your words for him to know it was okay. Okay to feel sad, unsure, and helpless at times when all the world felt against you. It was okay to not know your first steps and okay to take those first steps when you were ready. Eventually, we needed to forgive, if only to give ourselves the chance to heal and move on.

His gaze was still misty with unshed tears and still they refused to fall. The pain and defiance that had turned his features harsh began to soften. All that hardness he struggled to keep himself in and others out was beginning to fade and the only thing left was him. All that sunshine that you’d seen lived in his smile and echoed in his laughter that crinkled in the corners of his eyes. The way he cared for others and making them feel cared for. The softness of his singing and the way he eagerly filmed people at their most vulnerable: at their most beautiful.

It was at this moment you felt your universe shift and tip until it realigned itself. With your fingers back to holding the edges of his shirt it took everything in you not to close those final inches and hug him. Jungkook closed that distance for you instead.

His lips crashing down on your cheeks causing a soft squeak of surprise to push free from your lips. A chuckle came as he came back into view and your mind struggled to comprehend what happened.

It wasn’t a kiss on the lips but…

“Did you just kiss my cheek?”

Your hand was up to the aforementioned spot. A wicked smile wiping away all of his sadness until you weren’t sure if it had been real at all or if you’d imagined it.

“I could kiss your lips if you’d like that instead.”

If your cheeks could get any hotter you could’ve fried food on them. You felt a surge of disappointment when Jungkook took a reluctant step back from you as his eyes dropped to check the time on his phone.

“As much as I hate to say this: I have to go.”

“All of the sudden you have to go,” you huffed.

Your words felt brave, but inside your heart was thundering wildly against your chest.

“I could stay if you want?”

Smoother than expected, Jungkook slid his way back to you. His chest bumping against you making you lose your footing just enough that it forced you to grab on to his shirt. Jungkook’s own hand had moved behind your back to steady you and bring you closer to him all at once.

You playfully smacked his chest and earned a soft laugh from him. Unfortunately, you found yourself peeling away from him. Your hands grasping at the strap of your bag to keep them from reaching back out for him.

“Not a chance.”

Your reply earned a playful pout from him as he started walking backwards away from you.

“I’ll remember that, Y/N!”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to start walking the rest of the way home. You didn’t get more than a few feet before he called back to you. Your eyes found him instantly in a crowd of people that continued to pass in front of him.

“I forgot to ask: what’s your number!”

He held up a pen expecting you to come back to him and write it down presumably on his arm or hand. You didn’t see any paper and could only assume. You knew it was all just a ploy to get you to come to him. The knowledge evident by the wicked grin on his face.

“You’re a math wiz, right?” Jungkook was perplexed for a second before you started reciting your number as loud as you were willing to shout it. The wind blew it away as he no doubt struggled to listen.

“Wow! What a way to play dirty.”

“If it’s meant to be you’ll figure it out.”

And maybe that was true. Maybe you both had a chance to write your own love story like from the movies and shows you used to watch with your mom. Like Rose and Jack from Titanic or Ross and Rachel...okay...maybe more like Chandler and Monica. Or maybe you were an idiot and should’ve just gone and wrote it down. It was too late now as he was already on the other side of the street.

You were ready to walk the rest of the way kicking yourself for being so lame when you heard him call your name again. When you turned you didn’t expect him to be trotting across the road. You didn’t expect him to stop in front of you and give you another quick kiss on the cheek, this one gentler than before, with every fiber of your body remembering just how soft his lips felt.

“I could fall in love with you, ya know.”

You watched as in the same breath he hopped back across the street and couldn’t help but think you already had.

————-

Later that night you were snuggled up inside the sheets of your bed. The only thing sticking out was the current book you were reading and the top of your head.

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook the rest of the day. Your heart hammered inside your chest every time your phone chimed with a new message only to deflate when you realized it wasn’t him. You loved your friends and all, but they weren’t who you’d been looking forward to all evening.

Maybe you should’ve just gone to him and written down your number. Like a normal human being would’ve done. You just had to be clever and yell it out like a lunatic. For all you knew, you could end up with a random stranger texting you at all hours.

Your current book that you were supposed to be reading but couldn’t really read because you couldn’t focus was now face planted onto your nose. A soft groan echoing into its pages as you fought not to close it and throw it somewhere in your room. You were a hundred percent sure you’d read the same sentence a few dozen times at this point.

In the morning, you decided, you most definitely were just going to write it down. Like a sane person would’ve done. You closed your book and placed it down beside you. Your eyes roaming up to stare at your ceiling and wondering if you were ever actually going to go to sleep when your phone chimed off.

You weren’t in any hurry to look. It could just be your parents from the restaurant making sure you were in bed. It could be one of your friends asking about making plans this weekend. It was probably still everyone but Jungkook and yet…

Your curiosity got the better of you. You shuffled inside your comforter, reached an arm out to grab your phone from the nightstand, and quickly pulled it back inside. You waited for your facial ID to unlock the screen to see who or what you’d received. Your own mind hyping up the suspense of the moment until it read over a reminder text from your dad about your chores for the upcoming weekends.

You hated you’d let yourself have even a glimmer of hope. It was official. You’d ruined your chances when it came to giving out your number. A groan was creeping its way up your throat as you quickly sent back a text. You knew your chores took over almost every weekend. Even when you’d made plans with friends, you’d ended up never going.

As soon as you’d hit send you were rolling over to put your phone back on your nightstand. The shrill sound of pinging messages stopped you cold. There was no way your dad had learned to text back that fast. You laid yourself flat back against the mattress and brought the phone to hover above your face.

Y/N?

Is this the right number finally?

Hello?!!

If this is the wrong person, I’m sorry. I swear I’m not crazy. Just looking for a girl.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was beating so hard you were scared it would burst from your chest. Your eyes were still skimming over the line of text messages when another one sounded. You were so caught up in reading the next line you weren’t aware your clammy fingers had let the phone slip and it crash landed down on your face.

“Ooow!”

One hand scrambled to pick it back up off your face, while the other massaged the now swelling brim of your nose.

How many people have you texted before me?

There wasn’t a need to send a hi. To give him a coy response to continue to tease him or make him believe he’d gotten it wrong again. Your curiosity at the desperate way he seemed to have been looking for you was endearing. The thought that he’d spent so much time sending out random messages for a response, no matter how crazy he looked, felt silly but cute too.

Jungkook thought you were worth the trouble.

OH MY GOD IS IT REALLY YOU?! And maybe like... seventeen.

You snuggled deeper into your comforter as a soft giggle joined the growing smile across your face.

I’m sorry I should have just wrote it down when you offered the pen lol

It definitely would’ve made it a lot easier.

You’d asked yourself that question all evening while you’d waited for him. You bit your lips as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Unsure if you should take the chance and tell him.

“Screw it,” you whispered as you typed.

Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting forever.

Well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. This girl thought it was a good idea to shout random numbers at me 😅😂.

Your head was shaking as you tried to figure out something witty to say. You couldn’t believe you were here. Inside your comforter cave smiling at your phone like a lunatic and wondering if maybe Jungkook was doing the same. Or what was he even doing? You were getting ready to type out that exact question when your phone pinged to life.

So, ugh, on to more important matters. It read. I was thinking about your love of random facts and I think I got one for you.

Ooooooo kekeke this should be good

Do you want to know it or not?

Okay okay! Lol please tell me Kookie

You could practically feel him screaming through your phone as a sideways glance emoji was sent back in a long lined response. You wondered if you’d completely ruined his fact telling when your phone went off.

I found this article that said the chances of finding your soulmate out of 500,000,000 people was impossible. But, if you just place it to where you are, to your age group, and timing it narrows it down to a 1 in 10,000 chance. What I’m trying to get at is...I think your my 1 in 10,000

You read the message on repeat. Over and over until you were sure you’d practically memorized it front and back. You wanted to ask him for his source material. Where such an article could exist. None of that really mattered to you and how could it?

You must have spaced out because you never sent him a reply. Your thoughts were still spinning in a world all their own as you wondered if he was sitting at his desk doing homework or lying in bed. If he was inside or outside and what had made him so brave to send that message: believing you felt the same.

The vibration of the phone brought you back down to earth. You expected to see question marks or another line of, “Hello?” To have left him on read. Instead, the only thing that greeted you was a simple, Goodnight, Y/N.

This time there was no hesitation from you.

Goodnight, Jungkook

See you in the morning ?

His text felt so hopeful. A silent undertone that if you said no there was a chance you’d break him. You bit your lip as you thought about what this meant. The beginning of small promises that eventually grew into bigger ones.

I’ll meet you at the gate

You both finished up with another round of good night’s that felt like the embarrassing texting equivalent of “no you hang up! No you!” And placed your phone back on your night stand. It took forever for the sandman to finally claim you. Your dreams consisting of the magic of being Jungkook’s 1 in 10,000.

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yanderecandystore · 4 years ago

Note

Hey, I love your work alot you're an incredibly skilled writer and always look forward to seeing your notification pop up! Is it ok if I request Adrien pinning a male reader down while they're alone?

A Adrien solo headcanon? How fun, boo!

Sure thing.

Sorry boo, even if I really liked your idea I've been having a lot of headaches (sorry if it's tmi, but: Periods fuckin sucks-).

I hope you don't mind if I redo your ask another time, probably a better one shot than- Whatever the hell I was thinking when writing this XD

TW/Tags: bullying but like- That's no surprise lol- // mentions of past encounters // perhaps mutual simping? // short hc, sorry about that boo ;-; // Terrible quality for an headcanon

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Sorry I don't have a title- [Yandere!Bully OC (Adrien) x M!Reader - Headcanon]:

You have been running around this place for quite some time now, Amaryllis Academy is quite big after all.

You suspected that someone like him would not have enough stamina to continue pursuing you like this. And the truth is that he didn't have enough of an athletic build to hold it for so long, he just changed his strategy.

You also weren't necessarily interested in exercising everyday, you could say that maybe you two have the same amount of stamina, the difference being that you decided to waste it all while trying to run from him- And he decided to plan a way to corner you.

No one can blame you for falling so easily to that, but let's be honest- You should have seen this coming the moment he stopped chasing you and started coming forward very calmly.

"Why didn't I stop running as well?" You thought out loud now that you find yourself in a no ways out situation, great, just great.

You were choking on your own air- Completely out of breath having a hard time bringing more oxygen to your lungs. You take a look back and notice who was walking in- Wow, how surprising.

"- Ugh, come on-" you were not really pissed off, or surprised, or even scared anymore, you were just tired of having to run from this guy. One would think that someone like him isn't capable of hurting a single fly, but those who doubted him would end up having a big wake up call- Just like you did.

Do you remember now? It was in a similar situation like this- You were cornered, out of breath, your legs were giving up and couldn't even fight anymore. The only difference from that moment to now was that there wasn't anyone else here, except you two.

No audience this time, this was the backstage and you two were the actors getting their costumes out. At least that's how he saw it, to you it was just like any other time he would bully you. How wrong were you to think that.

He didn't make any attempts at running at you, and as you tried to help yourself on the walls beside you, he clapped at your latest performance.

"- Bravo, Are you happy with yourself now? That you managed to make a fool out of yourself?" His voice wasn't as bored as he usually was, it sounded filled with sarcasm with a hint of true anger in it.

Despite that, you weren't sure what he was talking about. I mean- You know what happened, but you can't recall a single moment where you have made him so pissed off.

"- You tried your hardest to get me to this point, and congratulations- You did it-" Adrien was holding himself from lashing out as much he could, he was feeling humiliated and the fact you're so unaware as to way makes him want to choke you. Put his arms around your neck and force you to at least look at him when he is talking with you.

You tried to remember what could have possibly made him so desperate to get back at you, and as you do, you can feel your blood pulsating inside your skull- You can recall one incident that happened yesterday.

Yesterday, you were avoiding Adrien as best as you could, while also trying to make new friends that could help you get away from him for a bit longer. You started talking with a shy girl in your class, you thought that it would be easier to get to know someone who is mostly alone all the time then going straight to the popular crowd- Who would absolutely dismiss you or even do worse things considering Adrien's influence over them.

You started talking to a girl you thought to be an outcast just like yourself, maybe you two could have been friends- But that didn't last too long after you realized exactly why she would be so distant from other people, apparently she was one of those who were… A little too into other people's relationships, more specifically your relationship with Adrien.

She only started talking with you because of how much time you spent with Adrien, how suspicious it is for someone like him to be so clingy towards you. Her endless nagging was horrible but even worse was how she had planted the idea in her head that you two have been dating or something- You tried arguing that Adrien has done nothing but bullying you and distancing yourself from others, but she couldn't really listen to you, or even care enough to try.

You were heavily reconsidering your options, after all it didn't seem like you two would really work out together- But before you considered ditching her, Adrien had confronted you about walking around with her.

He was acting like his usual bratty self, keeping himself calm and still holding that stern look in his face, but the actual contents of his speech were a bit concerning- It sounded like he was really jealous of you hanging out with a "creep like her", as he said.

You tried calming him down to not create a bigger scene, but your new "friend" had pushed Adrien to end up bumping on you, which only made the situation to escalate.

Adrien took this whole thing as a plan you both created to make himself seem like a fool, this was just an attempt to get his attention and he fell for it- He got red and started yelling at you two, his threats sounding like barks.

That's why he was chasing you today, at least that's why you thought so- Although the truth was a bit deeper than that, dearest. That whole event didn't slip through his mind even when he was asleep, he dreamed about the incident- Although with a thin veil of something a bit… Uncalled for in his opinion.

In Adrien's head, the accident made it look like he was hugging you, which made him get flustered and panicky. He had a dream about the whole scene happening again, but without your friend and without any of the other students, it was very pathetic of him to imagine a scenario where you would be there for him, to get him when he falls, how wishful.

He blames you for such a dream, just as if he would blame you if he ever got a dream about you cheating on him- Regardless of how your actual relationship is currently.

His own delusions and anxious thoughts would get the best of him, and that's why you're in this exact situation- Feeling out of breath with no one to save you from Adrien.

You felt yourself almost lose your balance and almost hit your face in the concrete, but thanks to Adrien slamming your back against the wall you didn't need to scratch your face, at least that's a positive.

You didn't pay much attention to what he was saying, you were just kinda pissed off of having to deal with this brat's bs everyday. Although, you're very aware that Adrien can be a bit more than just a brat, sometimes you have to remind yourself of that- It wouldn't be pretty to make him mad.

Bullying you, hating you, liking you, loving you- All are so difficult to manage everyday, it's too much work for someone like him. It's exhausting overthinking about you every day.

"- …. Sigh- You're very annoying, very, very annoying…." all that anger that was previously in his voice has almost gone away, being slowly replaced with tiredness. Key word being "almost", he was tired but not over his own jealousy yet.

You didn't want to provoke him considering how, well- Dangerous this situation is, or could be if you do the wrong thing. It's a 50/50 chance of you finding a way to comfort him without him lashing out once again. Then again, nothing can prevent him from getting the wrong idea of your actions, so choose wisely your next move, dearest.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere oc #yandere bully #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc headcanon #yandere bully x reader #yandere bully x male reader #male reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request

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august-anon · 4 years ago

Text

On Love’s Light Wings

Alright if you’ve look at my blog the past three days you’d know that I’ve been obsessively rereading Carry On/finally reading Wayward Son lol.

I wrote this inbetween finishing Carry On and starting Wayward Son yesterday, so it’s not really canon compliant with how we learn their relationship has been fairing in the interim, but who cares because that’s all pain and I’m here to write about fluff lol.

----

Fandom: Carry On/Simon Snow

Ship(s): SnowBaz

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Simon/Ler!Baz

Word Count: 2887 words

Summary: Simon and Baz are having a quiet moment together under the stars, and Baz discovers something interesting about Simon's wings.

[ao3 link]

---------------------------------

Baz

Things became a right mess, after the whole ordeal with the Mage and the goatherd (Ebb, Snow would tell me. Her name was Ebb.) and the Humdrum.

We were questioned and carted around, barely getting a chance to breathe. Everyone wanted to know what happened, and once they knew, it was time to get the kids out of the way so the adults could handle it.

I went home to my family. Snow went home with Bunce.

It was hard for a while, getting a chance to see each other. Simon and I would steal moments, when we were called to meetings together. We would sneak away, hold hands. Sometimes we would kiss.

But Simon had drawn back. I wasn’t surprised, with everything that had happened, I would’ve been more surprised if he hadn’t. But he drew into himself and wouldn’t come back, and I didn’t know how to help. Kisses were chaste and brief, hand-holding was tight and desperate, and most everything else was off the table.

He’d flinch away from my touch anywhere else.

It had hurt, but I had spent nearly half my lifetime hurting for Snow. I could do it a little while longer. And my patience paid off. Snow healed, albeit slowly. He started letting us -- me and Bunce, he had even shut her out after everything -- back in. I was able to see him more often, sneaking away from Watford for the weekends. I was allowed to place my hand in the middle of his back, on his neck, his stomach, his sides, his legs.

But there were two things I could never touch (or maybe it was three, if you counted them as separate limbs), that no one could ever touch, and frankly, I couldn’t find it in myself to blame Snow for that. His wings and his tail were a delicate matter. A harsh reminder. I teased him about them once and he didn’t speak to me for three weeks. I’ve learned my lesson now, I won’t tease him about them until he’s ready.

We’re curled up on the hood of my car, now, the echoing heat of the previously-running engine keeping us warm in the chilly early-spring night. Well, keeping Snow warm. Vampires don’t need to keep warm like humans do. We’re already so cold.

I’ve got my arms wrapped around him -- in the middle of his back, carefully placed in the space between where the bases of his wings end and where his tail sprouts from his tailbone -- and he’s got his head on my chest and we’re staring up at the sky. I don’t think either of us has said anything since we got situated on the hood, but I don’t mind, and I doubt Simon does either.

Instead I sigh -- it ruffles his curls, makes them tickle my nose, but I don’t mind -- and pull him even closer.

Simon

I don’t think Baz knows he’s doing it. He’s got his hands between my wings and my tail -- and that’s something I’ve really appreciated these past months, Baz doesn’t push like Penny does, he doesn’t even ask when I’m going to let him touch them -- but they’re brushing up and down. I think it's a subconscious movement, because his fingers keep bumping against the base of my wings and he isn’t even reacting. Normally, he gives them a much wider berth.

I’m trying to hold still. I don’t want to break the moment, it’s peaceful and calm and quiet and everything we haven’t been able to have in a very long time, but it feels weird and it’s hard not to squirm. If I squirm, though, Baz will pull back. And he’ll ask questions. And maybe he won’t want to hold me again because he’ll be afraid of touching my wings -- not that Baz is afraid of much of anything.

But the thing is, maybe Baz isn’t afraid. Maybe he thinks my wings and tail are as weird and inconvenient as I do. Maybe he’s disgusted by them, and that’s why he’s never pushed to touch them like Penny has. Maybe he’s just being nice by staying with me as I mope around with these mutations sprouting from me.

No, that doesn’t make sense. Baz isn’t nice.

But what does make sense about our relationship?

Baz

Snow’s been slowly tensing up for minutes now. I can’t tell if he’s upset about something or just uncomfortable, and it’s infinitely harder to tell without being able to see his face. I wish I could sweep my hands up and down his back to let him know that it’s okay, but I’m not allowed to touch his wings and I’m not going to push.

Not like Bunce. I saw him shout at her the other week. Her curiosity is going to get her in trouble someday -- as if it already hasn’t.

But the thought does draw my attention to my hands, and I realize that they’re already moving. I don’t know how long they’ve been moving for. And I freeze when my fingertips brush against the base of Snow’s wings.

That’s why Simon’s been so tense.

Simon flinches when I freeze, and I try to calculate how big of a mistake I just made. I pull my hands away like I’ve been burned and Simon flinches again, this time pulling back from me.

I never apologize -- Pitches don’t apologize -- but for Simon I just might.

For Simon, I just might do a lot of things.

Simon’s bottom lip is drawn between his teeth when I’m able to finally get a glimpse of his face. He looks nervous and upset and confused, and I’m not sure what to do with that combination. Before all of this, I might’ve pushed. Tried to make him cry, upset him in every way possible because it was the only thing I knew how to do aside from love him.

I’m trying to learn how to do new things now, though.

“Simon,” I start, and he meets my eyes at the use of his first name. “I--”

But he doesn’t let me finish. He squeezes his eyes shut tight and blurts out his words like they’re vomit. Simon’s never been good with words, and that hadn’t changed in the months that they’d been dating.

“You-can-touch-them-if-you-want-to,” he says, and his words run and slur together like alphabet soup. I can barely understand him.

I stare at him, to make sure he really means it. To make sure he doesn’t feel like me or Bunce have pressured him into it, that he’s really giving me permission. Once upon a time, I wouldn’t have cared. But once upon a time, Simon didn’t love me back, and I wouldn’t go back to that time for anything.

“Unless--unless you don’t want to,” Simon tacks on, and I know what I have to do.

Instead of answering him, I slowly raise up a hand. Simon’s wings twitch and fan out, but they’re trembling like they want nothing more to squeeze back shut against his back. I move a little faster so they don’t do that before I get there.

His wings feel exactly like I expected them to. Warm and leathery. They don’t hum with magic like I expected them to, but that makes sense, because Simon’s magic is gone now. He’s never going to hum again, and I’m okay with that.

I still don’t know if he is.

Either way, he’s still my Simon.

His wings twitch more at my touch, my fingertips dragging across them. Simon makes an odd face in response, all scrunchy and kind of confused.

“All right, Simon?” I say, and it comes out softer than I meant it to.

Simon doesn’t acknowledge that. He nods. “It feels weird.”

I tilt my head. “Weird how? Weird bad?”

Simon shakes his head. “Just weird.”

I roll my eyes and make my touch a little firmer. As I continue to trail my hand across the wing, the angle gets awkward, and my touch becomes more fingernails than fingertips. Simon’s eyes bulge wide out of his head and he squeals. For the second time that night, I rip my hand away as though I’ve been burned.

“Simon?” I ask.

But Simon’s not listening to me. His eyes are locked on the wing I was touching, wide and nervous. I can��t tell if I hurt him. It’s frustrating. I don’t want to hurt him, anymore.

Simon

This is absolutely unfair. I’d managed to hide it from Baz all these years. Penelope knew -- then again, Penny knew everything, it seemed -- and Agatha suspected, but Baz never knew.

His former mortal enemy, Simon Snow, is horribly, unbearably, stupidly ticklish. (And he maybe didn’t mind it as much as he would pretend to).

And of all the things to reveal that secret, it had to be my wings. Because it wasn’t enough that the rest of me was ticklish enough that a stray poke would send me rocketing into the ceiling, my magical wings were ticklish enough that Baz’s fingertips almost sent me flying away.

“Simon,” Baz says, and something tells me it isn’t the first time he’s said it. “Are you all right?”

And I want to deflect. I want to say it felt weird, or it hurt, or literally anything but the truth, but I can’t. Because Baz’s eyes are filled with guilt -- and I’ve gotten better at that lately, reading Baz’s emotions in his eyes when he refuses to show what he’s feeling on his face -- and I know he’s beating himself up over it. He probably thinks he actually hurt me.

“Fine,” I say, then I start stammering. I finally manage to force out, “Just tickled s’all.” I immediately regret it.

Baz looks like the cat who caught the canary.

Baz

Ticklish.

Simon Snow is fucking ticklish, and I never had any clue.

It makes sense why I didn’t, we were enemies after all, and that wasn’t exactly the kind of weakness you want your enemy to know. I don’t know if I would’ve used it against Snow if I had known, though. It was a rather intimate thing to do, and I had been in the business of touching him as little as possible unless it was a punch. Touching him could be quite painful, back when I was hopelessly in love with him.

It’s not quite so hopeless anymore.

I can hardly move fast enough in my excitement to know more. My hand instinctively goes for his wing, seeing as that’s what I’d been touching when I found out, but I stop just short of touching it. I’m not sure if touching it is still allowed.

Simon’s wing twitches into my touch. Based on the way Snow’s eyes go wide, I’d say that action wasn’t entirely under his control. Seems the wings have a bit of a mind of their own, or maybe they acted off of Snow’s subconscious impulses.

But I don’t care either way. Bunce could solve that mystery, she’s the one who likes to do that sort of thing.

All I care about is exploring this new world Snow’s opened up to me.

I trail my nails across Simon’s wing again and it twitches violently as he squeals again. I wiggle my nails with a little more purpose against the leathery skin and Simon breaks into actual giggles. A hand flies up to cover his mouth and I reach out and grab it with my free one, interlacing our fingers.

“None of that,” I say. “I want to hear you.”

“Baz!” Simon squeals, but I ignore him.

I decide that wiggling my fingers around aimlessly is going to get me nowhere. No, I need to seek out the real sensitive spots. I try to pull back the hand I’m holding Simon’s with, but he squeezes it tight in his grip. He’s probably realized what I plan to do with it. He always was good at sensing when I was plotting (though I suppose it’s not that hard when the answer is all the time).

It doesn’t matter though, because I can do what I want just as well with one hand. Simon doesn’t seem to realize he has a second hand fully capable of stopping me. It’s flailing around uselessly, and it’s disgustingly adorable.

Simon’s giggling gets louder and more frantic as I spider my nails up his wing, moving towards the base of it at his back. I can’t help the grin that comes to my lips, I just hope it doesn’t look as soppy and lovesick as I feel. Not that Simon would notice, his eyes are too scrunched up with laughter. His nose, too.

Once again: disgustingly adorable. It makes me sick.

Simon’s laughing deep from his belly, now, not just giggling anymore. It’s still getting worse the higher I go, so I don’t change directions. He actually wails in laughter when I get to the inside curve of his wing (it’s almost like an armpit, but for wings. Wingpit?), squirming so frantically that he collapses back into my chest. I can’t help but laugh with him.

I’ve heard Simon laugh before, but it’s gotten rarer and rarer as the years have passed. I haven’t heard it at all since the incident with the Mage and Ebb and the Humdrum, and it’s a refreshing sound. It’s like when you’re parched and you’re finally given a cold glass of water. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until hearing it again.

Simon

Baz’s fingers are driving me mad. The touch is so light and teasing, it’s making my skin crawl. There are goosebumps all up and down my arms, and they’re not from the cold. I wish he would move to a different spot, or make his touch firmer, or something. It’s torture. The best kind

I can barely breathe through my laughter, with the new sweet spot he’s found, and my stomach aches with the force of it. It’s invigorating. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I laughed until Baz forced it out of me. Not that I really minded.

I feel like I’m flying.

He’s laughing with me now, too, and it only makes me laugh harder. It’s not his usual sneering, cocky laugh that he always used to give me back in school, back before our truce. It’s more like the laugh he gave me when he was drunk -- or drunk on my magic -- light and bubbly and a little bit rough, like it’s out of practice.

Maybe I should tickle him back sometime. Get it back into practice.

But that’s the last coherent thought that I’m able to have before Baz’s fingers find a sweet spot inside the sweet spot. I’m lost to my cackling, the only thing on my mind being Baz’s tickling fingers. I wonder if it’ll drive me mad.

Baz

Snow’s laugh used to make me want to throttle him. Or at least punch him. It was just another reminder of what I couldn’t have, what I would never be able to have. Because Snow was my enemy and he was dating Wellbelove and we were going to kill each other someday.

Now, his laugh just makes me want to kiss him. It did that before, too, but I always buried it beneath the urge to beat on him. I’m allowed to kiss, now, though, and so the urge to punch him is gone.

I feel like I’m floating.

And I really want to kiss him.

But he’s probably bound to run out of air, and I think it might be a little difficult to kiss his open, laughing mouth (even as much as the idea of swallowing his laughter into my own lungs is enticing), so I pull away. Simon goes boneless against me, panting and giggling, his wing still twitching from my lingering phantom touch. They furl up protectively against his back, and I get the urge to kiss them, too.

Maybe later.

For the time being, I satisfy myself with pressing my lips against Simon’s own, now that his breath has somewhat returned. Simon wastes no time in kissing me back, still with far more finesse than I can manage. I’m learning, though, and I’m clearly making progress based on the heady little noises he makes into my mouth.

I don’t need alcohol to feel drunk, or even Simon’s former magic coursing through me. I could get intoxicated on Simon alone. Not that I’d ever let him know that, he’d use it against me every chance he’d get. And I’d let him.

We spend the rest of our evening kissing under the stars, long after the hood of the car has gone cold under us. Simon’s wings wrap around us like a blanket, warm and smooth, and we keep kissing. The stars twinkle above them, painting beautiful shadows across Simon’s face. I trace them with my lips.

I have to be back at Watford in the morning. Simon has to be back at the Bunce’s before they notice he snuck out with me (though I imagine Penelope herself likely already knows). The world outside the little bubble we’ve created here continues to turn round, but we don’t have to rejoin it just yet.

For now, it can just be Simon and me, and everything can be all right.

#tickle fic #My writing #carry on tickling #lee!simon #ler!baz #ticklish!simon #carry on #baz pitch #simon snow #snowbaz #Wing!fic

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xbaepsae · 4 years ago

Text

5280 feet (m)

“Never in your life have you met such a cocky, yet still strangely attractive, person. His words really struck a chord in you, and now you really can’t stop imagining your legs wrapped around him…or his cock in your mouth.”

[jimin x flight attendant!reader]

genre: mile high club!au, smut, slight pwp, some humor, some fluff (if you squint)

word count: 5.8k

rating: mature

warnings: uhhhh unprotected airplane sex lmao, fingering, oral, cum shot, more unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of alcohol, language

a/n: please tell me i’m not the only one who fantasizes about being a member of the mile high club?? LOL. i planned this fic a while ago, but forgot about it until yesterday. and surprisingly, all 5k+ came pretty naturally; of course, i never intended it to be 5k lol. the plot just kept continuing. xoxo

“I think one of these days, I’m just going to collapse and die,” you say, taking a sip of your coffee. It tasted dark and bitter—much like your mood right now.

“Oh, you’re being dramatic,” Seokjin rolls his eyes, “you love this job.”

He was right—you did love being a flight attendant. It was probably the best decision you’ve ever made, and you’ve made a lot of bad ones. Instead of completing the standard four years of college, you managed one measly semester and decided school just wasn’t for you. The only reason you applied was for your mother’s sanity anyway; you promised you’d try, and try you did. Obviously, your mother freaked because your life was doomed—a fucking college dropout; what good could come from it?

Well, five years later, you’d consider your life pretty successful. Not only have you traveled all over the world, but you’ve met some interesting people. The only downside to this career was the demanding, god-forsaken hours.

Take your predicament right now as an example; you woke up this morning at around four o’clock, dazed and confused, before remembering that you spent another night at a hotel in an unfamiliar city. You’ve never really been a morning person, so you’ve yet to master the early morning calls.

After an entire day of flying, along with an array of rude and needy passengers, you are on the last flight of the day—the flight that is going to take you home to your bed.

Pulling your suitcases behind you, you and Seokjin make it to the gate of your final assignment for the day and greet the pilot. He lets you know that the flight is going to be over two hours and you’re completely okay with that.

“Whatever will get me home tonight, Yoongi,” you smile tiredly, realizing that your coffee is already finished.

“It shouldn’t be a terribly full flight, so I think we’ll manage.”

Yoongi boards the plane first, along with his co-pilot, to make sure everything is working properly, and lets you and Seokjin know that you two can board in ten minutes. In the time you still have to wait, people begin arriving at the gate. You hope Yoongi is right, and that the flight isn’t packed, because you honestly aren’t in the mood to deal with the audacious demands of people right now.

Quickly excusing yourself to the restroom, you freshen up a little and give yourself a little prep talk, “You can do this, y/n—just one more flight and then you have the rest of the week off.”

You are so looking forward to your break. Rarely do you ever get so many days off in-between your schedule, so you’re beyond excited. It was finally time for you and your bed to become reacquainted with one another.

When you get back to the gate, Seokjin offers you a smile. “Looking better.”

“I feel much better; maybe the caffeine is kicking in after all.” Some of your favorite workdays were the days you and Seokjin got to work together. It wasn’t often since your airline has multiple crewmembers, but these last rotation days have been fun—minus today since you’re in a rush to go home. “Got any plans when you get home?”

“I think my wife just misses me, so we’ll probably just be staying at home,” he laughs, and you wistfully sigh at the thought of marriage.

At that moment, you both get a notice to board the plane and you excitedly hand one of the desk attendants your boarding pass. As you both walk through the boarding gate, you can’t help but muse, “Must be nice to have someone to return home to.”

“Weren’t you seeing that one guy…?”

“Oh, Namjoon?” you ask, and Seokjin nods. “Yeah…I was; unfortunately, that didn’t work out.”

“What happened?” he asks.

Shrugging, you say, “I guess it was because I was busy? Being a flight attendant means I’m not always home, and Namjoon wanted someone who could always be around.”

“Are you doing alright though?”

“Oh yeah,” you nod, “I’m fine. Our relationship wasn’t that serious anyway and if I’m being honest, I really didn’t like Namjoon that much.”

Boarding the plane, you and Seokjin stow your bags away and begin preparing the necessities for the flight. After so many years in the business, all of this prep feels like second nature to you. Within minutes, you have almost everything prepped just in time for the passengers arriving on the plane.

As people begin boarding, you wear your best smile and greet them. One by one, you watch the different people boarding—you see everything from families to singles. Although you’re smiling at everyone, you’re not one hundred percent paying attention, that is until you catch the persistent gaze of one passenger.

You aren’t even actively looking at him; but you know that feeling of someone watching you? Well, for some reason, he was staring you down, so you had to look at him. And when you do, an immediate wave of heat rolls over your body. The moment he passes by you, towering a few inches above you in your modest heels, you catch a whiff of his cologne that sends a pulse down to your core.

Good thing you’ve perfected at least your poker face because hot damn that was that a fine piece of man in front of you. You’ve encountered hot passengers on other flights but never has someone affected you like this. Perhaps it was the swagger in his walk or the confidence that permeated the recycled air, but it was intoxicating.

From your peripheral, you notice that he found a seat early on the plane—meaning he was seated in first-class. You didn’t even pay attention to what he was wearing. Was he a businessman? Those are the types that always sit in first-class.

Soon, the doors of the plane shut, and you have to begin with the plane briefing and safety protocols.

“Y/n, for the safety demonstration, I’ll take the back half of the plane and you stay here in first-class, okay?” Seokjin asks from somewhere, but you can’t even focus. You absentmindedly nod before realizing that you’ll be in close proximity with that man from earlier. You’re about to protest when your friend suddenly speaks up again. “Actually, can you stay in first-class and the front of economy today? I’d rather be in the back of the plane.”

Oh, great. “Uh…sure. That’s fine, I guess.”

Beginning the safety instructions, you once again feel the same heated gaze from earlier and wonder if it’s because you look like a mess? Was there something on your uniform? You’ll be the first to admit that flight attending uniforms weren’t the cutest things in the world, but it was the standard, so you have no choice.

After you finish the safety instructions, you move onto the pre-flight service in first-class. You peaked and noticed that mystery man is sitting in the last row of first-class, so you don’t have to immediately talk to him. Even as you bring glasses of champagne and various other cups of liquor to the other passengers in first-class, the feeling of being watched never fully goes away. And eventually, you find yourself in front of him.

“Good evening sir, is there anything I can get you before we take off?” you try not to directly look at him.

“Yes, I’ll have a glass of your best red wine and you,” he says so smoothly, you almost don’t catch the bit at the end.

When you do, your eyes flutter to his. “Excuse me?”

“I wanted you to look at me, doll,” he smiles, and you feel your heart explode. This man was unbelievably attractive. You momentarily glance at his clothing and he is indeed wearing a suit. But he wears it in such a way that isn’t overly stuffy. Underneath his blazer is a simple white button-up, but the top two buttons are open and leave little to the imagination.

“Anything else besides the wine, sir?” you ignore the comment made about you.

“How about your name?” he asks, leaning towards you. Was he flirting with you?

You offer a passive smile, “I don’t think that’s on the menu.”

“Are you sure you’re not on the menu? Because,” he licks his lower lip, “I would love to have those long legs wrapped around me or maybe your sweet lips wrapped around my cock.”

If people could turn into puddles, you’d be a total melted mess right now. Instinctively, your thighs snap together, and you release a shaky breath. You nervously look around and hope no one thinks anything suspicious is happening right now. Quickly, you excuse yourself and air out the top of your uniform. It is too damn hot in here.

Walking back with a glass of red wine, you hand it to the extremely forward stranger. “Here you so, sir. I hope you enjoy.”

“I’m sorry if I was being too forward a moment ago,” he takes a sip of the wine and you watch as he licks a drop off his lips. “But you’re too beautiful and I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

“No, it’s…attractive,” you admit, which not only surprises him but surprises you too.

He gives you another mega-watt smile. “The name’s Jimin.”

“Y/n,” you finally relent just as Yoongi announces that the plane is ready for takeoff. Leaving Jimin with a last look, you go and take your seat as the plane lifts into the air.

***

Once the plane reaches a certain altitude and seat belts can be unbuckled, you begin the process off offering refreshments to the other passengers. You and Seokjin tag team this feat and Yoongi was right, there aren’t as many people on this flight; this makes the whole process much easier. Even though you’re occupied with offering cups of ginger ale and sprite to passengers, you can’t stop thinking about Jimin.

You blame the fact that you haven’t had a proper orgasm in a few days. Mix that with your awful day, and you’re dying for a sweet release. For the last half hour, Jimin has had you all hot and bothered. Never in your life have you met such a cocky, yet still strangely attractive, person. His words really struck a chord in you, and now you really can’t stop imagining your legs wrapped around him…or his cock in your mouth.

“Are you okay, y/n?”

You blink at Seokjin, “Fine—just tired.”

Putting the refreshment carts away in the back, you both do one round of garbage collection before Seokjin excuses himself to the makeshift lounge. On this plane, since it is a bit bigger, there is a little lounge for the crew. However, it only fits one person usually. Pouting, you make your way back to the front of the plane and double check with a few passengers.

As you’re about to pass first-class, you feel your core tighten from the thought of being in close proximity to Jimin again. Even though you feel his eyes on you once again, you ignore the sensation and focus on the other first-class passengers.

“Can I have another glass of champagne?” one woman asks, and you promptly bring her another cold glass.

You continue catering to everyone’s needs before you find yourself in front of Jimin again. Never have you been more thankful for the bit of privacy first-class offers because the pure and unadulterated desire that seeps from Jimin almost has you on your knees. “Can I get you anything else, sir?”

“Are you still off the menu, y/n?” he asks, and the way your name rolls off his tongue makes you weak. Your expression only seems to fuel his desire though. “I’ll have another glass on red wine.”

You practically run to get the wine. As you pour his drink, you honestly aren’t sure if you’ll make it the whole flight feeling this tense. There is still at least another hour and a half of the flight, but your self-control is wearing thin. Maybe if you just quickly slipped into the lavatory…your face heats at the thought. In all of your years as a flight attendant, you’ve never even once considered doing something like that.

As someone working in the airplane industry, you’ve heard of the so-called mile high club—people who have sex on planes. You will admit that the thought has always intrigued you, but to actually participate? Not only would you be jeopardizing your job, but also your reputation.

During your first year as a flight attendant, you heard a rumor about a girl who worked on a different airline that got fired for getting caught having sex on the job. You don’t remember the details of what exactly happened, but all you need to remember is that she ended up jobless and you don’t want that to be your reality.

Walking back to Jimin, you catch him staring at you again and tension once again radiates throughout your body.

“Here you go,” you hand him the glass of wine. Just as you’re about to walk away, his hands move to wrap around your wrist.

“Tell me about yourself,” he prompts, taking you by surprise. “What? Thought that I just wanted to fuck you?”

Your mouth drops at his boldness, and Jimin comments something that sounds like you’re cute.

“I mean, I do want to do that too,” he continues, hand wrapped underneath his jaw. “But I am curious to know more about you.”

“I’m twenty-three and I’ve been a flight attendant for almost five years,” you offer, unsure if that’s the kind of information he wants to know. “I love my job and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”

Jimin takes a sip of his wine before saying, “I’m twenty-six and I work in a multi-million-dollar business. I love-hate my job but couldn’t imagine doing anything else either.”

“Is that where you’re headed today?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he unbuttons another button from his shirt and proceeds to take off his jacket. Although you try to be discreet, Jimin catches your nervous swallow. “I do these business trips every month. I have a huge meeting tomorrow morning, which is why I took a flight tonight.”

“Well, if you have a chance, the city is beautiful and you should go sightseeing,” you tell him, surprised that you both are having a normal conversation.

“You’ve been?” he asks.

You laugh in response. “I live there.”

Jimin’s eyebrows perk up. “Oh, really? I wasn’t sure since I know flight attendants spend a certain number of days working prior to flying home.”

“This is my last flight of this particular schedule,” you don’t know why you feel the need to tell him this, but the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Interesting,” Jimin nods. “Don’t you think we should celebrate?”

At his question, your brows furrow. You don’t understand what he means. “Celebrate what?”

“This being your last flight.”

“How?”

Despite the setting sun casting the cabin in golden hour, Jimin’s eyes appear to darken in the light. Something mischievous glints in them and all he says is, “Three taps.”

***

You have no idea what three taps means.

After that comment from Jimin, you walked back to your seat to contemplate his words. There is no possible way anything can happen—there is less than an hour before they land now. What kind of celebration was he even talking about?

Mulling over his words, you do a walk through all the cabins with Seokjin and snicker when you see his bedhead. “Have a good nap?”

“Even though it was only twenty minutes, I needed that,” he smiles sheepishly

“No wonder you wanted to sit in the back.”

You pick up some trash from the passengers and throw it into the trash bag that Seokjin holds. “You can have a quick nap if you want.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” you shake your head. “The flight’s almost over anyway.”

Checking your watch, there should only be about thirty minutes left of the flight. On your way back to your seat, you slip into the lavatory and splash some water on your face. You are still feeling a bit hot and bothered, but your house was within reach. And being home meant you could use all of your delicious toys tucked away in your side drawer.

Just as you wipe the water off your face, you hear a knock on the door. You yell out that it’s occupied, and even double check to make sure you locked the door. You did. So, who knocked? Throwing the paper towel away, there’s another knock on the door…and then another. Your stomach tightens when you realize there were three consecutive knocks—three taps.

You mouth runs dry at the thought of who might be on the other side of the door. There is also a jolt of electricity that runs up your spine at the thought of what’s going to happen, and even more so at the fact that you could get caught. Earlier, you were worried about getting caught and potentially losing your job; however, now, the risk thrilled you.

So, you decide to say fuck it and unlock the door.

Immediately, Jimin enters the lavatory and swiftly locks it behind him. You open your mouth to say something to him but before you can, he steps forward and pushes you back against the sink. Grabbing your face in his hands, his lips crash onto yours. You moan at the sheer force of his kiss. His lips move over yours as if he’s kissed your lips a thousand times. Like he knows exactly how to set you off.

You don’t know how, but clothes start coming off and you find yourself on your knees in front of him. Your breast are already on full display and he leans down to pinch your nipples before moving to cup your face.

“Suck my cock, baby girl,” Jimin coos, rubbing his thumb over your lips.

Unbuckling his pants, you reach into his briefs and pull out his cock. There’s already precum smeared over the tip and hard shaft, and you wonder just how long he’s been like this.

“I’ve been hard since the flight started,” he seems to read your mind. “The moment I saw that tight ass in that skirt…fuck.”

You take Jimin into your mouth without warning, marveling at his size and how you’re already dripping through your panties. You’re no prude, but you’ve never been this turned on in your life.

As you suck on the tip and work the rest with your hands, the sounds that come from Jimin’s mouth feed your desire. He’s surprisingly vocal—his moans high pitched and needy. “Yes…just like that, baby. You suck cock so well, huh?”

You hum in response, and Jimin’s hands weave their way into your hair. He guides you closer to his groin, his cock hitting the back of your throat. You choke at the sensation, but it’s worth the pleasure that Jimin seems to feel. He begins fucking your mouth; body shaking slightly at the feeling of lips around his cock.

Eventually, he pulls away and lifts you off the ground. Unexpectedly, he brings you close for another kiss—the sloppy, messy kind that moves from your lips to your jaw, and curves to your neck and collarbone. As he sucks bruises into the delicate skin of your shoulder, he raises you up on the sink and pulls your panties to the side.

The moment his thumb presses against your clit, you’re done for. You jerk at the way he works your little nub, nearly crying because you’ve wanted nothing more than release. “Oh my god, Jimin.”

It doesn’t take you long to feel the steady build of your orgasm coming. It really has been so long since you’ve felt this good; and when Jimin inserts two fingers inside of you, finding that g-spot, you come undone instantly.

“Fuck, I’m coming,” you arch back against the mirror and Jimin can’t help but stare at your expression in wonder.

“That’s right, baby,” he continues to rub your sensitive clit, helping you ride out your orgasm. “Keep coming for me, and then I’m going to fuck you so good.”

The second you come down from your high, Jimin pushes his cock into you and you let out the loudest moan. He fucks you hard and fast, hips slamming against your pelvis rhythmically. For a second, you wonder if he dances because there was no way normal hips should move that way. But that thought fades when Jimin pulls your closer to the edge of the sink, and somehow manages to get an even deeper angle.

“F-Feels so good, Jimin.”

“Yeah?” he asks, sweat starting to bead at his brow.

You nod in response and look down to see the way his cock looks entering your wet cunt. The sight alone would’ve been enough to send you over the edge again, but you held it in. More than anything, you wanted Jimin to come too. Wrapping your legs even tighter around him, you begin to meet him thrust for thrust. Soon, his hip movements become jerky and you know he’s close.

“I don’t know how much longer I-I can…” Jimin groans, slowing down. “Are you close?”

“Mhmm,” you moan. “I’m almost there….”

With a few more hard thrusts, and a thumb pressed to your clit, you shut your eyes as your second orgasm rolls over you. The way your walls clench around him have Jimin gasping as he pulls out and shoots his load all over your stomach. You watch the milky white ropes mark your skin, and even lift a bit into your mouth.

“You know, I would’ve swallowed,” you muse, loving the way Jimin’s expression darkens once again.

“I guess we’ll just have to do that next time,” he smirks, causing you to become speechless.

You both clean up in silence, and you try to make yourself look pre-coital. Jimin laughs at the way you attempt to straighten your wrinkled skirt, but you just pout because he looks amazing even with the just-fucked look. “No fair.”

“You look hot,” Jimin swears, pinching your butt a little and making you jump.

Jimin sneaks back out of the lavatory first and you follow behind a moment later, walking as casually as you can to your seat. Thankfully, you arrive just in time because Yoongi announces over the intercom that you’re descending soon, which means everyone needs to buckle up.

As the plane lands in the city, the sky is a gorgeous shade of purple dusk. Immediately, you feel reenergized from being home, and also because you just had the best sex of your life…in an airplane lavatory. You blush again at the thought of Jimin’s thick cock inside of you, and then sigh when you realize you’ll probably never see him again. What a tragedy.

The moment the plane pulls up to the gate, and Yoongi turns the engine off, everyone begins filing out of the plane. You bid each passenger goodbye and wonder why you haven’t seen Jimin yet—after all, he was sitting in first-class. Eventually, you realize he’s the last person to leave and when he stands in front of you, he sticks his hand out.

Instinctively, though confused, you shake it and he leaves without another word. You watch him step off the plane and feel…sad? Although you barely know the man, you were definitely intrigued and wanted to see him again. When you move to grab your bags, you realize that there is a slip of paper in your hand. Wait; did Jimin put it there? Quickly opening the note, you read it and a wide smile stretches across your face.

He gave you his number.

***

After you say goodbye to Seokjin and Yoongi, you waste no time texting Jimin.

9:01 PM | You: hi…this is y/n

9:01 PM | Jimin: y/n. didn’t think you’d actually text back lol

You can’t help but laugh a little at his response. Why wouldn’t you text back? Right now, the only thing you can think about is him.

9:02 PM | You: of course. I want to see you again

You send your next text without even fully thinking it through. It was impulsive and a bit unlike you to be so frank, that was clearly Jimin’s forte, but what was there to lose? If Jimin hadn’t secretly given you his number, there would have been no way you’d see him again.

By the time you make it to your car, Jimin hasn’t said anything back. Doubt and worry fills you—was he tired of you already? Maybe you were bad at sex? No, then why would he have bothered with the number anyway? Your mind swirls through terrible scenarios before you receive another message

9:06 PM | Jimin: me too, doll. Meet me at my hotel?

9:06 PM | Jimin: I would’ve waited but my ride was already here waiting for me, and I didn’t know if you��

Your body pulsates at the thought of seeing him now. Earlier today, all you wanted was to go home; now, the idea of warming Jimin’s hotel bed seemed too tempting to pass up.

9:07 PM | You: okay

***

You pull up to the hotel that Jimin sent the address to and gawk at the posh exterior. There are a number of ritzy hotels in your city, and you figured Jimin would be staying at a nicer one, but it was still shocking to experience.

As your mouth stays parted, someone gently taps at your window. You jump a little and see a man standing there. Rolling down your window, you take in his uniform and are about to ask where you can park.

“I can valet park for you, ma’am,” he says, cutting you off. “You’re with Mr. Park, correct?”

Who is Mr. Park? Before you have a chance to answer, your phone vibrates with a text message. Looking down, you see that Jimin’s texted you.

9:30 PM | Jimin: let the valet take your car

“Umm, okay,” you tell the man and step out of the car. Walking around to grab your luggage from the back, you see that another man has already fetched it for you. Is this what it’s like to have money? You quickly thank them both and make your way inside of the hotel.

As you reach the front desk, the receptionist offers you a smile. “Mr. Park is in the Presidential Suite. It’s on the very top floor, ma’am.”

Your mouth drops again, and you wonder if maybe you had the wrong perception of Jimin. When he mentioned on the plane that he worked for a big business, you figured he was just a normal employee. Yeah, every business has its perks, so you figured that was just the case. However, maybe Jimin is higher up the business food chain than you thought. Also, how did she know you were the person Jimin was supposed to meet?

After thanking the receptionist, you walk in the direction of the elevators. Getting in one, you press the highest number on the elevator and begin to go up. Once you make it to the top floor, you walk out of the elevator and realize there is only one door. You laugh a little; guess there’s no way you can get lost then.

Standing in front of the door, you knock three times and wait for Jimin to answer. Within seconds, he does, and you realize he only has a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is damp, and you marvel at the droplets that cascade down his body. He laughs at your reaction and ushers you to come inside.

But the second you’re through the threshold, your luggage tips over as Jimin pushes you against a wall.

“Hey, doll,” his breath fans across your face.

“Hey, Mr. Park,” you smirk a little. “So, tell me, just how rich are you?”

Jimin chuckles and begins to pepper kisses along your face and jawline. “I was hoping you wouldn’t figure that out. Tends to make people want to stay, if you know what I mean.”

Grabbing his face into your hands, you tell him, “Jimin, I don’t care that you have money.”

His expression softens at your words.

“And how could I not figure that out when you’re staying in a fucking Presidential Suite?” you continue, pressing a kiss on his chin. “Kind of a dead giveaway.”

“Fuck my money,” he rolls his eyes. “I just want to properly bury my face in your pussy.”

Fire ignites in your core as Jimin pulls you away from the doorway and past the main area. You barely have time to admire the ceiling to floor glass windows or the modern layout of furniture because he drags you into the bedroom. Jimin throws himself onto his bed, and you don’t miss the way his towel barely clings to his body. “Strip for me.”

You are still in your flight attendant outfit; however, you oblige and begin peeling the same clothes Jimin tore off your body earlier. You delight in the way Jimin watches your every move. It’s like he can’t get enough of you. Once you slip out of your panties, fully exposed to him, he pulls you on top of his lap for a kiss.

On his lips, you can still taste the remnants of the red wine he had on the plane. But unlike the rushed kisses in the lavatory, Jimin kisses you passionately now. His tongue dances with your own, and he gently nips at your lips before pushing you onto your back.

Above you, he works a trail down your body; sucking your already hard nipples into his mouth. You let out a shuddering moan when he reaches the sensitive skin above your cunt. He licks the skin there, and then dives into your core.

“A-Ah!” your back arches at the feeling of Jimin’s tongue fucking you.

“Your pussy tastes so fucking sweet, baby girl,” he groans.

Jimin replaces his tongue with one finger, and you’re about to whine at the loss of his mouth when his mouth moves to your clit and doubles the sensation. “Fuck.”

“Just like that, baby,” he coos, inserting another finger. “Are you going to come for me?”

You helplessly nod at his ministrations. He continues to suck on your little nub, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. When he inserts a third finger inside your wetness, it sends you past the point of no return and you cry out your climax.

“Beautiful,” he hums, lapping up your release and you’ve never seen anything hotter. Sitting up, he watches you with a smug grin and starts pumping his hardening cock in front of you. “Get on your side.”

Although your legs already feel like jelly, you do as he says and lay on your side. Jimin moves behind you, and the feeling of your back pressed against his chest sends a shiver down your pack. Gently, Jimin lifts one of your legs over his and slides inside of you.

Just a few hours ago, he was inside of you, but the stretch still feels amazing now. His pace is slow, and he presses chaste kisses along your shoulder. After a few shallow thrusts, he hits you with a particularly hard one and you let out a low moan.

“What do you want me to do?” he whispers into your ear, arm reaching over to fondle your breasts.

“I want you to fuck me, Mr. Park.”

Jimin nips at your ear, “What was that, doll? Couldn’t hear you.”

You repeat you statement louder, and he lets out a satisfied grunt. Jimin’s hips pick up their pace and the forearm holding you up falls at the force of his thrusts. The lewd noises coming out of your mouth are loud and brazen, but the dirty sweet nothings that left Jimin’s lips are enough to make you orgasm a second time—well, fourth if you count the two from earlier today.

“Ohmygod, Jimin.”

“Yes, fuck, doll—you feel so fucking good on my cock.” Clutching the bedsheets through your high, Jimin breathes heavily behind you, “Fuck. Where do you want me to cum, baby girl?”

Even though you just came, you still can’t help the moans that leave your mouth. “Anywhere. I-I don’t c-care.”

“Can I come inside of you?”

The thought of Jimin filling you up with his cum is so fucking hot, you nod and feel him explode inside of you. He leans against your shoulder as he coats your inner walls. When he finally pulls out, you fall back onto your elbows and examine the mess he made.

“Has anyone ever told you that your pussy is a wonderland?” Jimin asks, walking towards you with a wet cloth. You’re about to take it from him to clean yourself, but he ends up doing it for you.

You blush at the action. “Uh…I don’t think so.”

“Well, it is,” he meets your gaze. You feel yourself blush even harder.

Jimin discards the wet cloth and you realize this is the awkward part. At least on the plane, you could just go back to your seat. Here, what are you supposed to do? Getting up from the bed, you slip your panties back on and cringe at how wet they are.

“Where are you going?”

You stop in your tracks. “Leaving?”

Jimin pulls back the covers of the bed and slips inside, beckoning you. “Stay.”

“Don’t you have that huge meeting early tomorrow?”

“So?” he asks, and you slip into bed right beside him—sans clothing. “Besides, I want to fuck you again.”

You roll your eyes as he pulls you closer, “Isn’t twice enough?”

“I think I might be addicted,” he admits, which makes your heart stutter.

You’re about to tell him the same, but you yawn instead. Suddenly, you remember that you’ve been up since four this morning and that you’ve been running on god knows how many shots of espresso.

“Tired?” Jimin takes the words right out of your mouth.

Nodding, you mutter unintelligently. You probably should shower and brush your teeth, but you honestly can’t be bothered since Jimin feels so good beside you. His body is warm and comfortable; before you can say another word to him, you’re already drifting into dreamland.

As you sleep tangled in his arms, Jimin grazes his fingers over your face and thinks about how beautiful you look even like this. He wasn’t lying when he said he might be addicted to you. He only met you today and already had you twice, but the desire to have more of you is insatiable.

You are definitely going to be his ruin.

#armiesnet #btsbookclub #bangtan bookclub #jimin fic #bts fic #bangtan fic #bts smut #kpop fic #jimin #park jimin #bts #bangtan #smut #pwp #5280 feet #xbaepsae

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thechangeling · 4 years ago

Text

Out of our heads Out of our minds

So evil writer brain decided to cook up and incredibly toxic kitty fic because apparently I'm a terrible person lol. Blame @ilikebooks8 for letting this see the light of day.

The title is based on the song Out of this world by Bush.

Cw: slightly nsfw, violence, cheating, incredibly toxic behavior, beloved characters making bad choices, and implied sex.

Kit returns.

He returns to Ty with the same dazzling smile and charming witt, only now he seems to have grown even more impossibly beautiful as time has passed.

Now he's all hard lines and defined muscles and piercing sinful blue eyes that make Ty so angry he could scream.

Kit laughs and Ty wants to tear his insides out. Wants to rip Kit's heart right out if his chest just like he did to Ty. The painful gnawing rage of a betrayal that still stings after all this time. And yet still, Ty heard Kit was in danger and he came running like a man obsessed.

Ty knows deep down now matter how angry he is, he could never let anything happen to Kit. Nothing permanent anyways. Sometimes when the ache becomes to difficult to bare, Ty imagines punching that stupid smirk right off of his face. Or choking him hard enough to leave bruises. Of course Ty would never actually do such a thing. The sight of Kit in pain, any sort of pain is just too unbearable.

And that's the worst part. No matter how angry Ty gets he knows it can't last. And no matter how painful it is to be near Kit again, he still feels this unexplainable pull. This whispering in his ear to get closer and closer. To reach out and touch.

But it's stupid, and it's wrong anyways because Ty already has someone. Anush who was by his side the whole time at the scholomance and has never betrayed him. Anush who is sweet and thoughtful and gorgeous. Ty should be happy. After all, wasn't this what he always wanted? Someone to be there for him?

So he tried to distract himself from Kit by throwing himself into spending time with Anush and working the case. That's all Kit was now, just the latest problem to solve. A supernatural disaster. They would save him and stop the oncoming war and everything would be fine.

And then Kit would be gone. Blind panic teared at Ty's insides at the thought. There were these moments with Kit where they would make eye contact, or they would bump into each other in the kitchen and their fingers would brush and Ty would just desperately want to wrap Kit in his arms again.

He wanted to ask if Kit had really meant what he said that day on the beach. Sometimes when Kit stared at him with that soft sad smile on his face Ty wondered if they were going through similar things. Sometimes Ty wanted to tell him that he wished he had never met Kit either.

Kit Herondale was dangerous and unpredictable and loving him was like holding a live wire. But funnily enough the same could probably be said about Ty. Especially lately.

He felt like he was constantly in pain. Like his body ached with invisible wounds that made it impossible to breathe. The world was brutal and unforgiving, berating him with constant noise and blinding lights jabbing hot pokers into his brain. And the people with their sickly sweet smiles as they demanded he bare his soul.

But what if there was nothing left anymore? What if his soul had died with Livvy? Ty tried to cling onto the things that made him feel better. He hid away in his favorite spot, listening to his favorite music and pouring over Sherlock. Repeating the words to himself over and over again like they could pull him out of this tailspin. Ty distracted himself with Anush's sweet kisses and wandering hands as he tried to turn his brain off for once in his life.

But his soul was screaming out for another person to be the one touching him. He wanted Kit and that was infuriating. It made no logical sense. Not only was Kit responsible for breaking his heart but he also was notorious for playing fast and loose with his own life. Ty couldn't spend all his time constantly feeling like his heart was living outside of his body. Constantly in danger of being ripped open by some dark and evil thing.

Ty had everything he thought he wanted. But it still wasnt enough.

During another sleepless night, Ty found himself wandering the institutes halls. At this point he was simply just overtired. Too many nights spent worrying or studying or reading instead of sleeping. Now his body doesn't remember how to rest. Ty was far too exhausted to operate on logic or reason so he found himself standing outside of Kit's door, wondering absentmindedly how he got there.

Ty placed his hand against the door, fighting the urge to open it and walk through. He can remember the first time he waited outside of Kit's door, just like it was yesterday. He had no idea at the time why he was so drawn to the mysterious boy who had shown up at the institute after Ty had threatened him with a knife. The boy who turned out to be a lost Herondale. And honestly after all of this time Ty still couldn't explain it.

This is a bad idea, He thought to himself as he slowly turned the doorknob. This is a terrible idea. Ty, driven by pure need like fire under his skin, pushed the door open.

Kit was awake as Ty suspected he would be, sitting by the window and staring out into the night sky. Under the moonlight he was glowing. He turned around to stare at Ty, first with a look of shock, and then that same hallow desperation Ty had been seeing on Kit's face lately.

He also looked angry.

"What the hell are you doing in here Ty?" He sounded exhausted. Ty almost felt guilty in a sense. He stared at Kit for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know," he whispered, staring at the ground. "I suppose I was compelled." Ty let his gaze slowly rise up Kit's body, drinking it in.

Kit scoffed harshly. "Compelled? By what exactly, Tiberius?"

Ty looked up at Kit's face in surprise. He rarely called Ty by his full name. Ty really didn't like how it felt. Cold and distant. Ty sighed, pushing his fingertips against his collarbone and tracing it slightly.

"I don't know. I guess I just needed to know. I need to know why you left me." Ty tried not to let himself sound desperate or weak, but he had become worn down by this point. He couldn't keep up his defenses much longer.

"Why didn't you want me?" He muttered. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

And there it was. The painful truth that Ty had been avoiding. The fact that Kit had tossed him aside just like so many had before. Like Paige. Like his father. He had always tried so hard to make people happy. To live up to their expectations. But in the end it didn't matter how hard he tried, sometimes there was just no pleasing certain people.

Sometimes it seemed like there was no point in being good and following the rules if nothing ever changed. If Ty always ended up in the same place. If people always saw him as a problem or an inconvenience or worse, then he could just live up to their expectations. Be selfish and cold and cruel because no amount of begging and smiling was going to earn him respect.

Kit glared at him in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here to play mind games with me?" Before Ty could register what was happening, Kit was storming towards him and shoving him up against the wall with a loud thunk.

The feeling of Kit touching him again after all this time was dizzying. Kit was shorter then him so he needed to crane his neck a little to look up at Ty, which meant that his throat was completely exposed for Ty to stare at.

"I told you how I felt and you did nothing! You ignored me!" Kit cried. "I wanted you more then I've ever wanted anything Ty! I still do!" Tears were streaming down his face. Ty stared at Kit, completely frozen. His wrists were pinned to the wall by Kit's hands and their faces were inches apart.

Ty struggled to collect himself. "I didn't know what was going on," he gasped out shakily. "I was a mess Kit. I just had to get her back. But-." He cut himself off. It was all for nothing. Ty had lost Livvy in the end and he had lost Kit as well.

Ty shook his head. "Does this mean that you love me?" His voice sounded so far away. Like the words were being pulled from some unexpected place within him. Kit let out a soft gasp and squeezed his eyes shut before fixing his expression into a blank slate. He leaned forward slightly so that their lips were just barely touching, then gently trailed his mouth across Ty's cheek to his ear.

Ty felt him smirk slightly before Kit whispered in his ear. "Go to sleep Ty. Go back to your boyfriend."

And before Ty had time to think, he was lashing out. He shoved Kit backwards as hard as he could with a snarl. Kit went flying across the room and slammed into the opposite wall. If Kit had been human it probably would have knocked him out. Ty stared in horror at what he had done as Kit clutched his ribs and groaned.

"You seriously have some anger management issues!" Kit snapped at him, glaring pointedly. Ty knew that. When he was younger he used to have fits of uncontrollable rage all the time. Words didnt come easily to him so he would hit, scratch, bite or throw whatever was closest to make people realize he was in pain. When he wanted to say "don't touch me" or "you hurt my feelings" but he just could make the words form properly, he would get angry. And then he would lash out.

Ty thought he had been getting better at managing his emotions and communicating. But there was something about Kit Herondale that just evaporated every last bit of logic and reason he had until all that was left was the urge to scream.

Ty gaped in shock, searching for the right thing to say. "By the angel Kit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that I swear!" He pleaded. His fingers were beginning to shake and flutter at his sides. He tapped desperately against his thigh, scratching at the material of his sweatpants to try and calm himself down.

Kit just shook his head and laughed humourlessly. "Honestly Ty, we should just tell the Seelie Queen not to worry. And Janus, and all the other people who want the first heir dead. You'll destroy me just fine on your own." He gaze was piercing and ruthless.

Ty's breathing was frantic and erratic as he shook in agony. He could feel he was on the urge of a meltdown.

Kit pulled himself to his feet. He stared at Ty longingly and then smiled slightly. A genuine smile. "But honestly what a way to go. Does that answer your question sweetheart?"

Ty gasped soundlessly, his hands shaking at his sides. He fought to get a hold of himself. Kit studied Ty for a moment, then slowly began to approach him.

"Why are you here Ty? Why did you come here exactly?" Kit was speaking in a soft lulling voice as if he was trying to hypnotize Ty.

"I'm here because I miss you," Ty admitted. "It's confusing. Because I'm still mad at you. But I can't stop thinking about you." Ty felt as though he was close to crying, which was concerning because he rarely ever cried.

Only for Kit.

Kit scowled at him slightly. "You're with someone else, remember?"

Guilt instantly pierced through Ty's chest. "Yeah I know, I'm a terrible person," he said bitterly. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had been trying this whole time to distract himself from Kit. That he was using Anush. But that was technically true. Ty saw the opportunity to lose himself in a pretty boy with an honest smile who loved him wholeheartedly.

Ty thought he could forget but then here he was. All roads led to Kit Herondale.

Kit sighed and reached for Ty, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "You arent terrible. You're spiraling. And you come to me like I can save you from yourself? Please," Kit chuckled. "I can barely save myself."

"I don't need you to save me."

Kit stared at him with an expression that was hard to place. Then he smiled, but it wasnt a kind smile. It was a satisfied, knowing smirk. Kit traced his thumb under Ty's chin then back up to his lips, forcing them to part slightly.

"You think I don't know why you're here love?" He cooed in a voice that was both soothing and alluring. You think I don't know what you're after?" Kit sighed, sounding a little worn down. "If I was a better person, a stronger person. I would tell you to leave." He dipped his hands down underneath Ty's shirt.

Ty shivered at the cold feeling against his skin. He dropped his forhead down to lean against Kit's, revealing in the contact. "Lucky for you," Kit whispered against his lips, "I'm not."

Ty felt the last string of his self control snap as he kissed Kit roughly, grabbing onto his torso and pulling him closer. Kit responded to the kiss eagerly, parting his lips for Ty and laughing deliriously as their lips met again and again.

Kit was tearing off Ty's shirt as he walked him backwards, closer to the bed. As soon as he had slid it off if Ty's body, Kit tossed the shirt aside and went back to kissing him. Ty felt his knees hit the bed frame and he fell backwards onto the soft welcoming mattress, pulling Kit down with him.

Kit kissed a line down Ty's neck to his pulse point and Ty groaned, burying his fingers in Kit's curls. He was lost in a sea of pure desperation.

"Tell me to stop," Kit whispered between kisses. Ty froze for a moment. Then he understood.

Kit was giving him an out.

Ty responded by pulling Kit even closer and letting his head fall back against the pillows.

He closed his eyes and let Kit Herondale ruin him.

The morning after was the hardest. Ty pulled himself from Kit's arms and forced himself not to look back.

And that was when he finally cried.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WHAT THE HELL FAE! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS OMG 😭

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #twp #tw violence #tw cheating #cw toxic behavior #cw toxic relationship

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saeransangel · 5 years ago

Text

Fine Line

Spencer Reid x Reader

*Trigger Warning*

Warnings: addiction(use of narcotics/opioids), swearing, angst

**This is in NO way condoning the use of drugs or glorifying/romanticizing addiction... Many of the things in here are based off personal experiences I’ve been through in the past. I know how draining and horrible it is. This is a vent piece for me. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with reading about drug use.

The reader starts to fall into a rough group of friends while occupying time when Spencer is away. As Spencer starts to catch on to her blossoming addiction, the reader admits she needs help.

Word Count: 2496.

You and your boyfriend, Spencer had finally gotten into bed together after a long day. He had just gotten back from a case in California and was completely exhausted. You on the other hand, were still recovering from a party you went to yesterday. You were told the night was fun, but it was all a blurred memory to you. After about three hours of sleeping together, the phone rings. It was Spencer’s cell.

“Hello?” He answered, his voice sounded tired and drained. You both knew it was the BAU calling. You sighed in annoyance. He had just gotten back, you haven’t gotten to spend any quality time together in two weeks and it was putting a strain on your relationship. Neither one of you said anything, but you could feel it. It was starting to feel different. The connection between you wasn’t as strong as it always had been, and that worried you. But you were too scared to bring it up. Not that there was ever time anyways.

“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Spencer said after a while. He hung up the phone and got out of bed, careful not to disturb you, though you were already awake.

“Spence, again?” You sighed.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I should only be gone a few days, then we can spend all week together.” He promised. You knew he was trying and it was just apart of the job, but recently it’s been too much. You’ve spent too much time away from him.

“You said that last time, Spencer.” It came out more aggressive than you wanted and you instantly felt bad.

His eyes softened as he looked towards you. He sat down beside you and embraced you gently. “I really am sorry, Y/N. I love you so much, but this is my job.” He sounded so upset, knowing he hurt you. Slowly, you melted into his arms and wrapped your own around his slim figure.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just miss you so much when you’re gone.” You whispered, almost tearing up at the thought of being without him again. It might seem dramatic for only a few days, but he was your moral compass. It was hard without him around.

He kissed your forehead and gave you one last loving embrace before grabbing his Go Bag and leaving the bedroom.

As you lied back down into the now empty bed, you felt like you were sinking already. What was the point of this relationship if it was a constant revolving door of leaving and being together? Before you could get too deep into your thoughts, you heard a ping sound come from your phone.

“Hey, Y/N, I know we just raged together last night, but I miss you so much already lol! Come to my place right now. Zoe is bringing the usual. It’s gonna be fun!!”

It was your friend Sam inviting you over for a party...at 2 am. You sat and stared at the message, wondering if it was a good idea to go. Your body still hadn’t fully recovered from last night, but you didn’t want to be alone tonight. You shot back a quick response and put some different clothes on that were fit for this type of party. As you headed out the door, your body was already feeling excited for the rush this night was going to give you.

When you arrived at Sam’s house, you took a deep and shaky breath. Was this really what you wanted to turn to? Finding comfort in a six hour euphoria? Whatever your better judgement told you, it was too late. You were already getting out of the car and walking up to the house that was flooding with people and blaring loud music. You stepped through the front door and took in your surroundings. Sam, Zoe and a few other people you recognized were sitting on the large sectional couch, passing a blunt around with each other.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Zoe shouted over the music. You approach the group with a vibrant smile. You took the blunt from Sam and took a long drag off it. The smoke filled your lungs. It felt good, you slowly started to relax.

“You look like shit.” Sam said bluntly. “What happened to you?”

A long sigh escaped from your lips. “I’m still a mess from last night I guess.” You replied trying to just laugh it off.

“It’s more than that, tell us what’s wrong?” She pushed. You didn’t really want to tell her, but at the same time you needed to vent. They were always there for you. Why was now any different?

“It’s Spencer. He’s always leaving me because he has to go fly across the country to do whatever it is he’s doing!” You didn’t mean for that to sound as selfish as it did, and you knew if Spencer ever heard you say that he would be crushed. He loved you unconditionally, and here you were acting self-centered and mean. “He’s means well though, I know he loves me. But it’s hard someti-”

Zoe spoke up. “Save it, Y/N/N. We understand.” You gave her an apologetic smile. You shouldn’t have said anything. Spencer is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, even if he was gone more often than you would like, you loved him and he would never talk about you like this. The feeling of missing him was being overtaken by the guilt you felt from talking about him leaving. Tears welled in your eyes. You looked down to try and hide the fact that you were now a teary mess.

“Y/N/N, we’re here for you.” Sam said while rubbing circles on the small of your back. The music was blaring so loud you almost didn’t hear her. You recognized the song. CANT SAY By Travis Scott. You smiled, remembering all the amazing ragers you went to with Sam, Zoe, and the others.

Your reminiscing was cut short. You noticed Zoe placed a small bag on the table that everyone was sitting around. There where small, circular, white pills inside. Your heart dropped into your stomach. “Is that...” Your voice trailed off.

“Oxy? Yes, ma’am it is.” Zoe smirked. You instantly got the feeling you shouldn’t have come tonight. In the past you struggled with a lot of substance abuse issues. Opioids in particular. It started after a surgery, Valium, then Hydrocodone, then it escalated to Oxycontin. You even rolled on molly every so often. But you went to rehab about three years ago. You were clean, apart from the occasional marijuana use which seemed to becoming more and more frequent.

“I don’t know if I should. I haven’t in years.” You try and protest. They didn’t seem to care. Zoe grabbed two out of the bag and held them out for you. Upon reflex, you opened your hand and watched as the two pills fell into the palm of your hand. The whole group was looking at you, waiting. Sam popped one into her mouth and swallowed it. She looked eagerly at you. Part of you didn’t want to throw all the years of sobriety down the drain, but the bigger part of you wanted to stop feeling the guilt and the loneliness you felt when Spencer was away.

You didn’t even remember putting them in your mouth, you just remember the feeling of them sliding down your throat. After about twenty minutes, you felt the effects of the narcotic. Your body felt light and weightless. Your thoughts were cloudy. Why were you even here? This is fun right? As you danced through the crowd with your friends, you felt a moment of euphoria as ypu forgot the reason you came here in the first place.

Two Days Later...

You woke up on a scratchy couch that was definitely not apart of your home. You took in your surroundings, head pounding. You were still at Sam’s house. You grabbed your phone to check the time. It was probably late the next day...

“It’s been two days?” You gasped. You shot up, looking for Sam. Her house was so big, you didn’t even know where to look. Luckily you didn’t have to go far. She was in the kitchen with Zoe and another guy named Jared. They all laughed and turned towards you as you walked in.

“Look who decided to wake up,” Zoe teased.

You glared at her. “It’s not funny.” You spat. “How long was I asleep?”

“Only, like ten hours, chill.” Sam laughed awkwardly.

“I got here Friday night, its Sunday now.” You were growing impatient. So many questions raced through your mind.

“Yeah... we were together partying all weekend, are you okay?” Zoe urged.

“I don’t remember anything except for Friday night.” You admitted. Instinctively you checked your phone again. Your eyes widened.

Missed Calls: Spencer Reid(16)

Upon looking further you found dozens of texts, to which you replied, “At Sam’s party!” You had no recollection of sending that.

Spence: What?! Why are you with her??

The most recent text was from a few hours ago.

Spence: Hey angel, I’m just checking in on you... You’ve sent me one text the past couple days. Are we okay? I love you so much. I’ll be home in a few hours. Please call me.

Your heart broken into a million pieces. Your free hand covered your mouth in an attempt to stop the sobs from coming out of your mouth. You stared down and the phone in your shaky hands. He knew who these girls were. He knew they always were trouble and fueled your addiction in the past. You knew he was concerned for you. The thought of him being upset and not being able to see you was suffocating. Zoe and Sam rushed over to you right away.

“Hun, what’s wrong.” Sam pleaded with you. You didn’t want to be here anymore. You hated them for doing this to you. For doing this to Spencer. You hated yourself even more. You needed to get out.

“Get away from me.” You cried. Fighting there grip, you pulled away from them. You ran into the living room and sat on the floor, back leaning against the sofa.

The two girls followed you into the living room, worried looks strewn across their face. Before they could say anything, the doorbell rang. Sam paused before going to open the door.

“Spencer...” She exclaimed surprised. You looked up. The tears wouldn’t stop falling now.

“Y/N, where is she?” He said sternly and he pushed his way through the door. He looked around for a minute before his eyes finally fell on you. He immediately rushed over to you. The look in his brown eyes told you that he knew what you had done. You knew you looked like a mess. It was a dead give away.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer.” You sobbed. His warm arms wrapped around you so tightly you thought you couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t mind. You needed this.

“You’re going to be okay, Y/N. We can get through this. I promise.” He whispered. You closed your eyes and melted into his comforting touch.

“Is she going to be okay?” Zoe pressed. “I mean, you keep leaving her to go do God knows what. Did you know that’s why she came here.”

Spencer’s grip on you loosened. He leaned back to get a good look at you, trying to see if it was true. NO. This was not his fault. Not after everything he’s been through. You’d be damned if you were going to let him think this was his fault too.

“Shut up.” You said venomously. She shot you a confused glare. “Don’t you ever speak to him like that EVER!”

“What? I’m trying to defend you?” She shouted. You couldn’t believe her. You couldn’t believe yourself. Everything felt like it was spiraling.

“You’re not defending me. You’re trying to drive the one person that loves me away!” You were screaming now.

Zoe walked closer to you, she was in your face. “At least I care about you!” Her voiced boomed through the house.

“If you really cared about me you wouldn’t have gave me the fucking drugs in the first place.” You wailed. Spencer grabbed you arm. Your head whipped back to look at him. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. You let out a despondent sigh at the sight of him. You never wanted any of this. You just wanted him to stay. Now look what happened.

Lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed Spencer guiding you out the door. He put his arm around you, and without another word to Sam or Zoe, you got into his car.

It was silent for the whole car ride home. You were thinking of all the ways to apologize to him, all the reasons he had to leave you, all the reasons why you didn’t deserve him. When you both arrived back to his apartment, you broke down.

“Spencer, I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault. None of this is.” You sobbed.” It’s all mine. I’m sorry. I love you so much. Please, don’t lea-”

You were cut off by a pair of strong arms embracing you. How did you get so lucky to have a man like Spencer in your life? “Y/N, it’s okay.” He cooed.

“It’s not!” you cried, pushing him away. He looked confused and sad, which only made you cry more. “I’m supposed to take care of you. You’ve gone through so much with your job, your mom, everything. You don’t deserve this, Spence. I don’t deserve you.”

He examined your weak figure before giving you the softest smile you’ve ever seen. “If there’s one thing you have taught me, Y/N, it’s that it’s okay to need a little help sometimes. Recovery is not linear. Slip ups can happen. I know you didn’t want this, but I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” He declared. He slowly wrapped his arms around you again and you let him. He held you as you cried and he didn’t let go even when you stopped the relentless sobbing. His soft hands traced patterns on your back while he listened to your breathing regulate.

“Nothing you could ever do would make me leave you.” He whispered. “Because I love you. Nothing can change that.”

You kissed his neck delicately, amazed at how insanely lucky you were to have him around. “Thank you Spencer. I love you so fucking much.” He held you tighter, letting you know that you were safe and everything was going to be okay.

A tear slipped down your cheek. But this wasn’t from sadness. It was from adoration. You knew with your full heart that Spencer loved you, and he was going to get through this with you. One step at a time.

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squirrel-moose-winchester · 5 years ago

Text

A Demon’s Trap

Title: A Demon’s Trap

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1156

Square Filled: Crowley

Summary: You seek protection from Crowley, who seemed to want the same thing you and Sam did – to turn Dean back into a human, but you come to find out, you can never trust a demon, much less the King of Hell.

Warning: SMUT, Fingering, Forced Orgasms, Squirting, Oral (Male Receiving), Overall Dark Themes (because Dean’s a demon, and so is Crowley).

Written for @spndeanbingo

A/N: This is based off of a video I happened to stumble upon on Tumblr, and let me tell you… it was fucking HOT! Don’t ask for the link because it’s long gone and I wouldn’t even know where to begin to find it for those select naughty girls. Lol. Happy Reading! And remember, 18+ ONLY!

Disclaimer: Not my gif.

You didn’t know how Dean found you. Crowley had given his word to protect you if you and Sam promised to cure Dean. Apparently, Dean and a demon is more troublesome than Dean as a human. Crowley’s protection was supposed to be secure, and yet here you were, trapped in some godforsaken room with the one man you were trying to hide from. Not to mention he had you bare and completely at his mercy.

The days had gone by and you’ve already lost count. It was hard to focus when all Dean’s done was force orgasm after orgasm out of you, until you’d passed out. Luckily, he’d give you some time to recover, to hydrate, and eat. At least he understood that you were still human.

Today, he had you squatting on the floor stark naked, back pressed against the couch with your bent legs spread wide open, exposing your smooth cunt. Dean admired the position, eyes resting longer over your breasts than you sweet pussy. He groaned in approval, liking his lips predatorily.

Just by the way he looked at you had your chest heaving with anticipation, your drenched pussy craving anything and everything he had to offer. As much as you hated being with him at first, begged him to stop, the pleasure eventually took over and all your body did was desire his touch. Desire him.

A loud moan escaped you as he bent over and used his calloused hand to slowly caress your hairless pussy, smearing your arousal through your folds and clit. You reveled in the feel of his touch, another string of whimpers slipping passed your lips as he sank two thick fingers into you, pumping slowly, grazing over all the parts of you that made your body sing. “Yes, yes,” you chanted, “slowly, please. Just like that.” Your pussy was raw and sensitive from the onslaught he’d given you yesterday and all the days before that. The gentle touch was exactly what you needed. It was enough to get the heat rising deep inside you.

With out warning, Dean curled his digits and your eyes rolled back before snapping shut at the sensation, but Dean demanded you to look at him. You dared not refuse his commands less you wanted to be punished. When your eyes opened, they were met with carbon eyes, and a wicked smirk. “You don’t tell me what to do, Sweetheart.”

He started to pump his hand violently, the obscene squelching sound of your wetness echoing through the room, and not even five seconds later, heat exploded through your body and you were coming hard, screaming as you squirted against his fingers like a fountain, your juices pooling on the floor below you as he retracted his fingers in favor to rub your pulsing pussy, his hand running over your clit to prolong your release. Immediately after he stuck his fingers in you again, curling them as he pummeled viciously, eliciting another orgasm, your pussy squirting once again while he rubbed your clit. Not bothering to wait, his fingers delved into your heat a third time, his fingers curled as he pumped inside you, watching as you continued to squirt. You tried to push his hand away, clawing against his arm, but you were too strung out in bliss to find any sort of strength. Your legs shook, and your tried to shut your thighs, but it was impossible.

“Fuck,” Dean grunted, pleased at how much and how strong he could make you come. He shoved his fingers in you again, relishing in the sounds of your desperation, and how your body tried to get away from his, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. Hell no. You barely lasted a second before you were coming again, your body twitching, knees flying open and closed through your release. Again he made his way inside you, and you came apart, your body twitching as your ass finally hit the floor, you sitting in your own puddle of arousal.

Burring his hand in your hair, he pulled you back up onto your original squatting position so that you were no longer sitting on the ground. Again, he shoved his finger in your sopping cunt, curled and pumping, and you looked at him with pure hopelessness, begging him to stop. Telling him that you couldn’t come again. That it was impossible, but he kept going and in record time, your pussy was convulsing around his appendages all over again, leaking and adding more of your juices on the floor.

Dean finally pulled his hands away, only to grip onto your head and shove his cock passed your swollen lips. You sucked him off eagerly to thank him for the short break from the abuse he was reeking on your overly sensitive cunt, but then Dean tangled one of his hands in your hair, taking control of your movements and shoved himself as far down as he could in your throat. It had you going dizzy. He did it over and over again, the tip of his cock hitting it’s limit every time.

While you sucked his cock, Dean maneuvered you onto your knees so your chest was resting on the couch. Dean bent over at his waist and buried his fingers inside you again, pumping you from behind. The sensation took your lips away from his cock as you moaned over and over again, trying your best to at least pump his shaft, but you were finding it way too difficult, and in no time at all, you were coming around his hand again, your entire upper body now resting on the couch for support, as your thighs quivered, the flesh rippling.

Dean pushed down on your back, your chest flush against the leather while he moved to stand behind you, spreading his legs on either side of your hips and bending down to shove his dick in your used hole. You screamed as he entered you, his cock filling you up. He hammered down on your pussy, conjuring a chorus of incoherent words to pass your lips.

He was huge. Never had you felt so full… and never had you been so used. His fingers were magic, and his cock was supernatural, hitting places you never knew existed, and making your body thrum like a violin.

“Oh god, I’m coming,” you managed to say, and Dean pulled out, your pussy clenching around nothing as your legs shook. He smacked your ass before, once again, shoving his fingers deep inside you. Pumping, he managed to get one last orgasm from you before your body went limp against the couch and on the floor.

“I’m glad Crowley was able to find me my favorite toy,” Dean chuckled, leaving you there completely spent. That’s when it hit you, Crowley never meant to protect you. From the very beginning, this whole thing had been a trap. A demon’s trap.

A/N: I hope you liked it. I’d appreciate a little feedback and a reblog, just to get my fic circulating :) Thanks again for reading! xx

#spndeanbingo #SPN Dean Bingo #spndeanbingo2019 #dean winchester x reade #dean x reader #demon!dean x reader #dean winchester #dean #demon!dean #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #demon!dean fan fiction #demon!dean fan fic #demon!dean winchester x reader #demon!dean winchester fan fiction #demon!dean winchester fan fic #crowley #a demon's trap #squirrel-moose-winchester

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zhongli-simp-blog · 4 years ago

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First Date

Pairings: Lee Jong-Suk x Male Reader

A/N: Part 2 (I pinned Part 1 cause idk how to to edit the link to it cause me=stupid lol so it will be at the top of my page) but I hope you all enjoy it :)

We made our way walking through the strangely empty park in the middle of the day, “where are we going Mr. Lee,” you ask pretending to be all formal causing him to laugh. “If I tell you now then it won’t be a surprise now will it?” Curving his lips into a smirk. He continued leading you through the park until you both reached a small pond with a string of flowers across the walkway leading to a gazebo with different beds of roses surrounding it.

You could hardly keep your eyes off of the beautiful scenery that you almost tripped feeling a hand grab on to yours pulling you back up a little too fast that you crashed into Jong-Suk’s body causing both of you to tumble backward. All you could do is stare into his shining chocolate eyes stunned by the close contact, a smile appeared on his face snapping you out of your shocked state. “O-oh I-I-i’m sorry,” you stutter out, you regain your balance helping Jong-Suk back to his feet.

Feeling bad about the clumsy moment you couldn’t look him in the eye while continuing walking to the gazebo, “I apologize, I get told that I can be clumsy at times and mess things up.” You say looking down avoiding any eye contact at all, without saying anything Jong-Suk laid his arm around your shoulders cause you to finally look at him and seeing the most gentle smile ever.

You both finally reached the gazebo that had a bench in the middle that had a variety of foods laid out, you looked in awe at well-prepared everything was. There was a white silky table cloth draped over with four vases with various flowers picked from the surrounding flower beds, and scented candles that smelled like lavender that complimented the flower smell.

“I spend all day yesterday and night after being with you preparing this,” Jong-Suk admitted his cheeks turning rose red for the first time since you guys met. “You spent all that time preparing this? How did you know I would say yes?” You ask still taking in the view in front. He let out a small shrug, “I wished for the best, to be honested I didn’t think you would say yes either.” He admitted guiding you to your seat “but I am forever grateful that you agreed,” you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that you were glad to agree too.

Jong-Suk took his seat across from you filling a plate with different kinds of food and placing it in front of you, after preparing his plate you both began to eat the food which tasted delicious in every way. “You want to know the secret to why the food is so good?” He asks and you looked at him puzzled but also worried about what he put in the food, he saw your facial expression and started laughing uncontrollably, “I didn’t poison the food is that is what you were thinking!” He finally says after getting under control, “I cooked all of it, just for you.” And your eyes widened to his confession “you cooked all of this?” You asked surprised at his amazing cooking skills.

“I wanted everything to be perfect and so I couldn’t just have someone else cook,” he said taking another bite. “You didn’t have to do all this for me Jong-Suk,” you said feeling kinda bad about the hard work he put into it. He placed his hand over yours “you are the first person I have ever done this for,” he admitted with a shy smile. The rest of the day of finishing the food and talking about different things.

Time seemed to fly by cause you and he noticed how it started to get darker. You starting helping Jong-Suk with cleaning up the table even though he kept on trying to stop you. “Where do you want me to put all this?” You ask and he guides you to a black range rover which you assume to his as he opens the trunk, “You can put everything back here” you obliged and put everything into the trunk.

After putting everything inside and close the trunk he walks over and opens the passenger door, “get in.” He says as he gestures his hand to the open seat, “but my hotel is just down the road, I can walk” he shakes his head walking towards you, “first what makes you think I will ever let you walk alone, second who said I was taking you home?” He smiles “this date is not over yet,” and you look at him in disbelief that he had more planned. “I am nowhere near ready to let the night end yet and don’t worry I won’t do anything like that if that is what you are worried about.”

After multiple attempts of convincing you, you finally got into the car. Jong-Suk reached over to put your seatbelt on and you can feel the heat from his body radiate causing you to attempt to hide your never-ending blushing. “Did you know that you look extremely beautiful when you blush,” he whispers into your ear as he pulls away after buckling you in and closing the door. You couldn’t help but let out a small but quick squeal before he entered the driver’s side.

The driver wasn’t long until he parked on the side and had you get out, you looked around and saw a whole street lit with street and shop lights. “What is all this?” you asked not really asking anybody. “This is what I call ‘Perfect way to end a date,’” he said gesturing to everything. He grabbed your hand holding you close so you won’t get lost in the huge crowd guiding you to different shops and food stands, even though you guys already ate.

Your eyes spotted a mini arcade with different machines with the crane inside and different prizes. You couldn’t help but walk into it glancing at the different small stuffed animals inside, “is there any particular one that you want?” The taller one asked resting his head on your shoulder. “Nothing yet I am just browsing,” you lie knowing that the actor will use his money to win it for you not wanting to burden him anymore. Attempting to walk away he holds you in place, “you don’t have to lie Y/N, I am willing to do it for you,” Jong-Suk says almost like he was able to read your thoughts. “If you don’t tell me I start playing until I win something, even if I spend all my money,” he says with a cocky tote. You sigh knowing already arguing with him is nearly impossible.

After what felt like hours but really was twenty minutes you and the actor walked out with a mini plushie. “I guess these muscles are good for winning games too I guess,” Jong-Suk said flexing his arms. “Those small muscles you mean?” You joked and before you could react you felt Jong-Suk’ arms wrap around your waist, “big enough to hold you and not let go” he said burying his face into your neck. “I never want to let go either,” his words were muffled but audible and you just smiled at his soft-hearted confession. “Then don’t” is all you could say at that moment and you bet your ass he did not let go for the rest of the night.

Jong-Suk was standing outside your hotel room still holding you not wanting to let go, “does it really have to end? Can’t it continue Y/N?” The taller one says tightening his hold. “Don’t think of it ending just think of it as a pause until the next time,” you said running your hand through his hair. You could feel the smile forming against your neck, “does that mean there will be a second date?” He says standing straight again, you nod to his question. You lean up and give the actor a peck on the cheek, “only if you want it to continue.” And he nodded excitedly.

“But for now you should go home and get some sleep,” you try to push him towards the exit. You turn to open your door only to be pushed in and the door already closed and Jong-Suk inside. “What are you doing?” Confused as to what the actor was doing. He said nothing but took his shoes making his way to the bed patting the empty spot next to him. “I said at your home, not my room,” you chuckle but giving in.

The actor covered you with the blankets bringing you closer to him with your head pressed against his chest. “You said to never let you go and I am fulfilling that promise,” Jong-Suk finally admitted. You snuggled closer to him inhaling his cologne, “have a goodnight’s sleep Jong-Suk” you say lazily letting the sleep take you.

“Good night Y/N my little prince,” Jong-Suk says placing a small kiss on the top of your head.

#lee jong suk #Lee Jong Suk x Male Reader #Kdrama x male reader #kpop x male reader #fluff #Lee Jong Suk x Reader

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pawprintsmoon · 4 years ago

Text

Henry knew

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28968006/chapters/71477736

Part III

“Friends”

Henry knew that he couldn’t interfere with or hasten Alex’s journey of self discovery, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for Henry to stifle the fantasies he’d been having for years. Fantasies where Alex would take his hand, kiss his palm, and admit his feelings. He imagined telling Alex everything he knew about Queer history, teaching him all the brilliant things two men can do with their bodies. Though it would be a disaster, he wished he could help Alex figure it all out. Though it would be a disaster, he wishes Alex would just figure it out on his own already.

There is something incredibly seductive about somebody wanting you desperately, even if they don’t know about their feelings. Henry knew that Alex longed for their long texting conversations as much as he did and when Henry sent him mirror shots, he knew that Alex must unknowingly be wishing the prince was shirtless in them. It was fortunate that they're an ocean apart, because if they spent any real time together, even the hopeless first son would notice their undeniable chemistry. Disaster. The whole thing reeked of inevitable heartbreak.

At some point Henry decided that they could be friends.

Because it would all be okay, as long as Alex kept thinking they were just friends. Friends that text every day, every hour. They memorized each other’s sleep cycles and had a constant stream of conversation going. Henry never left his phone unattended and every time he got a text he hoped it was from Alex. They talked about anything and nothing, and every morning Henry sent Alex a snap of him having his tea. Alex would often respond with a selfie in bed and Henry would have to take deep breaths and try not to encourage him too much.

But the truth was, Henry’s heart skipped a beat every time Alex initiated a conversation.

Alex: Nora made me delicious cookies

Henry: Biscuits, you mean.

Alex: stop being so british

Henry: I’m the Prince of Wales, Alex. Being British kind of comes with the territory.

Alex: they’re really good cookies :-P

Henry: Can I have one?

Alex: hmmmm think you can fly across the ocean before the melty choc chips get cold?

Henry: Probably not… Alex: Would you if you could?

Henry didn’t respond to that right away.

Henry: Ugh, now I want cookies. Why would you mention cookies when I can’t have any? Rude.

There was a double meaning there, but Henry was fairly certain that Alex wouldn’t pick up on it.

Alex: It was a conversation starter

Henry: Well it’s a rubbish conversation starter

Alex: yeah? well we’re conversing, aren’t we? checkmate bitch.

Alex was so himself. The guy completely lacked a filter and seemed to have no problem exposing to Henry the innermost depths of his mind. The way he’d seek out playful arguments was like watching a fifth grade boy flirt, but it was endearing. Henry found himself opening up as well, despite his better judgement. He loved the way Alex casually used pet names, and he melted when Alex gave him his full attention, which he frequently did. Sometimes Alex would text him with ‘xoxo’s.’

Henry was so eager (and apprehensive) that even the mention of LGBT filled him rushes of excitement. It was one of their slow conversations that intermittently interrupted their busy day. Replies were squeezed in between meetings and classes, and this constant texting back and forth was the dizzying background track of Henry’s life.

Alex: Where do I find a best friend like Pez?

Henry: Grinder.

Alex: lo no really. How did you meet him?

Henry: At a Drag Show in Soho.

Alex: noooo really??

Henry: You’re surprised by that? Pez is the epitome of pansexual, Alex. He’s also vaguely gender queer and very polyamorous. You couldn’t possibly not have noticed that.

Alex: yeah duh i totally knew that ;) I wasn’t born yesterday sweet cheeks

Henry: Of course not.

Sometimes it got even more dangerous:

Alex: yo, what's your type?

Henry: Kind, driven, brunette, dumb, good sense of humor

Alex: oh, that sounds kind of like me... too bad I'm not a girl lol

Henry: ...did I mention dumb?

Alex: yeah

Henry: ok just making sure

On those days it was both painful and reassuring to know how completely clueless Alex was. On other days Alex would be completely on point:

Alex: what ya doin?

Henry: I’ve just finished my dance class and am taking David on a walk in the rose garden.

Alex: are you singing to the birds?

Henry: Indeed, a lovesick ballad about wishes coming true.

Alex: *gif of Snow White with a bird on her finger* you ever get sick of being a fairy princess?

Henry: That’s fairy prince, thank you.

Henry: And yes, I often wile away my days in the tallest tower, yearning for my true love.

Alex: o be still my beating heart *audio recording of Alex singing ‘someday my prince will come’*

Of course, Alex had no idea how on point he was. Henry rolled his eyes, shoved his phone back in his pocket, and had that Sleeping Beauty Disney song stuck in his head the rest of the day.

One night, he was lying alone on his golden bed, staring at his phone and thinking about Alex. He typed words into a text...

“You’re beautiful.”.

... but never send it. He backspaced and took a breath before typing something else…

“I really like you.”

...and back space again. He loved how he felt like he was teetering at the edge of a precipice. The risk that his thumb might accidentally hit ‘return’ teased him. Enticed him.

“Maybe we could be a thing?”

But no. Backspace. He scowled and threw his phone down to his mattress in frustration. A second later his phone buzzed and he grabbed it back up to see a snap of a disheveled Alex praying to the coffee gods at his desk.

Most days Henry was able to cope with the constant frustration, but then one night Alex called him about babysitting turkeys. Their first phone conversation was absolutely ridiculous and included Alex saying both the word “sensual” and “cute.” When it was time, Henry really needed to go to sleep, but they didn’t know how to hang up from a phone conversation yet.

“Okay,” Alex said softly.

“Okay,” Henry agreed.

“Okay,” Alex said again, his voice sweet and electric. Henry knew that this was a ‘ no, you hang up first’ moment, and his face lit up with a lazy smile. His heart felt so big.

“Okay,” Henry repeated. “So. Good night.”

“Cool,” Alex said, almost a whisper. “Good night.”

When Alex texted him immediately after the conversation with the lame excuse of needing animal pictures, Henry began to realize that there was no way that Alex would stay oblivious for long. Worse, Henry knew that he wouldn’t be able to say no to the beautiful American boy once he finally figured it out.

#having lots of fun with this #hope you are too!#the yo what's your type text conversation is borrowed from #Claremonte-holleran #red white & royal blue #fanfiction #henry knew #rwrb ao3 #rwrb #First Prince

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freddve · 4 years ago

Note

🍷 😳 💋 😱 ✨ 😡 😬 😢 😁 💕

send 🍷 for a drunk text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 4:32 am ]: i beliEV E i cand flyyy freddie [ sent at 4:32 am ]: i go tO FLYYYY

send 😳 for an embarrassing text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 9:51 pm ]: hey freddie [ sent at 9:51 pm ]: i wanted 2 scare u bt im trapped in a damn toilet window i cant move freddie [ sent at 9:52 pm ]: please i cant feel my back freddie [ sent at 9:55 pm ]: its not funny toni please freddie [ sent at 9:59 pm ]: i am claustrophobic darren!!!!!!!

send 💋 for a flirty text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 3:27 am ]: cant sleep. freddie [ sent at 3:29 am ]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEpmUUEkrKM freddie [ sent at 3:30 am ]: consider this my official proposal. freddie [ sent at 3:30 am ]: change my contact name 2 wifey now

send 😱 for a scared text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 1:12 am ]: i think im haunted freddie [ sent at 1:12 am ]: no its not my grandma peach i’m familiar with her presence freddie [ sent at 1:12 am ]: this one feels different freddie [ sent at 1:12 am ]: highkey evil vibes. freddie [ sent at 1:13 am ]: i dont like this freddie [ sent at 1:13 am ]: can i come over?????

send ✨ for a random text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 6:32 am ]: i lost my shoe

send 😡 for an angry text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 7:57 am ]: fucking hell antonia i can’t fly? freddie [ sent at 7:58 am ]: ig i tried to bc i woke up at the bottom of my stairs freddie [ sent at 7:59 am ]: why didnt you tell me that before?????? freddie [ sent at 7:59 am ]: plotting my downfall, i see.

send 😬 for a worried text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 1:07 pm ]: morning miss antonella kavinswan :-) freddie [ sent at 2:16 pm ]: helloooooo freddie [ sent at 2:19 pm ]: are you avoiding me freddie [ sent at 2:36 pm ]: ???? open the door come on freddie [ sent at 2:38 pm ]: i dont see lights. i dont hear shit. freddie [ sent at 2:39 pm ]: im gnna fucking break ur door. i know karate and im strong freddie [ sent at 2:43 pm ]: you havent texted me since yesterday. where are you? freddie [ sent at 2:49 pm ]: you’re still here.. right??

send 😢 for a sad text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 12:01 am]: that’s it lol freddie [ sent at 12:01 am]: dad forgot my birthday :D freddie [ sent at 12:02 am]: mom too :DDDd freddie [ sent at 12:02 am]: so thoughtful of them <3

send 😁 for a happy text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 7:28 pm]: spent the whole day photshopping michael & i <3 freddie [ sent at 7:28 pm]: feels like we’re rly a couple. i love it freddie [ sent at 7:29 pm]: omg wait i photoshop you too now we’re a thruple !!!! hehehehe

send 💕 for a loving text from my muse

freddie [ sent at 3:08 pm]: i saw ur face in a cloud freddie [ sent at 3:10 pm]: sorry : ( tried to capture it fr you bt im not a great photographer :/ freddie [ sent at 3:12 pm]: but trust me it was so pretty. like made me almost believe gods real lol. thanks toni

#ft. antonia #corny u loser. post ur inbox next. i deserve anterica memes too.#also wrote these while i ws listening to my criticism zoom. i said no<3 uni yes anterica <3 #so they're nt tht good bt. do i care? nt really.#hh.

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blackcoffeeandblankpagess · 4 years ago

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Yesterday we went to the white water center which is one of our faves in charlotte, this is the third time we’ve gone in the past year, last summer we spent a whole day there ziplining, climbing, rafting, etc. During thanksgiving break we went ice skating and yesterday we went kayaking which was way more enjoyable than I expected. I’ve kayaked quite a bit in my life but am not generally a fan so that was a nice surprise lol. The best part was def the like..10(?) turtles we saw in total.

We packed sandwiches I had made that were GOOD. Tofu, avo, hummus, kimchi, tomato, lettuce.

For dinner we made a recipe out of the latest BA mag that was a miso salmon and it was so easy and delicious and we had brussel sprouts and a salad made entirely with greens from my mom’s garden that I brought with me for Jared’s fam.

I was originally planning on driving back to NJ today but am gonna stay through the weekend which I’m happy about. Jared’s parents were away most of the time I’ve been here so I’m excited to spend more time with them (lol can you tell I love his family).

On tuesday we got dinner with our bff/roommate from college who happens to live like 5 mins away and it was so nice to catch up.

It’s honestly really weird being here rn re: covid because NJ is BARELY starting to reopen meanwhile everything down here is normal-ish. We’ve been trying to be diligent about wearing masks and always eating outside when we’ve gone out. The other day we went somewhere where they took our temps before they would seat us which was good. Interesting to see how it all plays out.

Also this summer is like...FLYING by?? I honestly have like a lot of stuff planned in the next few weeks and then I’m probably heading out west in only a little over a month which is mind blowing

#personalposts #charlotte #nc #j #myfood

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vintagedaydreams · 4 years ago

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The Story That Never Ends (Part ONE-The Hobbit)

Alright, people! I have an absolutely freakin’ awesome person that is going to be collaborating with me on this Never-Ending Story. Give it up for @ramblingwritings who is awesome enough to be with me on this out of control wagon! This is just the first part of The Hobbit section– I am working on the other half and will have that updated soon! Once that happens, the next fandom install can be written and uploaded. 😊

This is going to be the story that jumps from Fandom to Fandom as the Reader dies in each. SO, it will be long and probably never really finished. Who knows. There are so many Fandoms to do this with!!

Enjoy!

(If you have a Fandom you’d like to see in it, feel free to drop a line! We have a list going already. But beware, you may be roped into writing some of it if neither of us are familiar with that Fandom! LOL)

Warnings: language, some violence/disturbing imagery (battle, wounds, etc), fantasy (is that an actual warning at this point?)

So without further ado…

@kettnerjanea

You were born as you, a human, lived in present time and had knowledge of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien.

You liked all the races, Elf, Man and Dwarf – and sometimes Wizard – but you had really fallen in love with all of the Company of Dwarves during The Hobbit storyline. One in particular!

You had been on your way home from a friend’s house where you had all binge-watched the movies, when a drunk driver hit you. You laid there, broken and bleeding and in so much blinding pain you were sobbing, before you felt darkness finally take you.

You jerked awake, a cry of pain on your lips, but saw that you were in a bed and a room that looked familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.

A dream. You just had a bad dream.

Then you heard voices coming from somewhere else in the house and you swung your legs out from under the covers to get up and saw…hairy feet?!

And then, two sets of memories came hurling at you.

Your life as you remembered: your job, your family, your friends, your slight Tolkien obsession, the walk home, the pain…

And then another set: your life as a Took, running wild with other fauntlings, climbing trees and having adventures, being thicker than thieves with one cousin of yours in particular – Bilbo, your second set of memories helpfully supplied, while the other side of your brain was floundering at the implications.

What was going on?!

And then you were bombarded by a male Hobbit – a Hobbit! – one set of your memories recognized as your Took father and you were bid to hurry up, your coming of age birthday party was that day and there was so much to do!

As you got ready on auto-pilot, you sifted through your memories and yep, you had the last 33 years all there as your life as Juniper Took.

Boy was that going to take some getting used to. No one seemed to be acting any different towards you, but you were definitely out of sorts which thankfully your family chalked up to your excitement of being of Age and able to go and do whatever with no one to ask permission of.

Uh, yeah, that was great too – considering that you’d felt that way long before you became a Hobbit. Thank goodness you “woke up” when you were of Age and not too long before!

And thank goodness you were a Took! That alone could explain away a lot of your oddities you were sure were going to pop up with double memories and the ridiculous amount of confusion you were feeling.

When Bilbo showed up at your party, himself a few years older than you, you were sad to say that you inner fangirled and actually had your favorite Hobbit worried and wondering what on Middle Earth was wrong with you.

You promised to visit him the next day and spent the rest of the party just listening to the instincts and memories of your Took self to not draw too much more attention to yourself. (Thank goodness the Juniper before you got two sets of memories already picked out all the presents for the Hobbits there. You wouldn’t know where to begin as confused as you were now.)

You wanted to listen to your Took side and fully embrace being Juniper Took, but how could you when you could still remember all of your life as a human? And you felt as if you’d been plucked from your life as a human to being thrust into being a Hobbit and how could you just…forget all of who you were and become a Took fully?

You’d lived through your life as human, but you only had memories of living through your life as Juniper Took. Didn’t that mean you were Y/N first and Juniper second?

You’d given yourself a mega headache by the time the party was over and even though you didn’t sleep at all, you were knocking on Bilbo’s door bright and early, worked up into a horrible state – even though your Tookish side was warning you that it was far too early for any Hobbits to be up after the late hour of the party last night.

Bilbo had blearily opened the door, though both sides of you were pleased to see that his tiredness vanished in the wake of your -probably awful- appearance.

He’d invited you in, got breakfast started and then…then you’d broken down.

“Bilbo, I think I am…crazy.”

The proper Baggins’ blinked at you from the kitchen counter where he was slicing up tomatoes. “Juniper,” he snarked, and you flinched at the unfamiliar name, though he missed it when he looked back down at his counter, “all Tooks are crazy. You’ve known that since you were born – and the whole Shire is aware of it as well.”

Apparently, he was expecting some snarky remark – at least that part of your personality remained the same – but when none came, he looked back up at you.

“Juniper?” he asked and this time, he didn’t miss the flinch you gave. Suddenly, he was standing right beside your chair at the table.

“What is it? Why do you think you’re crazy? What happened?”

You looked up into warm, worried amber eyes and felt tears gather in your own.

“Does this have anything to do with how…odd you were acting yesterday?”

You nodded miserably, finding your gaze landing on the dress you were wearing. Catching sight of your large, furry – furry! – feet you felt a few tears fall down your face.

Who were you now? Not fully Juniper, but certainly not Y/N anymore. You really couldn’t fit in anywhere! Not with two sets of memories, one feeling more real than the other Tolkien one.

“Bilbo…I…” You heaved a sigh. “Perhaps it’s best if we just forget about it.” You didn’t need your close cousin, or one of your favorite characters, to shun you now. The rest of the Shire was only loosely mentioned in the books and movies – Bilbo was the only real tie to the life you knew before at this point!

“Jun—listen here, Favorite Cousin,” Bilbo said firmly, cutting off the use of your Hobbit name when you winced and changing it to the title you’d both bestowed on each other as young fauntlings years ago, “I can see that something is wrong. I’ve been worried since last night, though I thought maybe it was just you finally getting your freedom. But that obviously isn’t it. So tell me: what is it? What is going on?”

Taking a deep breath, you looked up and found both sides of your mind not able to help trusting the warm, gentle Hobbit beside you.

So you told him everything. It took all day and many meals, but you unloaded all of your past life, your present fears and how lost you felt at the moment.

Bilbo had responded by quizzing you on past memories you had of the both of you and you passed with flying colors. Though he looked just as heartbroken as you when you admitted, with a sob, that while you had the memories, you didn’t remember doing them. It was like watching a movie of someone else’s life, just with a lot more detail.

And then, you had to explain what exactly a movie was, which actually made Bilbo believe what you thought as a crazy story.

But then, no Hobbit, Took or otherwise, was able to come up with such things as the life and the technology you described from your…past life.

The thought of your past life made you start crying all over again.

You’d lost your friends, your family, your life, both figuratively and literally.

Bilbo seemed properly appalled for you and had done his best to comfort you.

And he really was good at that.

It wasn’t until you began to tell him that you…well, you knew what was going to happen, that he seemed to be a little less believing.

At first.

“Wait. What do you mean I am going to leave the Shire and travel with a company of Dwarves? Dwarves! And I’m going to go willingly and do what to a dragon?!”

You gave a slight giggle, swinging your now somewhat beloved furred feet as you both sat in the much more comfortable chairs in front of Bilbo’s fireplace.

“Exactly what I said, Bilbo,” you smiled, taking another sip of the delicious tea your cousin always had on hand. (That was one thing you were quite content to embrace about being a Hobbit – the seven meals a day thing was glorious.) “You meet Gandalf the Grey, or…re-meet him I guess?, then the Dwarves and agree to go on their Quest with them. It is an amazing adventure for you. I think…well, I don’t think you’d be complete without it to be honest.”

Bilbo just stared at you, mouth agape before he suddenly hummed and leaned back further into his chair.

“Alright. Say that…say that I believe you, Juniper.” Your flinch was much less pronounced now, though Bilbo still paused.

“There was another name you went by in your…other life, wasn’t there?” the observant Hobbit asked gently, and you found yourself sniffling a bit.

“Yes. But…I’m not that person anymore, apparently.”

“I think you are,” Bilbo said quietly after a moment. “You’re just as much her as you are Juniper. Maybe even more so. You said yourself that you had memories of us throughout the years, memories of your life here, but no memory of actually doing it. But…you remember doing all those things you told me of in your life as a Man, right?”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah. It feels…wrong to just embrace Jun-Juniper so readily when I don’t really feel that I am her. Regardless of how I look or where I am.”

There was silence before Bilbo suddenly jumped out of his chair, startling you.

“So! What do I call you?”

You looked at him in confusion, but before you could open your mouth he continued, “Your name in your other world. What was it?”

“Y/N,” you said after a hesitant moment. “It was Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Well, I don’t think we could get away with calling you by your last name here, not with you being a Took all this time in everyone else’s memories, but I could definitely call you Y/N. No one would blink at a new name, we’ve certainly called each other all sorts of names throughout the years. This would just be another of our oddities.”

The Hobbit before you suddenly swept into a deep, polite bow. “A pleasure you meet you, Y/N. Bilbo Baggins, at your service.”

No matter what your Took side said, though it didn’t put up really any protest at all, you flung yourself out of the chair and into Bilbo’s arms.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you practically sobbed, the sound of your own name the only grounding thing you had here.

Bilbo had sent a letter to your family and had invited you to stay with him for awhile. No one questioned it – everyone in the entire Shire knew of the Took and the Baggins who had made a right nuisance of themselves since they met when you were born.

And wasn’t that an odd thing to think of? Bilbo was older than you but you knew about a lot of his life that not only had happened but that was going to happen.

An evil thought crossed your mind. Perhaps… a little event changing would not be too amiss on the adventure you were going to wiggle your way into with the Company? By your calculations, you still had quite a bit of time left – Bilbo was only a few years older than yourself – a respectable forty to your newly christened thirty-three.

If the Company wasn’t supposed to come until Bilbo was fifty…well, that gave you ten years to try and make your gentle Hobbit a bit more burglar and less ‘grocer’. And if Thorin could find it in himself not to be a dick straight away, well, it’d make your job all the easier. Why couldn’t Bilbo stay in Erober? Why couldn’t the Thorin line survive the Battle of the Five Armies?

Besides, you’d been thrown into this Juniper Took’s body for a reason. And even though you didn’t remember Bilbo being close to really anyone other than the Gamgees in the book and movie, you and him obviously were still close, even before you got another set of memories.

So, if you were thrown here and were already this close to the main character, might as well change a few things up, right?

Right.

-----

It only took you two months to not only grow as close to Bilbo as you had been before you’d added more memories, but also to convince him that an adventure right now, when you weren’t on a time frame, was a really good idea.

You’d needed someone to confide in so much, you’d brought Bilbo into your confidence about everything. Minus your more radical plot changing ideas. It’d be better if he came to the conclusion to stay in Erober on his own.

But he now knew every detail of not only the Company, but the Lord of the Rings storyline too. And he was not thrilled about his coming nephew in the line of fire and danger if he could help it.

He’d agreed that once Erebor was retaken in a decade and some change, he’d help destroy the Ring he was going to pick up along the way.

You’d been adamant that some things had to happen, some bad things. Otherwise, if the Company wasn’t attacked by goblins, how was he supposed to find the Ring Gollum had?

(You’d also wrangled a promise out of Bilbo that he was take you with him, contract be damned, when the time came.)

But for the moment, you were off to see the Elves in Rivendell, as it was the closest.

You had a plan. One that you obviously told Bilbo about as well.

If you two could travel a bit, befriend at least some of the elves, men, what have you, that you’d meet up with on the way to the mountain, maybe the journey would be easier is some spots. Not just for Bilbo, (and yourself), but for the poor Dwarves who had been driven out of their home for decades now.

Bilbo had been almost beside himself hearing about the plight of the Dwarves and their lost home. You’d practically had to hold him back from leaving for the Blue Mountains to find this soon-to-be-king Thorin and start early.

You managed to talk him into not doing that, since it’d screw everything up. No, best to just familiarize yourselves with at least part of the journey’s roads and meet some hopefully helpful characters beforehand.

Though befriending Elves wouldn’t endear either of you to the Dwarves, especially Thorin, but…well, they were Elves and Bilbo was over the moon. Once you’d mentioned Elves, well, it was all you could do to make sure you both actually gathered supplies for the journey, rather than just run out the door.

If you knew that Bilbo’s excitement for the Elves would be this bad, (and you should’ve), you would’ve mentioned Elves two months ago.

Honestly – who was supposed to be the elder of you two? You or him?

You finally got everything situated and had only just left the Shire when who should you both come across but Gandalf the Grey.

His timing really was uncanny at times.

“Bilbo Baggins and Y/N Took. I should have known.”

You and your cousin, (that still took a little getting used to), just gaped at the older, wizened man.

“What….oh! You must be Gandalf then?” Bilbo asked first, (since he didn’t remember him at all from meeting him so long ago), while your brain was still trying to catch up to the fact that the wizard had called you Y/N, not Juniper.

Bilbo cottoned on to that too, because his brow furrowed and he leaned over the pony he was somewhat successfully riding to mutter to you, “That is a little creepy. Like you said. Does he know everything?”

“I am honored that I have been spoken about,” Gandalf cut in, eyes twinkling. “And no. Alas, I do not know everything, but in this case, I think, I may know just enough.”

You were aware you were an odd sight, a female Hobbit, Took or no, astride a pony in breeches and a blouse and vest, and gaping quite unattractively at the wizard.

But…he’d called you by your real name!

Well, it definitely made things easier if he already knew everything. There were still things you had probably forgotten to tell Bilbo – it was hard to remember every little thing between four books, six movies and all the years of your previous life. Not to mention the thousands of fanfictions.

Yes, there was probably something you had forgotten to pass on – Gandalf knowing everything already would be so much easier.

“Off to see the Elves?” Gandalf asked from his own horse and you and Bilbo both grimaced.

“Yes,” you muttered after a moment, “that is creepy.”

The wizard laughed.

“And yet, you know more than I about events about to unfold.”

“Yes, but I have a good excuse,” you said somewhat petulantly. “And I don’t have any idea what’s going to happen in the next ten years. Only when the Company arrives. Before that I’m just as lost as everyone else.”

“Then this will be good for the both of you,” Gandalf decided with another eye twinkle. He really was starting to remind you of Dumbledoore. Huh. Dying and ending up in the Harry Potter world would have been fun too.

“Perhaps you would allow a lonely old man to accompany you on your travels. It has been some time since I’ve seen my old friends in Imladris.”

You and Bilbo exchanged another glance and then you both shrugged in tandem. The past few months, you had been speaking with Bilbo not only about your life as human you and the story of what was to come, but also more in depth about the memories you had as Juniper.

You had never felt closer to anyone than you did you Bilbo. And, he’d told you one night, he felt closer to you now than he did when you were just Juniper with only Juniper’s memories.

Cousins, nothing. You and Bilbo acted like twins, despite the age difference.

“Sure, Gandalf,” you said with a grin, “we’d love the company. Might as well get to know you well know, yes?”

You three started off again and then Gandalf cast you a sidelong look.

“I assume you’ll be joining the Company then in a few years’ time?”

You gave as innocent a grin as you could with Took blood, “What on earth would make you think that?”

Gandalf chuckled yet again.

“Two burglars for the price of one. I think Oakenshield will find that acceptable.”

Gandalf’s eyes widened a bit when Bilbo didn’t react at all – no questions, no concerns, just a placid smile.

“He knows all about the Company and the…Adventure then?”

You gave a grin, not even bothering with trying to be Innocent. “Yup! Gandalf, I can’t keep secrets from my brother!”

“Cousin,” Gandalf corrected, though it was more a question and you felt something warm unfurl in your chest when Bilbo spoke up, “Brother.”

The three of you traveled slow and sedate, giving Bilbo, (and yourself), much needed practice on the ponies. It wouldn’t do for the Company to see you as burdens right off the bat. Better to lull them into a false sense of security first.

Gandalf was ridiculously helpful once he realized that you and Bilbo both planned to help the Company as much as possible.

You didn’t tell Gandalf all, but just enough for him to understand that the Dwarves were going to have a hard journey. But that you and Bilbo were determined to spend the next ten years trying to smooth the way as much as possible and learn as much as you could to actually be helpful. Right from the start.

Arriving in Rivendell was amazing for both you and Bilbo. While you had seen it in the movies, it was so much more magical and breathtaking in person.

Bilbo wasn’t fairing any better, being in absolute awe himself.

Lord Elrond came and greeted you by your human name as well and you gaped, once again, unattractively at the Elf lord.

Gandalf knowing made sense but how did – then you remembered Elrond’s gift of foresight.

“You saw me coming!” you pretty much accused the Elf lord, much to Bilbo consternation and Gandalf’s amusement.

“I did, Lady Y/N,” Elrond affirmed, his own amusement shining through. “Myself, as well as Lady Galadriel, saw what would happen to you in your own world and how you would come to be here in ours. I must say, you have shown remarkable adjustment to the situation. And much quicker than we had imagined.”

You flushed, but sent a very thankful, meaningful look to Bilbo.

“If it wasn’t for my brother, I wouldn’t be half as adjusted,” you murmured and gave a soft laugh as you saw Bilbo flush as well. What a pair you two were.

“Come,” Elrond said after a moment, “you are most welcome here, for as long as you wish. I have seen great things in store for the both of you.”

Bilbo looked at the Elf lord in surprise. “For the both of us?”

You snorted before Elrond could answer.

“Bilbo. I may be from another world, well…half of my mind may be from another world, but you are the main character! If anyone should be asking if we both have great things in store for us, it should be me. Not you. Besides, I already told you at least part of the great things you have in store for you.”

“Yes, Master Baggins,” Elrond said with a gentle smile, still with amusement dancing in his eyes, “great things are in store for the both of you. But before we get into any of that, you must be tired. I imagine that traveling this far, and on ponies, is different for you both. Come, let us show you to your rooms and get you settled.”

It hadn’t taken long before you and Bilbo were both settled, fed and asleep in your rooms. It had been a long journey, even though Gandalf had not been in any hurry and you had had frequent stops and rests.

The next morning at breakfast, Bilbo had laughed at how much he had appreciated a soft bed after only a week on the road. He admitted, as you agreed wholeheartedly, that it was a good thing you were both traveling now and getting used to this before the Company arrived.

Ten years sounded like a lot to the human half of your mind, but the Tookish half didn’t seen daunted. Ten years wasn’t much to a Hobbit and you had to use the next years well.

The journey to the Elves had given both you and Bilbo a yearning for more adventure and an excitement for the Company’s journey.

When Elrond suggested you stay for awhile in Rivendell to get familiar with it and its people, you and Bilbo both readily agreed.

After all, that was the point of all this traveling – to try and make the journey as easy as possible for your soon to be Dwarven companions.

“You and Bilbo are quite brave to undertake all of this extra journeying,” Elrond had said one day as he found you standing on the balcony of your room. Honorifics had been dropped the second day you were all there – mostly for your benefit. It wasn’t your fault that honorifics weren’t a thing in your world, or high in priority for the Took side of you either!

“I’m not sure brave is the best word,” you laughed, turning to the Elf lord beside you. “But I wasn’t sure I could stay in the Shire any longer. A few months was bad enough with my…confused state. And I’d been at Bilbo’s almost the entire time – we needed to get away. I couldn’t go…home.”

Because your home was worlds away.

A large hand settled gently on your shoulder.

“Galadriel and I have been watching you since before the day you awoke here in this world. You have shown remarkable bravery, Y/N. Your world is a lot different than ours and while the Took side of you is helpful in settling you here, we are aware of how torn you feel. How…unreal this body and the memories of Juniper Took are to you.”

The Elf lord paused for a few moments, though his hand did not leave you.

“I had elves ready to come to the Shire and take you here so we could help you adjust, but Galadriel had sent a message to tell me that she had foreseen your Took side’s cousin – Bilbo – helping you and becoming an invaluable companion. We were both pleased, though not shocked as we have come to know you before and after you awoke as Juniper, that you chose to use the next few years to help smooth the way for your Company. Erober is almost ready for its rightful ruler to return. It does our old hearts good to see how you and Bilbo are preparing yourself for the journey. You shall be invaluable to them.”

You blinked back tears, feeling a small piece of yourself settle. Elrond and Galadriel, they knew. Yes, Bilbo knew about your time, but only because you had told him. The two Seers knew of your time, of who you were because they had seen it. They knew you.

And it was a wonderful feeling.

You felt yourself get pulled gently into Elrond’s embrace and let loose a soft sob.

“I miss technology,” you muttered into his chest and the answering chuckle, the knowledge that Elrond knew what you were talking about without you having to explain it, made you sob just a little bit harder.

Elrond had escorted you to dinner, (seriously, best thing about being a Hobbit was the enormous capacity for food!), and then you and Bilbo had gone to the library to begin some research.

Just wandering around the whole of Middle Earth was not probable, especially with Orcs, Goblins and bugs out there, so you both needed to learn as much as you could bookwise. At least for now.

You also didn’t want Bilbo to be presumed dead, so no super long adventure yet. Hopefully, with you and Bilbo taking short adventures that turned into longer and longer adventures, Hobbiton would be used to Bilbo being gone and he wouldn’t have to chase down his silverware. (You were dying to meet Galadriel, Haldir and Thranduil, but you could be patient. …Probably.)

All of the Elves had been ridiculously nice and welcoming.

You and Bilbo had found kindred spirits in Elrond’s twin children; a bond that the majority of Rivendell looked on with good natured suspicion. You and Bilbo were terrors in your own right, but coupled with Elladan and Elrohir’s pranking…well. Rivendell was a bit livelier while you were there.

Being Elrond’s children, the twins knew of your…origins and had question after question for you. But they were also observant and kind enough to see when it pained you to speak of what you’d lost and they’d find excellent ways to distract you. (You felt kind of bad that Lindir was so traumatized so many years before the Company came, but as he seemed to have a soft spot for you Hobbits, you didn’t feel bad enough to stop.)

Both you and Elrond had felt it better that Estel not see you. At least, not at this time. He wasn’t even two decades yet, had a few more years to go, and really, you didn’t trust yourself around how adorable he was.

Being as small as you were, (and that was another thing that had taken some time to get used to!), it wasn’t hard for you to avoid the human young man. Though you couldn’t help but sneak a peak as often as you could without getting caught. You were right – he really was just too cute! Arwen was going to be one lucky lady.

You and Bilbo had been in Rivendell for almost two months when you decided that you’d need to head back to the Shire. Reminding Bilbo of the trouble he would have getting his stuff back from those who thought him dead after his trip with the Company, Bilbo quit arguing and was more than willing to head back. (He had to admit that your idea of slowly getting the Shire used to him being gone for months at a time would be beneficial in the long run.)

Gandalf accompanied you all the way to Bree and then you and Bilbo were on your own back to Hobbiton. You had already sent word to your parents that you were unofficially having adventures and now living with your honorary brother. Your parents, proud and adventurous Tooks that they were, were overjoyed that you’d come into your own adventures – and drug along a Baggins too! You secretly thought they were just thrilled he was ‘embracing’ his Took side.

“I think,” Bilbo’s voice cut you from your musings, “that we have had a very successful first two months of Adventuring.”

You gave a laugh, both of you so much more at ease on your ponies than you were when you first started. Elladan and Elrohir had been more than willing to teach you the Ways of the Pony.

“Yes, Bilbo. We did good. Very good. Those notes you took about the people and the copies of the maps in Elrond’s study – those will give us a good place to start for a game plan. Then, maybe in a month or two, we’ll head out again!”

“In a month or two?” Bilbo said, somewhat disbelieving. “I would have assumed you’d want to head out as soon as we found a good direction!”

You gave the Hobbit you seriously loved like a brother a small smile. “I’d love to, but…well, let’s ease into this just a bit. Not just for our sake but for the Shire’s. Give them a little time to get used to the fact that a proper Baggins has been corrupted by his Took relative. And a month at least will give us a solid foundation of where to go and a good rest. Neither one of us are quite used to this, Bilbo.”

The Hobbit riding beside you puffed on his pipe a few more times before nodding decisively. “Another brilliant idea, Y/N. Besides it will give me some time to see what I missed taking care of before we left last time so I can do better this next time around.”

You grinned, feeling the excitement that never truly left you, bubbling up again. Oh, to have such a willing travel partner!

You and Bilbo stayed in the Shire for exactly two months. In the beginning, you listened to your Tookish instincts and made yourself and Bilbo present all over Hobbiton. At the market, at the Green Dragon, everywhere you two could. It showed that Bilbo was still a respectable Hobbit, at least somewhat, and that you were still the wacky Took they all knew. (Even though you were more different than any of them could ever possibly know.)

After Hobbiton had gotten over your sudden disappearance and reappearance – and for such a scandalous thing as an adventure of all things! – you and Bilbo stayed in Bag End more often than not, pouring over his drawings and notes to see what the best route would be. You didn’t know every route exactly that the Company was going to take, but you did know major landmarks.

So you and Bilbo crafted a couple of routes that Company could possibly take and hit those landmarks, as well as a couple of routes the Company could take to avoid a few of those landmarks, (like the Trolls).

“I’m not 100 percent sure,” you murmured thoughtfully one day, puffing away at a pipe that Bilbo had gifted you with your first month here, “but I think that the whole journey only should take a few months. Frodo and Sam take about six months to get to Mordor to destroy the ring, and that’s with a few months stay over in Lorien and Rivendell.” You shot a grin at Bilbo. “Seems like a love of Elves is genetic.”

Bilbo snorted in amusement before turning back to the maps spread out on his dining room table.

“So, only a few months then to get to Erober for us as well?” You both looked at the maps before Bilbo suddenly looked up at you with a wide grin and sparkling eyes.

“We could potentially take the trip multiple times, on multiple routes before the Dwarves even get here!”

You blinked at the once respectable Hobbit – you had created an adventurous monster!

But…

“That is not a bad idea,” you mused thoughtfully, puffing away. Granted, it would be far too dangerous of a trek for two Hobbits by themselves, but if Gandalf, or even an Elf or two went with you…

“I wonder if Elrond would let his sons come with us. Or another Elf or two,” you continued to muse. At Bilbo’s furrowed brow, you started to point out places on the map.

“The Misty Mountains are far too dangerous for us to go on our own. And the Trolls,” you pointed to a spot marked by Rivendell, “doubly not good. Our soon to be companions are going to be a huge help, Bilbo. Alone, you and me? We’d not last more than a week. Especially not through Mirkwood.”

You gave a shudder. Giant spiders you could well do without.

Bilbo hummed in agreement and the two of you lapsed into silence.

A knock sounded on the bright green door and Bilbo huffed before he went to answer it.

“It’s not even tea time,” he grumbled as he passed you and you giggled at his surliness towards anyone the last few weeks that interrupted your planning.

You heard the door open, but nothing else. No greeting, so well wishes, no grumbling.

Feeling uneasy, you slowly crept to the doorway to the dining room so you could peak around the corner.

“Haldir!” you exclaimed, old fangirl tendencies rushing to the surface. Forgetting all propriety, (did Tooks even know what that was?), you flew passed Bilbo and collided with the Marchwarden’s legs.

Bilbo stared at you in shock, but thankfully, the Elf who’s legs you were embracing, just chuckled.

“I have never doubted my Lady’s word, however I must admit I was a bit…hesitant to believe. I’m glad to see my faith in my Lady was not unfounded. You are Y/N and you already know all about me and the Lady’s Woods, yes?”

You didn’t even let the blush that tried to work its way onto your cheeks see the light of day. So you were brash and literally just glomp attacked an Elf. Haldir. Marchwarden.

Who cared?!

“Yup!” you chirped, drawing a chuckle from Bilbo as well. “I do know you, Haldir.” You took a few steps back, getting a better look at Haldir and the small party of Elves standing a few feet behind him.

“Won’t you please come in?” Bilbo offered, taking a step back out of the doorway and grasping your sleeve to pull you with.

You went with him easily, still grinning. Sue you. You freakin’ loved Lorien’s elves. Especially this particular one.

“Thank you, Master Baggins,” Haldir said smoothly, entering past you both. The few other Elves followed and you and Bilbo shared a look that would have been followed by an excited high pitched squeal if you were alone without Elven visitors.

In no time, food was prepared, Elven guests were attended to and Haldir was finally explaining what he was doing in the Shire and at Bag End, when he had never met either of you before.

“We have an audience with the Elvenking Thranduil,” Haldir began, “but do need to see Lord Elrond before we arrive in Greenwood. As we had to cross the Misty Mountains anyway to reach Imladris, my Lady Galadriel suggested we stop by and see if you both would like to accompany us. She has informed myself and my small party here as to your plan for the next few years. It is admirable. My guards and I saw no reason to not lengthen our journey by a mere few weeks to come and escort you all the way to Greenwood, should you wish it.”

Thankfully, you were not the only Hobbit gaping this time. Bilbo’s jaw was also hanging down practically to his waistcoat buttons.

The Elves said not a word while they waited for your response, but you could feel the amusement radiating from all of them.

Clearing your throat, you squeaked out, “Yes! We would be honored to accompany you.”

Bilbo finally shut his own mouth, nodding along with your statement. Honored indeed – this was perfect! Just what the two of you were needing!

Haldir bowed his head in acknowledgement.

“Excellent. We would like to get started as soon as possible; as soon as you can set your house to rights.”

“Well,” Bilbo said, throwing a grin at you, “we’ll be ready by tomorrow morning then. We’ve been preparing this house to be vacant ever since we got back a couple of months ago.”

Haldir’s eyes twinkled as he looked from you to Bilbo and back again.

“We are glad to hear it,” he murmured with a small smile.

You and Bilbo just had a few more odds and ends to tie up, both with the neighbors and around the house before you got to packing for your journey.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, the Elves had slipped in to the Shire mostly unnoticed and so you were able to let the neighbors know simply that you off again on another adventure.

This time, few brows were raised, though there were some head shakes.

For the hundredth time, you were thankful you were shoved into a Took’s family line! How boring it would be to live all your long life in such a nice, but boring place as the Shire!

The next morning, right before daybreak, the Elves, Bilbo and yourself headed off towards Rivendell once again.

The Elves had mentioned that they were on foot as they were used to it with the close, tall trees of Lorien, though they mentioned that they could get some ponies and horses at Bree, should you both prefer it.

You and Bilbo had both elected to stay on foot – as long as the Elves wouldn’t mind the slightly slower pace.

At the elegantly raised brows, you had mentioned how often the Company would have to walk. Might as well get used to it on at least part of your journey at some point!

That started off some questions from the Elves and you and Bilbo both willingly answered them all. Elves were a calm race that you both trusted implicitly to not go and try to bungle things up. It wouldn’t hurt to have them know some of the finer details, and indeed, they actually contributed quite a bit of useful information.

Along the way, they all pitched in to help you and Bilbo learn of both edible and medicinal plants. Being Hobbits, (one of you perhaps more of a true Hobbit than the other), you and Bilbo took to learning more about plants like ducks to water. Bilbo, begin a Baggins, did have more knowledge than you did as a Took, but even he learned new things along the way to Rivendell.

Your stay in Rivendell was much shorter than last time. Only two nights while Haldir met with Elrond and you and Bilbo enjoyed the Elvish comforts.

Elladan and Elrohir found you the last night you were there, having just come back from Orc hunting. You were once again on the balcony of your room, looking out over the beautiful city.

“Y/N!” they greeted in tandem, making you smile fondly. These two did remind you of the Elvish version of Fili and Kili – you were getting more and more excited to meet the Company, even though not even a year had passed yet!

“Greetings, my Twin Terrors,” you grinned as they stopped in front of you, greeting you happily.

Elladan gave you the puppy eyes as his hands rested on your shoulders and with a good natured eye-roll, you nodded.

With a wide grin, the Elf reached down and picked you up. It was a habit they had formed the last time you were here – carrying you around and manhandling you onto chairs or tables.

Unlike Bilbo, you really didn’t mind being carried or helped onto ponies, beds, tables, etc. You found yourself still thinking you were your human height more often than not, especially now that everyone you spent time with called you Y/N instead of Juniper. So extra help to get front point A to point B, especially in a ‘tall folk’ city – that was perfectly fine with you!

Placing you on his shoulders, Elladan headed out of your room and down the hall, he and Elrohir pestering you with questions about what you were doing here.

As soon as you told them, they both ground to a halt.

“You’re going to Greenwood? Across the Misty Mountains?” Elladan gasped and you flicked him in the forehead.

“Elladan,” you started, sickly sweet, “I know you’re not about to protest that I can’t do it.”

“Well…no,” the twin hedged and you flicked him again.

“And I know that you’re not implying that Haldir and his wardens can’t protect Bilbo and I—”

“Of course not!” Elladan said vehemently and you grinned, wrapping your arms around his head.

“Good!” you chirped. “I am glad to hear it.”

“However,” Elrohir cut in, “you should still be prepared.”

You looked down at him from your perch on Elladan’s shoulders.

“What? Prepared? How?”

Elrohir and Elladan shared a grin before they announced, “A weapon!”

Surprisingly, it didn’t take much for both Elrond and Haldir to agree that you and Bilbo both should have some weapons.

You grinned at Bilbo’s face but causally just said, “Sting.”

Bilbo gave up his protests after that. Haldir and his wardens had already sworn to teach you as you travelled to Greenwood and it would give you all something to do while you walked that far.

Before the night was out, you and Bilbo each had weapons – Bilbo an Elven sword, (that you already claimed once he found Sting years down the road), and you with two Elven daggers.

You were actually quite excited to learn how to use them. You were not going to be useless when the Company came around! (And if there was a certain bald dwarf you had been thinking of the more you and Bilbo talked about the Company, and that same bald dwarf you wanted to show you could hold your own to, well, that was for you and you alone to know. Besides, it would be years before you saw any of the Company. By then, you’d probably forget what they all looked like with no visual reminders anywhere.)

You all left Rivendell the next morning, Bilbo up in front of the line with a few of the Elves telling him stories of Lorien, and you and Haldir more in the middle, enjoying each other’s company and silence. You were only a few hours away before Haldir finally turned to you.

“Y/N,” he said suddenly and you looked up at him with a grin.

“Yes, Haldir?”

“I noticed that in Imladris, last night, Lord Elrond’s sons seemed to…that is…,” the Elf trailed off and you frowned in thought before suddenly laughing.

“You mean they liked to carry me around? Yes, they found it incredibly amusing last time we were there a few months ago. Their favorite past time according to them.”

The Elf’s brows rose. “And that doesn’t offend you?”

You giggled – something you never did as a human. Must be a Hobbit thing.

“No,” you assured, “it doesn’t offend me at all. I am used to being much taller, you see, and especially in places made for taller folk, it’s actually quite nice to not have to walk all the way.”

You threw a glance at the back of Bilbo’s head with a grin. “Though, I think I may be one of the only Hobbits that feels that way.”

“And why, do you think, the Sons of Elrond found such delight in carrying you?” Haldir asked a moment later and you gave a shrug.

“At first, I honestly thought they were doing it be annoying,” you confessed, delighting in Haldir’s chuckle, “but…I don’t know. They just seemed to do it all the time the last few weeks were there and I guess I got used to it too.”

There was silence again for awhile before you felt a hand on your shoulder. Quizzically, you turned to look up at Haldir who was smiling down at you.

“May I?” he asked and you laughed with a nod.

You’d gotten some looks when Haldir first lifted you up, though instead of putting you on his shoulders, he carried you bridal style in his arms. Which was fine with you. It was much easier to talk and you could admit that you were still not used to traveling as much as you were.

Teasingly, you called to Bilbo to see if he wanted a ride as well, and when one of the Elves moved as if to pick him up, you all laughed at his indignant squawk.

Well, you and him did differ in a few obvious ways.

Haldir and a few of the other Elves carried you on and off and your trip to Mirkwood. You did try and walk frequently, but after all, you still had about nine years to get used to traveling. If the Elves didn’t mind carrying you, well, you wouldn’t mind being carried!

Bilbo was holding up very well. While the Elves set a decent pace, it wasn’t anything as rushed as what the Company would be doing later on, so it was easier for both you and Bilbo to get used to it.

It wasn’t until the morning after you all camped at the edge of Greenwood, while you were all packing up to enter the gloomy forest, that you approached Bilbo about being carried himself.

“Absolutely not,” he denied, curls flying with his shaking head. “I am not going to be carried like some—”

“Careful,” you sing-songed to him. “Don’t offend me now, brother.”

Bilbo fondly rolled his eyes. “I have absolutely no issue with you being carried. In fact, I think that pretty much every male you come into contact with has some desire to protect you or something and feels better about being able to carry you around. But, I am not going to join in!”

“Bilbo,” you said quietly, seriously, “we’re at the edge of Greenwood. Now called Mirkwood. You remember the awfulness I told you about that is in Mirkwood? This is not a place you’re going to want to walk. And even if it was, this is not a place we’re going to want to stay in any longer than we have to! The forest is not good, Bilbo. Not good. Please? Would you just allow yourself to be carried until we reach the Elvenking’s palace?”

You pulled out the puppy dog eyes you discovered you excelled at a month into knowing Bilbo. You only used them in very dire situations – you didn’t want him to become immune.

Bilbo glared at you for a moment before heaving a sigh.

“Alright,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “Alright. You haven’t led us astray yet, or kept anything from me. If you…if you think it’s really necessary, then I will let someone carry me.”

“Excellent choice, Bilbo,” Haldir said as he walked up to you both. All the Elves were ready to go and waiting. “We are ready if you two are.”

You finished tying up your pack before you were scooped up into Haldir’s arms.

Bilbo was still grumbling as another Elf scooped him up into his arms.

You tried to smother your giggle as Bilbo continued to mutter under his breath. You had meant it – it was good for Bilbo to not walk through Mirkwood. But…boy, were you still going to enjoy this!

It didn’t take long for Woodland Realm Elves to catch up with your procession.

Lady Galadriel had already sent along a message to inform King Thranduil that you and Bilbo would most likely be accompanying her Marchwarden, so you were not a surprise to the scouts.

However, they surprised you. One minute, you were in Haldir’s arms, looking around at the tall trees, dark they were, and the next, you were staring into the very close face of a very familiar looking Elf.

“Legolas!” you greeted with a large grin. The blonde Prince blinked, exchanging a glance with Haldir before turning his eyes back to yours.

“You know of me, Little One?”

You blinked too, for a moment. Oh. Seems Lady Galadriel hadn’t told them of you. Well, it was going to be different having to explain all of this again. And…how much to tell the Woodland Elves? After all, there was no love lost between them and the Company… And while Thranduil was one of your favorite Elves, he was actually the root cause of quite a few problems. Not to mention that the Company pretty much hated him…

Shoot.

“Uh, yes,” you said after a delayed moment. A very delayed moment that was a little worrying, if the tightening of Haldir’s arms around you was any indication.

Okay, you could admit it. The whole ‘let’s visit Mirkwood’ idea was actually not one of your better ones. Since Thorin and Co. never told Thranduil exactly what they were doing and where they were going, it stood to reason that you shouldn’t just blurt out their plans like you did to the Lorien Elves. Since Lorien wasn’t even on the way to Erober, they didn’t matter but Thranduil? Oh, he mattered.

Double shoot.

“Legolas, my friend,” Haldir’s voice brought you out of your increasingly panicked musings, “it has been a long road. Perhaps we may continue this in a more comfortable venue?”

Legolas spared you one more glance before nodding and saying something in Elvish and you all moved out.

‘Nice job, Juniper,’ you hissed mentally to yourself. ‘How the hell you gonna get out of this one?’

Maybe Haldir and his Wardens would play along – you and Bilbo could claim you were just here for an adventure! Of course, you know, you’d have to explain exactly why you’re tagging along with a Marchwarden doing his duty, and how you got invited along in the first place, since you’d never met them before… Hey! Now there’s an idea!

You can tell Thranduil about who you are, but just tell him that you took Bilbo along with you to explore the area you’d read about and seen in movies! No mention of the Company, no mention of Erober.

Perfect! Sorta. Granted, Thranduil would figure out you kept things from in in about nine years, but it’d be better than betraying Thorin’s confidence before he’d actually even given it to you. Hopefully Thranduil would be okay with you leaving out some information… You’d hate to have him turn against you in nine years. He really was one of your favorites.

Now, the only problem: how to get Haldir, the wardens and Bilbo to all follow your lead without actually telling them to follow your lead.

Legolas wasn’t stupid. Suddenly shouting to ‘not say anything except for the fact that we’re traveling for funsies’ probably would garner some attention.

Triple shoot.

Your mind had been in a whirl since you met Legolas, trying to figure out all the ways this could go wrong, (and there were quite a few), and then come up with a plan to bypass those ways. In this, you were less successful.

Thankfully, Thranduil was kind enough to have you all escorted to room to rest for what remained of the day before having an audience with the Lorien envoys and meeting his other guests.

You were able to corner Bilbo, as well as Haldir and the other Elves, and told them you’d like to run point on this. Haldir and his wardens agreed easily that your business here was your own – if the Elvenking wanted to know, he could ask you and Bilbo himself.

That part taken care of, you took Bilbo aside, (you were put in adjoining rooms), to quietly hiss to him that he was NOT to mention the Company. You and your origins, sure. And he could say that you and him were just traveling to the places that you’d read about, seen in movies, etc. That would, hopefully, be enough to satisfy Thranduil.

Bilbo was hesitant at first, (lying, even by omission!, to an Elvenking was not really good practice), but when you reminded him that Thorin did not want his quest known, and reminded him of the….slight bad blood between the Dwarf and Elf, Bilbo was suddenly very passionate about keeping all details of the Company to himself.

You had to grin to yourself at that. Okay, so maybe you had been talking up Thorin a bit to Bilbo. Nothing too personal, just enough that Bilbo was growing attached to him, his family and his plight. And hopefully wouldn’t be so put out by his demeanor.

This ‘manipulating the plot’ thing was actually going pretty well – and you still had nine years left!

You were brought dinner in your rooms, were able to wash up, and then you both turned in. You had been informed by Haldir, on his way to his own room, that King Thranduil was going to summon you both to meet with him the next morning. Neither Bilbo nor yourself wanted to screw something up because of sleep deprivation.

Early bed time it was.

#To be continued #The Hobbit #Its Gonna Keep Going #You ready?#I'm not #fandoms galore #Reader Insert #Pairings?#NO CLUE on that

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